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one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

"i like your tattoos" theyd look better on your bedroom floor

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

Shakespeare is like this

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

Getting high on open window air

If you ever meet someone on the internet claiming they're from the USA, watch out because they're most likely an AI bot. nobody in the US can afford an internet connection (because they're so poor) and even if they could their schools are so underfunded they couldn't even know how to use the internet

i know all advertising is evil but there's something a little offputting about the sign in the dispo that says "make moments walking the dog matter" you need to smoke weed in order to walk your dog?

"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

i'm very happy with cookie clicker's success of course but it's difficult to tell if it was a freak fluke or if there was some sort of unsuspected secret sauce at play. could i do it again. modesty aside somewhere in my hundreds of design docs for other game ideas there could be the game industry equivalent of a nuclear bomb. i must tread lightly

[lazy as shit, doesn't make anything] i.m saving the world