Purble

listening to a man break up with his partner on the train and the first sentence I heard was "I just don't appreciate you cheating on me six different times, once with my own father."

op are you a hobbit

You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird

I resent just how fucking accurate this shitpost is, congratulations OP, you effectively illustrated how Darwin’s Theory of Natural Selection became accepted by the wider public using a FUCKING MUPPETS MEME, here is your A+, get the hell out of my office

Working in retail be like

there's a group of high school boys in this McDonald's and I just heard one of them say "I bet you you cannae break your own arm" so something interesting might happen shortly

update: they are settling the bet by googling whether or not it's possible for a person to deliberately break their own arm. narratively this is a letdown but I suppose in other ways it's for the best