Several Bad Puns Later

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

SPONGEBOB…

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair

this is extremely concerning and also very reassuring, thank you and please stop bringing pythons onto public transportation 

i’m in your walls eating the wood faster than the termites and giving them self esteem issues

@cynicalkittycat

Fuck! I can’t stop thinking about him

hey bro hit this *passes you a caterpillar in a leaf*

*gives it a little kiss and passes it to the next person*

damn you could really just fucking say anything back in the day, huh?

you can say anything now this reads exactly like a modern day shitpost on tumblr.com

hold on i gotta make a post

Wow.. she has such a way with worms…