heretic pride

It's my 15 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

so she’s got this long blonde hair that is always perfectly coiffed early 2000s style. long and straight and sandy blonde, down to the middle of her back. she comes right before me alphabetically so we’re seated right by each other all the time, ever since seventh grade.

one day our senior year she comes wandering in the classroom door singing “the joker,” you know the one, the steve miller band classic, really love your peaches wanna shake your tree steve miller band, and she’s smiling as she takes the seat right in front of me and shakes out her hair and again; early 2000s, herbal essences shampoo all day and all night with some kind of bath and body works spray on top or something. the gap? victoria’s secret? who knows!

unfortunately the tree she went on to shake is that of a certified douchebag with resting bitchface who looks like the tumor-riddled offspring of a turtle and a naked mole rat. they have two little girls who (thank god) look like their mother.