loser

they say you can't always get what you want, but i never got what i want, not the things that actually matter

more than just eating the food i like or buying the things i want or doing things freely, i crave love

to be loved to the ends of the earth? to be fought for? to be chosen again and again? to live in peace and not in a constant state of questioning my worth? to feel content instead of feeling numb because being not enough is all i've ever known?

why can't i ever be good enough for love? why am i cursed to love and not loved in return?

why do i always have to be the disposable one?

why is it that i'm always the clingy one? the obsessive one? the "we'll be together forever" one? the "if you leave, i might kill myself" one?

i want— no, need someone to match my freak. there's no room to question the other leaving because we're all we need from eachother! you're mine and i'm yours. it's not just a fact, it's a promise.