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Elliott sat hunched forward, eyes fixed on the ring in his fingers, he slid it off and onto his finger slowly, most days he didnât even wear it anymore. how could a marriage built on love be tested like this? he didnât know and you didnât have the answer either but he was watching it fall apart right before him.
he remembered the vows you both had said to one another
â⌠to love you to the end of my days, to grow with you and not apart, to make my accomplishments ours, and your challenges mine, and to love you deeply and honestly.â
each word feeling heavier than the last. he could still picture you standing across from him, your hands trembling in his, tears threatening to spill while you laughed through them. you had looked at him as though there wasnât a place on earth you would rather be. back then, he had believed nothing could touch what the two of you had built.
he stared at the ring. his thumb brushed over the inside where your wedding date had been engraved. for a moment, it was just him, the ring, and the memory of a life that suddenly felt impossible to reach. his heart ached in the worst way possible. it wasnât the kind of pain that came from exhaustion. this settled deep in his chest and refused to leave.
he was hurting and somehow he knew you were hurting even more. he hated himself for that. because no matter how many people told him deployment was hard on every couple, no matter how many stories he had heard about marriages surviving months or years apart, he couldnât stop thinking that this was his fault.
he had chosen this. he had looked you in the eyes and promised that the distance would never come between the two of you and now it had. he remembered your last night together painfully clear.
fresh tears welled in your eyes. he felt it instantly the subtle shake of your body, the warm wet streak down your cheek and he buried his face in your neck with a tight inhale, arms wrapping tighter around your back
"No baby... please" he breathed, "Don't cry, not now. I'm going to be okay. I promise you. I'll come home."
you let the tears fall, wet and hot against your cheek
he kissed the corner of your eye, then your cheek, then down to your jaw.
"I'll come back safe alright?" he murmured, nuzzling close. "you're all I want. I'll still love you, just like this. just as much. more. I'll write, I'll call, I'll do anything and everything. no time, nothing's going to change that."
you sniffled into his neck, voice trembling as you whispered, "I know Elliott..." your hands gripped at his back desperate, not letting go.
"but I just love you so much" you breathed
his whole body softened against yours, the slow twitch of his cock inside, still in your filled pussy. he held you tighter. kissed your cheek again, over and over, until the tears became messy between both of you and neither knew whose they were
"I know" he whispered, "and I love you."
he had whispered every promise he could think of and he had believed every word. now he wasnât sure how he could stand by his vows when he felt like he had already failed you as a husband. a husband was supposed to be there. he was supposed to know when you had a bad day. he was supposed to see you at your worst and still love you unconditionally. he was supposed to hold your hand during dinners and complain about grocery shopping and help fold laundry that never seemed to end. but instead, he existed through letters and pictures sent back and forth because it was easier than admitting how lonely you both were.
he missed the ordinary parts of loving you. he missed waking up and seeing your side of the bed empty because you had already gotten up. he missed hearing you hum. he missed the way you would reach for his hand without thinking about it. the little things had become the things he missed most.
he sucked in a shaky breath, the air felt heavy. he looked around once. then twice. the others were busy. conversations drifted in the distance, muffled. no one was paying attention to him.
good. he wasnât sure he could handle anyone seeing him like this. his father had always told him that some things stayed private. that men carried their burdens quietly, that people looked to them for strength. he had spent years convincing himself that strength meant keeping everything inside.
but you had never believed that. the first time you had seen him cry had been after the funeral of a close friend of his.
he remembered sitting in the driverâs seat of his car, unable to move. you hadnât asked questions, you hadnât told him to calm down. you simply waited. he lasted thirty seconds before he broke. afterwards, embarrassed, he apologized.
you had frowned at him. âFor what?â
âFor⌠this.â
you reached over and took his hand. âCrying doesnât make you any less of the man I fell in love with.â
he laughed bitterly. âYou might change your mind.â
âI wonât.â
âYou canât know that.â
you squeezed his hand. âElliott, trust me to carry some of the weight too.â
no one had ever said something like that to him. no one had ever made him feel like he didnât have to carry everything alone.
only you. only with you would he let himself cry.
now he was alone. his vision blurred. he stared down at the ring on his finger. the gold caught the light. he remembered how nervous he had been shopping for it. he must have walked into a dozen jewelry stores before he found one that felt right. the salesperson had asked him what he was looking for.
he answered without thinking. âSomething sheâll wear forever.â
forever. what a terrifying word. forever was easy to believe in when you were standing together in front of family and friends. it was easy when every problem could be solved by reaching across the bed and holding the other person.
forever was harder when conversations ended because time ran out, when misunderstandings sat unanswered for days or when loneliness grew into resentment before either of you realized it.
he closed his eyes. he could still hear your last phone call. you had sounded tired, more tired than usual.
âYouâve been quietâ you had said.
âI know.â
âDid something happen?â
he had said no. not because something had happened but because he couldnât find the words. he was exhausted and homesick.
he felt himself slipping further away from the life the two of you had built but he couldnât tell you that. he didnât want you carrying that burden too.
then you had gone quiet. âElliottâŚâ
âYeah?â
âI feel like Iâm losing you.â
his chest tightened. âYou arenât.â
âBut I donât know whatâs going on in your life anymore.â
he had looked at the floor. âI donât know whatâs going on in yours either.â
the silence that followed had hurt more than any argument.
âI donât want to lose you Elliott.â
god, neither did he. he covered his face with one hand. the first tear slipped free before he could stop it. then another. his breathing became uneven. months of guilt and loneliness came crashing down all at once. he cried quietly not because he was weak but because he missed his wife.
âIâm sorryâ he whispered into the empty air. he wasnât even sure who he was talking to. you. himself? maybe both.
his shoulders shook. âIâm sorry I donât know what to say anymore.â the words sounded small.
âIâm sorry if I made you think I stopped loving you.â
the thought alone was unbearable because the truth was so painfully simple. he still loved you. he loved you enough that losing what you had built felt like losing part of himself.
he sat there for a long time. he looked up and realized the world around him hadnât changed, the distant voices were still there, the sky looked the same. he looked down at the wedding band still resting on his hand. sowly, he turned it once around his finger. the tears fell hot against his cheeks. he squeezed the ring tightly in his palm until the edges dug into his skin, welcoming the sharp sting. it was easier to focus on that than the ache in his chest.
his other hand came up to cover his mouth, muffling the choked breaths that kept escaping him. he had spent so long holding everything together. for everyone else, for the people around him. especially for you.
every call, every message, every strained conversation, he had forced a smile into his voice because he thought that was what a husband was supposed to do. you already carried enough worry. the last thing he wanted was for you to hear the fear in him. so he lied, he said everything was fine. and maybe that was where he had gone wrong.
deep down, in the quiet place he refused to acknowledge, he hoped you were still his. it was a selfish thought.
you were not something to own, you were the woman he had fallen hopelessly in love with. the woman who had stood across from him and promised forever. he hoped you still slept on his side of the bed when the nights got lonely. he hoped you still kept the framed wedding photo on the dresser. he hoped, hoped so many things. but hope left room for doubt. What if you had stopped wearing your ring too? what if you had moved on?
he hated that thought. he hated himself even more for thinking it. you had never given him a reason not to trust you. not once. the problem wasnât trust, the problem was distance. distance let the mind wander to places the heart never wanted to go. he let out a broken sound somewhere between a sigh and a sob.
that last night with you played in his mind constantly. you clung to him, arms coming up tight around his neck, and he dropped lower, chest now flush against yours, his weight warm as his face dipped into the crook of your neck.
your sobs broke through now, quiet and helpless, muffled into the curve of his shoulder. but his thrusts never stopped.
he thrusted into you his cock gliding through your pussy filling you up every time. he murmured into your neck, speaking the words into the wet curve of your skin between soft kisses
"I'll come back. I promise."
"I love you so much. so fucking much."
"No one else just you. always you."
you whimpered, voice shaking into his ear. "I don't want you to go..."
"I know baby" he breathed, thrusting deep again, groaning softly at the way you clenched around him. "I know."
he let your tears wet his shoulder. let your sobs shake through his body. let your pussy tighten helplessly around him with each trembling cry, your body clinging to him in every way arms, legs, pussy tight around his cock, tears soaking into his skin
the memory killed him because he wasnât sure he had been choosing you lately. more fresh tears slipped down his face.
he lowered his head. the ring was still trapped in his fist. he slowly opened his hand. the gold band rested against his palm; small, simple. it looked insignificant. and yet it carried years of memories. he would trade anything for one more normal evening. one more argument. one more chance to hear you call his name from the other room.
he missed you so much it felt impossible to breathe. he rubbed at his eyes, trying to pull himself together. the tears wouldnât stop. he was so alone. he closed his fingers around the ring one last time. his breathing finally slowed. he looked at the ring in his hand
âto grow together
to carry each otherâs burdens
to love deeply and honestly
he had forgotten the last part
to love honestly.â
and maybe honesty meant admitting he felt like he was loosing you, it also meant telling you that he still woke up every morning loving you just as much as he had the day he married you.
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summary: Jay ends up getting shot during a shootout with a murder suspect
warnings: whump, pregnancy, established relationship, marriage, gunshot, angst, crying, losing lots of blood, mention of bullets, mention of guns, mention of shootout, slight mention of abuse, slight mention of manipulation, mention of hospital, mention of surgery, mention of recovery from surgery, pet names. if i missed anything, please let me know!
word count: 2.2k+
a/n: this is my first time ever writing a whump fic, so please bare with me if this isnât the greatestđ also thank you @auroralightsthesky for proof reading this for me!
Unfortunately, Jay got called into work for the night. Voight called, explaining to him that they caught a case. Jay didnât want to go to work, but he had to. He knew that the case wasnât going to solve itself. Jay also knew that Voight needed all the help he could get since Kim and Adam were on vacation, so all that was left were him, Hailey, Kevin, and Vanessa Rojas.
âPlease be careful while youâre solving this case. Okay?â you said to Jay before he walked out of your shared room.
âI will,â Jay reassured you. He walked up to your side of the bed, planted a kiss on the top of your head, and placed a hand on your swollen belly. You were twenty-four and a half weeks pregnant with your first baby girl. You and Jay were originally planning to wait until the birth of your baby to find out the gender, but that changed. You and Jay couldnât wait any longer, so when your doctor told you that you were having a girl. You two were beyond excited. You two canât wait to meet your daughter.
âI guess it's just us now,â you said to your belly after Jay left your shared bedroom. You felt a light kick back. It felt like your baby girl heard what you said and was responding to you. The gesture made you smile.
âââ
âWhatâs the case?â Jay asked when he arrived at the location of the case. The case took place at a home. When he entered the living room of the home, he saw that Hailey and Vanessa were both examining the crime scene while Voight was walking around the house, most likely examining other areas of the house.
âHomicide,â Hailey answered. âParents were the main targets. Their daughter, Lilah was left unharmed,â she stated. âBy the looks of it, the intruder didnât even go inside her room.â
âWhereâs the girl?â Jay asked Hailey. Jay was already having certain feelings towards this case. Even though his baby girl hasnât been born yet, heâs starting to think of her. He canât imagine what emotions the little girl is feeling right now, or if she even knows whatâs going on.
âSheâs getting checked out at Chicago Med,â Rojas spoke up. âKevin is with her,â she added.
âOkay,â Jay nodded his head. âWhere exactly was the girl hiding?â He then asked them.
âShe was found in the closet,â Voight answered this time. He walked up to where Jay, Hailey, and Vanessa were standing in the living room.
Jay just nodded his head at what Voight said. He didnât have much to say due to his feelings at the moment. No one blamed him though. He had every right to feel a certain way, but he also had to keep his emotions under control. His emotions couldn't get in the way of his job.
âââ
Everyone was finally back at the station trying to figure out the case. So far, they donât have any leads. They werenât sure who could be behind this brutal murder. They were hoping that sooner or later, they could get a lead on the case.
âWhatâs the update on the case?â Voight asked when he came up the stairs after talking to Trudy.
âWe still donât have any leads or suspects,â Hailey answered. âThe only information we have is about the family, and who they are.â
âYeah, the mom, Grace, age thirty-three, worked at a local bridal shop. While the dad, Jacob, age thirty four was a history professor at Chicago State University,â Jay said as he placed the pictures of the couple on the whiteboard.
âThere has to be something,â Voight said as he looked around to everyone who was in the bullpen. âLook deep into their life. Maybe one of them had something against them, and wanted to get revenge on them. Or maybe start bringing in family members of the couple, and talk to them. Maybe one of them can give us something useful to help us solve this case,â he explained to all of them.
âGot it, boss,â Kevin was the one to answer for the group.
âââ
After two and a half hours of searching for any hard evidence that could point the team in the right direction of who was behind the murder. They finally found something. They ended up finding that the wife, Grace, had an ex-boyfriend who ended up abusive and manipulative towards her. Grace had him arrested and sent to prison for a while, but he got released a few months ago and ended up moving to Chicago. It took the team so long to find this information since it happened in a whole different state, so it was a completely different jurisdiction.
âââ
When the team arrived at Graceâs ex-boyfriend's house. Right off the bat, it went downhill. The ex-boyfriend, Michael started having a shootout with all of them. They all quickly headed back to their unmarked cars to shield themselves. While the bullets were going off though, eventually the team stood up to try to get a shot at the ex-boyfriend. When Jay decided to do that, things got even worse. Jay ended up getting hit by one of the many bullets that the ex-boyfriend was shooting off. The bullet ended up hitting him on the left side of his waist right where his bulletproof vest ends.
âOh my goodness, Jay,â Hailey shouted as she looked down next to her and saw that Jay had fallen to the ground. Hailey could feel her heart drop into her stomach. She canât believe that she just saw her work partner get shot. Hailey quickly put her gun back into her holster and crouched down next to Jay. Hailey threw off the flannel she was wearing and started to apply pressure to the wound, âJay. Itâs gonna be okay. Youâre gonna be okay. You have to fight through this. You have a daughter to meet in three months. Stay with me,â she said. Hailey had panic running through her body. Hailey grabbed her radio from her waistband. â50-21 Henry. Send me an ambulance to my location. I have an officer down. I repeat, officer down,â she spoke into her radio.
âAmbulance 61 is on the way to your location,â Hailey heard dispatch say back to her through the radio.
âThe ambulance is on their way,â Hailey said to Jay. Hailey had to keep talking to Jay, so that he would focus on her voice and not end up falling asleep. Thatâs the last thing she wanted him to do.
While Hailey was waiting for the ambulance to arrive, Vanessa and Kevin went after the ex-boyfriend. It seemed like the moment Jay got shot, that's when Michael stopped shooting at the team and took off through his backyard and through the alley that was behind his house. Hailey was hoping that the two of them would end up getting the ex-boyfriend. He deserves to go back to prison after what he just did.
âââ
It didnât take long for Gabby and Leslie to show up at the scene. Hailey was glad about that. She wasn't sure how much longer she could have applied pressure to Jayâs gunshot wound since he lost so much blood because of it.
âWe can take it from here,â Gabby said when her and Leslie approached where Hailey was. Hailey stood back up and let them do what they had to do to save Jayâs life.
âââ
You were in bed rewatching Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. You werenât quite tired, so you thought that maybe watching one of your favorite movies would help you fall asleep. While you were rewatching the movie, your phone started to ring. You quickly grabbed the remote and paused the TV. When you looked at the caller ID, you noticed that it was Chicago Med calling you. You felt panic run through your body. You didnât want to answer the phone, but you had to. You know that the only reason they could be calling is because of Jay.
âHello?â you answered the call.
âY/N, Itâs Will,â he said from the other side of the phone. You immediately knew that something was off by the way Will sounded. You could feel your heart rate start to increase. âItâs Jay,â he sighed.
âWhat happened? Is he okay?â you asked him.
âHeâs been shot, Y/N.â
You felt your heart drop into your stomach. You couldnât believe what Will just told you. You started to feel so many emotions at the same time.
âWill. Please tell me that heâs going to make it,â you pleaded. âI canât lose him. He needs to make it. He has a daughter that he needs to meet in about three months.â You could feel tears start rolling down your cheeks. You canât imagine losing Jay. He was your everything.
âWe donât know yet,â Will sighed on the other side of the phone. âHeâs still in surgery.â
âIâm coming down there.â
You didn't give Will a chance to say anything back. You hung up on him and ended up calling your closest friend, Mary, to give you a ride to Chicago Med. Without thinking twice, she was fine with taking you to Med, so that you can be there when you get any new updates about Jay.
âââ
When you entered the waiting room of Chicago Med, you saw Kevin, Vanessa, Trudy, and Hailey all sitting down. Voight was nowhere in sight. You weren't sure if he was back at the station telling the Chief what happened, or giving the person who shot your husband a hard time right now. Hailey was the one who met eyes with you though when you walked in.
âY/N,â she said when she got up from her seat.
âIs he still in surgery?â your voice cracked.
âYes,â Hailey nodded her head. âWhy don't you come and take a seat with us until we get some news on Jay?â Hailey suggested as she grabbed your hand and led you a few feet to where she and the others were sitting. You ended up taking a seat between her and Trudy. The moment you sat down, you felt Trudy grab your hand and give your hand a light squeeze. You knew she was doing it in a comforting manner, and basically letting you know that sheâs there for you.
âââ
About an hour passed when suddenly Doctor Rhodes came into the waiting room, thatâs when you sat more straight up in your chair while everyone else stood up from their seats.
âWhatâs the news, Rhodas?â Hailey was the one to ask him the question that they had been dying to ask ever since Jay went into surgery.
Connor sighed, âIt was touch and go. He did end up losing lots of blood, but thankfully, we got the bullet out,â he explained.
Everyone, including yourself, let out a sigh of relief. Granted, it was touch-and-go, and Jay lost lots of blood due to the gunshot. You were glad that he fought through it, and came out alive
âCan I go see him then?â you asked Connor.
âYes, you can,â he nodded his head.
Hailey helped you stand up from your chair. âDo you want me to walk with you to Jayâs room?â she offered.
âYes, please.â
âââ
When you walked into the room that Jay was in, he was awake and he was sitting up in his hospital bed. He noticed you walk in with Hailey.
âBaby,â he whispered loud enough for you to hear him.
The moment Jay said that pet name to you. Thatâs when you started crying again. For a split second when Jay was in surgery, you thought you would never hear him call you that name again. You were glad that Jay was right in front of you. You were glad that he gets to go home with you whenever the doctor signs off on it.
You waddled over to Jayâs hospital bed and stood next to the railing.
âIâll leave you two alone,â Hailey gave you both a light smile and walked out of Jayâs hospital room.
âThank you,â you mouthed to her before she was out of your sight.
You turned your attention back to Jay. âI was so worried that you werenât going to make it,â you sniffled. âI donât know what I would have done if the surgery didnât go well,â you shook your head.
âHey, but it did,â Jay said as he reached to hold your hand. âIâm fine,â he reassured you. âThe doctor said I can go home tomorrow morning, and I get the next two weeks off from work now, so Iâm not leaving your side anytime soon,â he gave you a comforting smile to help you ease your emotions.
âGood,â you laughed lightly.
âCome here,â Jay said as he motioned with his head, inviting you to sit in his hospital bed with him. You went ahead and sat. You instantly place your head on Jayâs shoulder. You and Jay just sat in silence. You were glad that heâs going home tomorrow morning. You know that itâs going to be rough for Jay since recovery is going to take time, but eventually heâll be back at work. For now, you get to have him all to yourself.
summary: Not the Mrs. is a bit sad from a very final diagnosis and Samâs gonna do his best to remedy that.
warnings: infertility
notes: Iâve known these two werenât having kids since I started writing them, now you do too. Feel free to let me know if there are any mistakes!
Whiskey's stretched across the dining room rug with the dishwasher humming in the background. You're standing at the sink, drying the same plate again and again as you listen to the wind chimes clink faintly through the open window in front of you.Â
Sam notices because you haven't said a word in five minutes. He's at the table with his laptop open in front of him. "You planning on polishing that into a mirror?" He asks, leaning his head on his hand, elbow on the table.Â
You glance down at the plate in your hands, sighing as you place it in the cabinet. "Shut up."Â
He watches you quietly before turning to his laptop again, looking at the screen. You've been like this all week. He closes the laptop without another comment and then stretches out his legs slightly. "You wanna talk about it? Or you wanna keep standing there staring out the window like youâre haunting the kitchen?"Â
You glance over at him, raising your brows so high itâs comical. "I am not haunting the kitchen."
"Yeah, you are." He chuckles. "All you need is a white dress and a little tuberculosis and I think you'd have it handled."
âFuck off.â You almost smile. You turn your head back down towards the sink full of dishes. "I was just thinking."Â
"Uh oh." He teases softly.
You roll your eyes and sigh, not one for it tonight. "Sam."
He pushes back from the table and stands, moving closer to you. He leans his hip against the counter and crosses his arms across his chest as he looks at you. "About what?" He asks softly.
You hesitate, but he knows. You know he knows. "I don't know." You sigh again, shrugging. "I just thought things would look different by now."Â
He nods, inhaling slowly himself as he tries to find a response. All he comes up with is, "different how?"Â
You shrug again, not looking at him. "I don't know⌠Like the house should be messier. We should be tripping over toys in the hallway or something."Â
He lets out that breath even slower now, "Whiskey leaves her toys in the hallway all the time." He offers gently. "I've almost eaten shit twice this week."
"That's not the same. You know it's not." You say sadly.
"I know." He agrees and shrugs. Silence embracing you both again as the dishwasher clicks off.Â
You tap your fingers against a glass sitting on the dish mat. "I just keep thinking that youâ weâ deserved that. And I can't really give it to you." Your voice catches in your throat, annoyingly.Â
He frowns, straightening his back as he looks at you. "Hey⌠No. Donât do that."Â
You shake your head almost immediately, "it's not self-pity, I justâ"
"It is though." He cuts you off. "And I don't like it."Â
You raise your head to meet his eyes. Dark brown and pooling with worry. He lets them scour your face, looking for any sign that you're even more upset at his words. When he doesn't find that, he continues.
"I donât stay with you for your uterus." He says it flatly.
"Wow. How romantic." You huff.
"You know what I mean." He rolls his eyes, shifting his weight slightly. He uncrosses his arms, running a hand up over his head. "Ive pictured it too. I've pictured you yelling at me about car seats. Iâve pictured stepping on toys at 2am because our hellspawn couldnât be bothered to put things away. Iâve pictured diapers and onesies and talking to your belly. All of it. Iâve pictured it, babe." He sighs, "I've also pictured losing everything else once too." He adds, a bit quieter. Then he shrugs. "And that one felt a hell of a lot more real. So if I have to pick which fantasy I'm giving up on? Easy."Â
You stare at him sadly.Â
He just shrugs. Like all of that is nothing. "I want you. I've already got the best thing. I don't need kids."Â
Your eyes start to well up before you can stop them. He can't just say shit like that.
He sees it and groans softly, head tipping back as his eyes close. "Ah shit, don't cry. I'm bad at crying. I start saying stupid shit."Â
"You're already saying pretty stupid shit." You whisper, wiping a tear from your eyes but a smile is tugging at your lips.Â
He smiles a bit as he steps closer to you, guiding you around until you're facing him. Then his hands slide around your waist and slip into the back pockets of your jeans. "You think I'm sitting around here disappointed?" He asks softly. "You think I look at you and go, damn, shame about the statistical probability of that one?"Â
You snort, though it sounds more like a cough. "You are such an asshole."Â
"Yeah, maybe." He shrugs. "But you've yet to kick me to the curb, so I guess I'm doing something right here." You press your face against his chest as he holds you, breathing in deeply. He lets you, running his hand up and down your back. After another minute or two, he exhales a breath against your hair and smiles a bit. "You know," he starts. "I used to think there was this checklist to living a happy life. My parents had one and they were the happiest people I knew."Â
You pull back slightly to look at his face, confused. "A checklist?"
"Yeah. A checklist." He nods, adjusting his arms so they're tucked up closer against you. "Figured weâd graduate. Iâd enlist. We get married and buy a house. Have some kids a few years after. Get a dog. That was our key to happiness."Â
You almost smile at him again.
"I kept thinking if we didn't follow it exactly, it meant we screwed something up. And I know, I know, i fucked the marriage thing up all to hell and then everything just started happening, the dog, the house, the cars⌠and they just kept happening until I shipped out." He says softly. Then his mouth twitches up into a smile. âBut if this is what we get? I'm okay with that. Our life is perfect just how it is."Â
Your throat tightens, and the inside of your cheek feels raw from biting at it. "I just don't want you to resent me."
"For what?!" He scoffs, "Not producing progeny that would inherit my temper and your stubbornness? Think you saved us all. That kid would've been a menace to society."Â
"Sam." You repeat.
"I'm serious." He moves one hand and tips your chin up. "I don't resent you. I look at you and I see my girlfriend. The woman who wrote me letters every week when I needed them the most. The woman who dragged me home and refused to let me rot in bed." His thumb brushes the wetness under your eye away. "That's not lacking, okay? And yeah, I'll probably always wonder what a kid of ours would've looked like or acted like. You will too. But wondering isn't the same as resenting. And besides, we've got Whiskey and she's like 2 toddlers combined."Â
Whiskey suddenly jolts awake at the sound of her name. She looks around the room, spots you and Sam. She stretches when she stands, grabs her tennis ball, and trots over with her tail wagging hard enough it thumps against the cabinets with a thwack.Â
Sam looks down at where she's sat at your feet and chuckles. "Speak of the idiot."
You let out a laugh at that, bending down to pick up the tennis ball before she shoves it into his leg. "She thinks we're being too serious."Â
"She's right. Can we stop it?" He chuckles softly. You toss the ball down the hallway. Whiskey tears after it, skidding across the hardwood as she does. Sam leans back against the counter, watching you play with Whiskey. "We're allowed to be sad about it.â He says softly. "I'm not pretending it's nothing, babe. I promise."
"I know you're not."Â
"And if that means we get to sleep in on Saturdays," He shrugs, "and take spontaneous road trips, and maybeâ I don't knowâ adopt another eighty-pound creature at some pointâŚ"Â
You raise your eyebrows as you look at him, "Another one?"Â
He nods, "go big or go home, baby. Two of those dumbasses. Double the fur. Double the expenses. We'll complain about vet bills but secretly love every bit of it."
"You'd lose your mind." You laugh softly, tucking back tear-stained hair behind your ear.
"I've already lost my mind, I live with you." Whiskey comes barrelling back down the hall then, nearly wiping out as she turns the corner. You lean into him again and he kisses the top of your head. "You're it for me." He says softly, his hand settling on your lower back as Whiskey stops in front of you.
Only now, you don't feel the burden you've been carrying around for weeks. All you feel is the love he has to share.Â
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i hate my mood so much, because tell me why iâm feeling so motivated to write something even though a few nights ago, my writing motivation was in the fucking dumpsterđ
request: Hi, I was the Anon with the Kayce ask! My request for kayce is reader being a wrangler for years and had a secret relationship w/ him then left suddenly. Years later she comes back w/ a baby on her hip. Would u be willing to do that? If not I totally understand and respect ur decision!
summary: basically what the request says :)
warnings: cuss words, angst, fluff, and pregnancy (if i missed anything, please let me know!)
word count: 2.6k+
a/n: THERE ISNâT ANY SPOILERS OF THE FIRST TWO S5 EPISODES IN THIS. also should i make this a series?? or make more fics with this dynamic couple. please let me know! also this is my first kayce request! so please, be nice to me. my yellowstone are open too! and this wasnât proofread, so iâm sorry for any grammar mistakes
You couldnât believe it. You were about to enter the place where you used to work for five years. You used to work at the Yellowstone Dutton Ranch. You worked as one of the wranglers, but that all ended. It all ended because you got pregnant. And the one that got you pregnant was Kayce, your boss's son. You two had a secret relationship while you were working on the ranch. The moment that you found out that you were pregnant. You immediately packed up your bags and left the ranch without telling anyone. You didnât want the others to find out that you were pregnant, and most definitely. Who got you pregnant, because if they did. You could be in deep trouble. So thatâs why you left, but little did you know. When Kayce found out the next day. He was upset. He didnât know what to do without you. He hoped you would come back again someday and explain why you left without telling anyone. And that someday is today.
âHere goes nothinâ, you sighed to yourself. You took your car out of park and drove through the entrance of the ranch. The moment you started driving through the entrance of the ranch. You felt your heart start to beat very fast, and you even felt your palms start becoming sweaty against the steering wheel. You had so many things running through your head right now. You werenât sure how Kayce and even John were going to react to you being back at the ranch and even having a baby on your hip.
When you finally reached the house. You parked your car and got out. You grabbed your daughter from the backseat and took her out of her car seat, and placed her on your hip. While you were walking up to the house. You noticed Kayce's truck and even Johnâs truck were parked outside. You were now even more nervous than you were when you first arrived because you know that the moment you knock on the front door. Youâre going to face Kayce or either John, or either of the both of them.
You walked up the steps and to the front door of the house. You raised your free hand to knock on the door. You were waiting there anxiously for the door to be opened. The moment the door opened. You were face to face with Kayce.
âOh my goodness,â Kayce said. He was surprised that he could barely get any words out of his mouth. He couldnât even gather the fact that you were standing right in front of him. For the majority of the past year and a half. He thought that you left Montana and never looked back, but here you are. Back at the ranch where you used to work, and the same place that you called home. Another thing he couldnât even gather was the fact that you had a baby on your hip.
âUh- can we talk? please,â you asked him nervously.
âYeah,â Kayce nodded. He moved out of the way, so then you could enter the house. Once you entered the house, he closed the door behind you. Then he walked towards the living room and you followed right behind him.
âPlease sit,â He motioned towards one of the couches when you walked into the living room. You took a seat on the couch, and you set your daughter down on the ground right in front of your feet. Kayce sat down on the opposite side of the couch that you were sitting on.
âUh- I donât even know how to explain everything,â you said, as you started to play with the promise ring that was on your finger. The promise ring was a gift from Kayce. You received the ring as a fourth-anniversary present. You still canât believe that you still wear the ring on your finger. After everything that happened, you should have taken it off, but you just couldnât.
âWell, you could explain why you decided to pack up your things and left without telling anyone. Or you could explain why youâre back here with a baby,â Kayce stated. His voice sounded cold and angry.
âWell, the whole reason why I left was because I got pregnantâŚa-and I-Iâm back here with a baby because I thought it was a good idea to finally come back, so then you could finally meet our daughter,â you said, as you turned your head towards Kayceâs direction. All of a sudden you noticed that he had a soft look in his eyes. You were now hoping his voice wasnât cold and angry anymore after what you just said to him.
âWait. Our daughter?â
âYeah,â you nodded. You had tears starting to form in your eyes. After you said that, you were regretting leaving in the first place. Kayce shouldn't be meeting his daughter in this type of way. He should have met her the moment she was born. The moment when she was placed on your chest.
âIâm gonna need a minute,â Kayce said, as he got up from the couch and walked away toward the kitchen.
âOkay,â you nodded. âIâll be here when you get back.â You picked up your daughter from the floor and placed her back on your hip.
When Kayce walked into the kitchen. He walked in and immediately made eye contact with his father since he was in there. He was pouring coffee into his coffee cup. Kayce was now wondering if his father heard the whole conversation that went down in the living room not too long ago.
âSon, do you want to explain to me who you were just talking to, in the living room?â Also explain to me while you were talking to that someone, I heard them say, âour daughter?â
âFuck,â Kayce whispered under his breath. He was mad that his father heard the whole conversation that he had with you. He was now going to have to explain to his father the truth and how he technically just found out today that he has been a father for at least a year now. âUh- I was talking to Y/N.â
âY/N? As in, Y/N Y/L/N? The one that used to work on the ranch?â John questioned his son.
âYes,â Kayce nodded. âAnd the whole reason why you heard her say to me, âour daughterâ is because of the looks of it. I got her pregnant.â
When those words came out of Kayceâs mouth. John didnât even know what to say, or how to react. The only thing he knew was that he was technically a grandfather now, and his son was a father. There was just quietness in the air. Kayce didnât like that. He wanted his father to say something to him about what he just said.
âDad? Arenât you going to say anything about what I just told you?â Kayce asked him.
John put his coffee cup on the kitchen counter and faced toward where Kayce was standing. âSon, what do you want me to say?â
âUh- I donât know. Anything, to be honest,â He shrugged his shoulders.
âWell, I guess I could say that Iâm pretty okay with the situation. ButâŚit just upsets me that you were going behind my back and started to date her, and even gotten her pregnant. And you know how I feel when you or either your siblings go behind my back and do something,â John explained.
âHow do you think I feel?â Kayce said. âIâm upset because obviously when she found out she was pregnant she just decided to leave and not say anything to anyone or anything, or even explain how she and I were about to become parents for the first time.â
All John could do was put his head down, and look down at his feet. He couldnât bear the fact that his son was angry and even upset with the whole situation.
âWhat should I do, dad? Should I tell her to leave and never look back? Or should I start over with her?â
John looked up from the ground and looked at Kayce. âWhat you should do is start over with her. Get to know the whole story about why she left without an explanation, and get to know your daughter. Especially find out what her name is, and exactly how old she is at the moment.â
âOkay,â Kayce nodded. He walked out of the kitchen and back to the living room where you were at. When he walked in, he saw you were still sitting in the same spot as you were when he first left to go to the kitchen, and he even saw that you had your daughter on your hip again.
âSo? Is everything okay?â
âYeah. Everything is okay. My dad was in the kitchen when I walked in, so I explained to him about who I was talking to, and how by the looks of it. I got you pregnant,â Kayce explained.
âOmg. What did he say? Is he mad about this? Because if he is, I can leave and never come back, and we can all forget that this ever happened,â you said, as you stood up and were about to walk to the front door and head out with your daughter.
âNo he isnât mad about this,â Kayce reassured you.
âOh,â you said as you sat back down on the couch. You put your daughter on the floor right in front of you, just like you did earlier when you arrived at the house. âWell, what did he say about this then?â
âWell, he told me that heâs okay with this situation. But on the other hand, heâs upset that I was going behind his back, and started to date you, and then, of course, ended up getting you pregnant,â Kayce explained. âAlso speaking of me getting you pregnant, why did you leave after you found out?
You couldnât even look Kayce in the eyes. You could tell by the tone of Kayceâs voice. He wasnât happy at all. You took a deep breath and said, âI left after I found out because I didn't want anyone to find out about it, because if anyone did. Then I would start getting questions about who got me pregnant. Plus, I didnât want anyone to find out the truth about you and me.â
âWhy didnât you tell me? We could have figured something out.â
âI donât know,â you shook your head. âI panicked and I thought the right option was to leave and not say anything. But now, I regret doing that. I regret not telling you about how we were going to become parents for the first time, and I regret not having your dad know the truth about us. Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry for not telling you. I messed up badly.â
Kayce scooted closer to where you were sitting on the couch, and put his two hands on your cheeks to stop you from rambling. âHey. Look at me.â You looked at him, and when you did. Kayce noticed that you started to form tears in your eyes. It broke his heart. He always hated seeing you upset in any type of way. âItâs okay. I promise.â
âSo, youâre not mad or anything like that?â you asked.
âNo,â He shook his head. He took his hands off your cheeks. âJust a little upset, but Iâll get over it real soon. I promise. Also, I have two questions to ask you.â
âOkay,â you nodded. âWhat are the two questions?â
âThe first question is can we start over? And Is it possible that I can get to know who my daughter is?â Kayce asked.
âOf course,â you smiled. You picked up your daughter from the floor. She was just chewing on her fingers when you picked her up. âKayce, this is our daughter Sarah Elizabeth Dutton.â
âSheâs so cute,â Kayce said.
âShe is, she isnât,â you smiled down at her.
âAlso how old is she?â
You looked up and looked at Kayce, âSheâs one year old.â
âWow,â Kayce said. âNext thing you know sheâll be two years old.â
âYeah,â you nodded. âThat just shows that time flies.â
âYes. It does,â Kayce agreed.
âI have a question for you now,â you said.
âWhat is it?â
âDo you want to hold our daughter?â you asked him.
âYes,â Kayce nodded.
You handed Sarah to Kayce. Kayce took her from your arms, and set her on his lap. Sarah didnât get fussy about how she wasnât sitting in her momâs lap anymore. But of course, that was a good thing though. While he was holding her, Sarah kept on babbling. You and Kayce didnât even know what she was babbling about, but you two thought it was the cutest thing ever. Since she was babbling, and talking. You had the perfect question to ask her. âSarah. Can you say âDadaâ?â
Surprisingly not too long after you asked her that question. You and Kayce both heard her say, âDada.â The moment Kayce heard that word. He started crying. He wasnât crying because he was upset or anything like that. He was crying because he was happy. He was happy that his daughter said the word âDada.â
âOmg! She actually said it, Kayce. She said âDadaâ, you said happily.
âYes. She did.â
--- --- ---
Itâs been about two hours since you came over to the Dutton Ranch and explained everything to Kayce. After you were able to get Sarah to say âDada.â You and Kayce were able to catch up on everything, Plus, on top of that, John was able to get to meet his granddaughter. He was happy about that.
âOne last question. I promise,â Kayce said to you. He was pretty nervous to ask you the question that he's about to ask you, but since you and he have both officially agreed to get back together and raise Sarah with each other and be a family. In the end, the question is going to make perfect sense.
âWhat is it?â
âWell, I know that we technically havenât been back together for not even an hour yet, but I was wondering, do you move in and live with me?â Kayce asked you.
âYes. Of course,â you nodded. âBut what about all of my stuff? Everything I have is back at my apartment.â
âLetâs worry about that later. Okay?â
âOkay,â you nodded.
âFor now, letâs just focus on us, and on our daughter who is sleeping peacefully in my arms right now,â Kayce leaned down and kissed the top of Sarahâs forehead. Kayce couldnât get over how adorable Sarah was. He loved how much she looks like him. He was hoping that his mom was smiling down at him and being proud that heâs a father.
âI think sheâs going to become your little sidekick when she gets older,â you commented.
âI think so,â Kayce agreed.
The sight in front of you was making your heart melt. You couldnât get over how happy Kayce looked holding Sarah. The look in his eyes was just filled with happiness and love. You were glad that you decided to come back to the ranch. You still werenât happy with yourself about the decision you made when you did find out you were pregnant with Sarah, but thatâs all in the past now. The only thing that matters now, was that you and Kayce were back together and that you and he were going to be able to raise your daughter as a couple.
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i have officially decided to close my request. i donât know how long they will be closed. it just depends since i havenât been doing well mentally. plus, i just have too much going on at the moment. and also my writing just has been down in the dumps lately. but my ask box is still open for anything else!â¨đŠľ
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