avanti

what the actual fuck happened

my mayor got nervous

You kiddos have no idea how groundbreaking this was. Like there’s a reason THE lesbian website for a billion years was called After Ellen. She changed everything.

oh man you know that feeling that’s like kind of an ache right between your heart and your stomach? like nostalgic knowing of pain? that’s how the scared look in Ellen’s eyes makes me feel.  

Look at her hand too and how nervous she is. Every gay and lesbian person knows this feeling, because we know there are assumptions and consequences and there’s no telling how someone will react.

And let no one forget that she suffered consequences for this. It wasn’t just a moment of cathartic unburdening and then business as usual.

Right, she lost her first TV show. She worked hard to get up to where she is today.

You can see the moment where she’s like “I can’t just like and make up a name. I can’t just pretend that the person I felt a deep connection with doesn’t exist.”

My kink: not having to set alarm for the next morning

So apparently I just picked up an $8,000 organ off of the curb

The few seconds before I realized you meant the instrument were terrifying

who was the fool who was tasked with naming the galaxy and the only adjective they could think of was ‘mmmmmmmmmmmmilky…’

scientist: (gazing up at space)  scientist: ……….. it sure is a milky boy 

okay i’m glad you mentioned the biologist nonsense bc their naming methods are the bane of my existence

BHAHAHA THE JUMP!

“Oh what a scary predator!  You really scared Mama!  Good job!”

I can’t stop laughing at this

Thing is she’s doing this to encourage her cub, you can tell she knows they’re there bc she looks over there before getting up and pretending to looks somewhere else, jumping when the kid tries to scare her

eden’s patron, leaning flirtily towards neil: damn boy what that mouth do andrew, not looking up from his phone: lie

headcanon: since meeting ant man, no one dares to fuck with spider man cause they think he can control spiders and fuck that tbh. he defeats villains by threatening to order spiders to infest their house,, his success rate is 100%, new york is crime-free in less than a month,

it was bold of me to assume he wouldnt actually do this in canon,

we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise :)

Honestly, tea. I’ve lived here my whole life and I have never once known what my total is gonna be at the register. Total fucking mystery.

im an ex-american living in new zealand for the past two years and it still never fails to blow my mind that i can take a $2 coin, walk up to a counter with two $1 items, and perform the expected transaction

this callout is completely deserved