GIVE ME 2 MORE YEARS / LET ME KNOW IF YOURE HIRING

so exhausted by how fundamentally anti-human the capitalist world has become. like ageing, getting fat, being slightly inefficient, and making mediocre art are all extremely normal and extremely human activities, why is every corporation trying to convince us to spend all our money fighting that

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

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I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

OP there is an entire Broadway musical explaining why you don’t want that

There’s gotta be a better way to learn about things than Broadway musicals.

He’s so shy he died

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

rice fills me with joy and happiness, but more importantly it fills me with rice

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

There are people who have kinks involving glasses and there are people who have kinks involving compression stockings, so by the Rule of Three there must be someone out there who gets hard for RSI wrist braces to complete the "aroused by assistive devices popularly associated with nerds" trifecta.

they carpal on my tunnel til i acute burning sensation

Person whose biggest fantasy is getting a handjob from someone who has a special wrist brace specifically for jerking cock because you need a different kind of support to wank someone off than you do for data entry.