10 things a virgin learned at Burning Man
Everyone should experience Black Rock City. Itās the closest you can get to going to another planet, another world.
Not sure, if Iāll go every year, but Iāll definitely go again and have a completely different experience.
They say, āYou donāt have the burn you want, you have the burn you need.ā
My first burn was a learning experience. And hereās what I learned. Ā
Those in the default world just donāt know how to hug. You could have hugs at Burning Man last several minutes, and most of the shortest ones, no matter what, consisted of a full breath in and a full breath out. Take in that person. Why hug them if youāre not going to?Ā
*Fellow virgin Snazzy and I rolling in the dust on our way into the playa
My friend Helius was practicing this fully at the burn. Loving no matter if the person you love returns the love, rejects you, hurts you or wants to be alone. Loving without sexualizing, without needing a return on your investment. Just lovingā¦including self loveā¦But thatās talked about more in the next one.Ā
3. There is no place for guilt, shame or envyĀ
My friend Helius had been before and was intending this experience to be spiritually fruitful. I joined him and the RV crew on some good for the soul activities like a tapping meditation workshop and a sunrise dance party. Ā Ā
He really tried to embody the 10 Principles of Burning Man, one of which is immediacy. When we biked by the Metal Woman That Breaths and he suggested we take a nude photo in front of her, I knew I wanted to do it, but not necessarily right then and thereā¦thatās where immediacy comes in, or as Nike says #Justdoit.
After we got our picture, close by were several women dancing nude with scarves on the playa. We were already naked, so we joined them.
Honestly, it was one of the best experiences I had. It was my first time taking my clothes off at the burn, and it was amazing not feeling like I was doing something wrong or shameful. I went back to my camp in nothing but a tutu (It was tutu Tuesday after all). In the default world if you stroll into a place with people you donāt really know that well topless, you may get looks or remarks behind your back. But not at Burning Manā¦it was a good feeling, especially for someone who wrestles with feelings of guilt and shame and caring what people think.
Self love is not judging yourself harshly through shame, guilt and envy. So I try to say bye bye to those three things.
This goes along with the Principle of Immediacy, as well as with the Principle of Participate. How often do we want to say something to a friend or lover, but we censor ourselves or donāt speak out in public because we are afraid of what people will say or think of us?
The night of the temple burn I was watching the Temple of Promise go up in flames with several thousand of my closest friends. The Temple burn is different from the burning of the man because itās a mostly silent solemn occasion as people are freed from whatever they were trying to cleanse themselves of at the Temple earlier in the week. Some people yelled out things like āI miss you (insert name of loved one here)ā, but mostly it was silent. One gentleman close by yelled out āEnjoy your burnā, and I almost responded with āYou tooā, but I cut myself off, because I was nervous or didnāt want people to notice me. And then I felt badly, because no one responded to him, and it was dead silence and felt almost awkward, at least for me.
Several minutes passed, and I had an urge to say something still and I could feel it inside of me, so all of sudden I just yelled out to no one, to everyone, to myself āI LOVE YOUā.
What a relief! It felt so good to act on the pent up urge, and you know what? After that, others around me responded with more I love youās or I love you tooās, all around it was like a chain reaction of love. It felt good.
5. You can manifest things in your life.Ā
This happened all the way along my Burning Man journey. Since 2013 I had said, ā2015 is my year, thatās when I will go to Burning Manā. But it was mid August and I still didnāt have a ticket, but on August 15th, a ticket just came to me, after I had resigned myself to not going. Then things just seemed to fall into place. When I got to the Playa I was able to find everyone who I knew was there, we always seemed to just find each other.
My friend Helius told me a story of how he and GreyLove were exploring and were very hungry. They decided to climb some art, as you do at the burn, and not ten minutes later did someone come up behind them and say āDid somebody order a pizza here?ā True story, the guy had a pizza, and just gave it to them. They didnāt order it, they manifested it.
On Wednesday evening, after a quadruple wedding, friends and I were chatting and they said how I should start officiating weddings, because:
and boy do I love weddings.
Literally within the hour, I had officiated my first Playa wedding at the Jerk Church complete with the first dance; beautiful acoustic sing along rendition of āTurn your lights down lowā led by the bartender. One of the loveliest moments of the burn for me.
*The wedding was complete with band and art car party that took us to the grilled cheese and champagne reception.Ā
6. Itās ok to be alone, but sometimes itās nicer to not be.Ā
I love being social and with people, but Iāve called myself a lone wolf in the past, mostly because I hate waiting for others. And at any sort of festival-like event in a group setting you will have to wait for others, so usually I prefer going on my own and then bumping into manifesting friends along the way.
At Burning Man I had made up my mind to catch one of Diploās four sets. He is my favourite DJ, even though in the burner world heās a bit frowned upon (if you read the BRC newspaper youāll know what I mean). Anyways I was a tad frustrated because I was waiting on others the night he was set to be at Opulent Temple, but for the life of me, I couldnāt find the temple, and in the end friends and I parted ways and myself and friend Jesse started to head back to camp.
On the way back, I heard music that I really liked, and my friend Jesse and I followed our ears because I was certain the art car it was coming from had Diplo written all over it. We arrived at the art car, and there was a female djing, but to my delight Diplo was directly behind her, and he had just signaled to some homies the universal sign for āLetās Bounceā (rotated index finger in the air). I went to the art car exit, and low and behold my favourite Dj was right beside me. Hereās what happened:
Me: Hey, Can I have a hug? (This is Burning Man, who can say no to a hug?)
Diplo: Ya Sure. Cool hat.
Diplo: Ya, you look like a Chinese Queen. (hug ends)
Me: Thanks, Iām from Toronto and Iā¦.uhhh (he was no longer paying any attention to me)
But thatās ok, you know why? Because my friend Jesse was there beside me and he witnessed the whole interaction. And if I was lone wolfing it, I wouldnāt have anyone to share that experience with. And Iām glad I do.Ā
Eye contact, really listening, and digging deeper is what forms lasting bonds and memories.
This makes you vulnerable though. But Burning Man is a safe place to really be vulnerable.
8. You can do whatever you want
And you should. Whoās stopping you? At Burning Man there is no schedule, no bedtime, no obligation and no end to possibilities.Ā
9. The desert isnāt always hot
Sometimes itās freezing cold.
Life lesson: thereās exceptions to everything.
Never say never. Forever is a long time. Things change, people change.
You just gotta roll with it I guess, and definitely get yourself a fleece lined hippie sweater like I did on Ashbury before heading into the burn. Literally saved my life.
Do, make, try all the things, feel, climb, swing, create, collaborate.
Build a roller rink, or skate park, talk to God, get taken away on a bumblebee art car. Get caught in a dust storm. Live, Laugh, Love right?
Burning Man is not a spectator sport.
Thanks for reading, itās ok if you didnāt. I still love you, unconditionally.Ā