GIVE ME 2 MORE YEARS / LET ME KNOW IF YOURE HIRING

developing the hots for ryan gosling because of project hail mary is so fucking embarrassing I swear to god. that is a conventionally attractive man. a noted hollywood heartthrob. he's even blond, are you kidding me? did he win people magazine's sexiest man alive? I don't know. I'm not going to check but it wouldn't surprise me at this point. it's such a mainstream taste. such a clichéd celebrity crush. like oh I fancy ryan gosling and my favourite drink is coca-cola and my favourite snack is ready salted crisps. jesus christ. 'b-b-but i only like him when he's in a science pun tshirt and playing a dorky-awkward loner type!' doesn't matter. he's still ryan 'ken from barbie' gosling. it's so trite. I feel like the weird nerd girl in a teen coming-of-age romcom falling for the super popular jock. don't I know that I have a reputation to uphold here? cringe.

if you're really chill about a lot of stuff, you will eventually become The Person Who Can Be Told Things and unlock a secret extra layer of knowledge about your friends

see the thing about iwtv is that i will always believe louis no matter what unless claudia says something different. then i believe claudia. lestat could tell me that it's raining during a thunderstorm and id need a peer review.

You can lie when you name things

as a cis guy, when presented with the "99% you get a ton of money, 1% you turn into a girl" it honestly would be dumb to not hit that button until it breaks. like ok now i have 100 bajillion dollars and gender dysphoria. big deal. i have all the money in the world to turn me back into a guy. like with that kind of money i could have obama do me a phalloplasty. he wouldnt be able to do it as he isnt a surgeon but the point still stands

Okay but hear me out OP, what if the button does the genie wish thing and it flips your internal experience of gender but doesn't change any of your external sex characteristics? This isn't even a gotcha, I'm just actually curious

well in that case i still end up with the "shitload of money & gender dysphoria" combo but this time obama is doing a vaginoplasty instead

#all roads lead to obama bottom surgery (via epicsause-official)

love the phrase 'methinks'. me does think. thinketh me do.

IF YOU NEED ME I WILL BE PUTTING OFF IMPORTANT TASKS AND LETTING THEM HAUNT ME

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in