howdy howdy howdy

not caring if people think you're stupid is a life hack. recognising that you are kind of stupid is an even bigger life hack. we build entire societies to take care of each other bc we're all kind of stupid. it's fine.

take me down to paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are (remembers im playing at a gay bar on bear night) men

I think venus flytraps should be intelligent and ambulatory. I think they should get into the cupboards. I think they should purr when you pet them.

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

just here to say i started using this joke on middle schoolers and it completely disarms them in every situation thanks so much

what the fuck do you mean “overstimulated” I acted like that because I absorbed all the noises and stress and textures from the grocery store because I’m an empath

being on tumblr desktop version is so fucking funny like girl i’m bloggin’

"oh mein gott" destroyed germany, "woa mama mia cunt" destroyed italy, and "naur" destroyed australia. who is next?

bold of you to assume i can comprehend the words that are said even to this day

as soon as hozier says “she’s the giggle at a funeral” my vision greys out and i wake up 4 hours later in a church garden, shovelling handfuls of dirt into my mouth

happens to the best of us

Just passed a group of teenage girls walking downtown.... wearing cargo pants and platform crocs.... nature really is healing......

the kudzu consumes us all