airline peanuts

meet cute: it's raining and I see your battered bleeding body lying in the mud and I kick it slightly to see if you're dead

I love uninstalling shit. Get out of my computer.

We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky

jeef berky

Oh great, I'm getting taxed for that now?

The slight grin looks like he got back from mediation and scored a more favorable custody agreement, the eyes say he wants nothing more than to have his old life back.

you can get shockingly far just by giving people things

wait hold on.

apparently this is called bribery

The high's starting to wear off. Someone shoot another billionaire CEO

Jesus fucking Christ this thing jump scared me.

Given their usual speed, it would likely be a highlight of this beasts entire life to know it had ever jump scared someone.