I tried to match my background to my lips

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

reblog the cherry pie to be ok

The cherry pie worked for me and here’s to hoping it’ll work for you too

Get out of him

List of words containing “meow”: meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner

Seeing zookepers having fun really warms my heart for inexplicable reasons :-)

THOSE OTTERS

^^^ I’m DYING!! This is the best possible thing to come out a Jurassic Park Remake!

favourite internet phenomenon 

when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

LMFAOO

This shit has me dying still

RIP Deedee Mega Doo Doo 😔

During the 1980s, more gay men died in New York City during the AIDS crisis than all recorded deaths of American soldiers in Vietnam. You need to know that.

……… mint chocklet chip

forbidden snack

girls writing poetry are always like “i fed my blood to the coyotes i reached inside of myself and tore out my own lungs” and i’m always like damn u good? Mood tho

men writing poetry be like “cigarettes”

men writing poetry be like “she made me feel an emotion”

this is a lot

that baby/young elephant is so cute I love animals

Don’t ignore the baby.

Elephants are so precious ✨

I love him

I like how half of these people reacting are drunk.

tag yourself I’m the guy with the rubiks cube that just starts screaming

also yeah the best feature tumblr has (or lacks, i guess) is the inability to see other people’s follower count. not knowing how many followers anyone has makes this site more fun it’s easier to pretend we’re all just like, hanging out in a cave together.

It’s funny how some people don’t realize like. When I was in elementary school every year we had “intruder” drills. They were always kinda spooky but I never thought anything of it when I was a kid. The teacher would turn the light off and lock the room doors and we’d all have to quietly hide under desks until the intercom announced it was over. Sometimes there’d be someone walking around and trying the doors to the classrooms to make sure they were locked. Never seemed strange to me as a kid, but talking with my canadian spouse they look mortified

It’s wild how much of life in the US revolves around the unending threat of murder and violence. And by wild I mean a nightmare.