I feel personally attacked I’ve actually said this before ew why
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@llost-highway
I feel personally attacked I’ve actually said this before ew why

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im the gay couple
Tryna cuddle bae
YAAAAAAAAAAS

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You gotta see the reaction when this German Shepard realizes his owner isn’t behind him…
that was so intense
where is her oscar I’m shaken
disney’s gonna release the live-action little mermaid movie and the director’s gonna do an interview for teenvogue where he says the crab sebastian is gay and everyone’s gonna laud it as the most woke moment of 2019 and a horde of 21-35 year old women on tumblr will draw human aus where he’s a young white redhead and he and king triton are fuckin’
customer: hi how are you today
me:

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“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut
Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this
I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing
so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?
So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”
Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.
BALTIMORE—Saying the simple practice was hugely beneficial for staving off aches and pains later in life, a report released Wednesday by Johns Hopkins University found that suddenly remembering to sit up straight once a month is the best way to keep a back healthy into old age. “Our research determined that the ideal method for achieving lasting back health is to remember seemingly out of nowhere to correct your posture at a random moment during the day, involuntarily resume slouching after a few minutes, and then repeat the process within the next four weeks or so,” said lead author Jackson Hartig, adding that neither strengthening exercises nor stretching routines were even remotely as helpful. “Those who suddenly remember to sit up straight less often than once a month can expect to deal with chronic discomfort as they grow older, while people who rarely if ever have those spontaneous moments of awareness will likely have to contend with agonizing muscle spasms and a pronounced hunch from middle age until death.” Hartig went on to say that the sitting up must be prompted unconsciously and that deliberate reminders such as a sticky note taped to a computer monitor at work had no effect whatsoever.
bye gracie!

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This is the fuckin funniest thing I’ve read all day
i mean does she want an actual answer ooorrr
You guys are forgetting the best part:
just fucking kill me already