My little lonely world

Love Language (stolitzweek)

What if Stolas and Octavia made plans to watch the solar eclipse together on Earth to make up for not seeing Azathoth's tears? And maybe Octavia suddenly suggested inviting Blitzø and Loona over as well, since they were all together that other time, too?

And when Blitzø sees the awkward text from Stolas inviting them (I'd understand if you're busy or would rather not come, but Octavia seemed keen on the idea of seeing Loona again), he isn't sure he wants to go, because things with Stolas have been so weird lately, and he's deeply in denial about the feelings they have for one another. But Loona kicks him in the butt about it because he's being stupid, and so he reluctantly texts Stolas trying to sound as nonchalant as possible (shur y nut, portal plz) while freaking out inside.

And he doesn't know what he was expecting as he crossed that portal, but a mountaintop above the clouds is definitely not it.

“Thank you for coming,” Stolas says, and Blitzø can't help but notice the way Stolas bows to him—and then he pushes that information aside, not knowing what to do with it. “I hope the localisation is fine, and not too cold. Anywhere else would've been too crowded.”

“It's whatever,” Blitzø shrugs, and hates the way some of the light leaves Stolas' smile. He's only been here for half a minute and he's already messed things up.

Next to them, Octavia is explaining the intricacies of solar eclipses in detail to Loona. Absent-mindedly, Blitzø notices the way Loona softens around Via, but keeps it to himself, not wanting to be kicked in the nuts. Instead, he looks around for a semi-comfortable stone and plops down on it, wincing when Stolas sits carefully by his side.

He's searching desperately for something to say when Stolas announces, “Look up, everyone, it's about to start!”

At first, Blitzø notices nothing. Well, nothing but the mild discomfort of staring directly at the sun.

But then he sees it. The moon—a corner of it, anyway—overtaking the powerful star. And, for a second, he can't breathe.

Of course, the partial eclipse lasts long enough that conversation sparks up again, though awkward and sporadic. Stolas asks about work, Via talks about the moon's mountains. Blitzø tries to quieten the voice that says he doesn't deserve to be here.

But when the total eclipse nears, they're all too entranced to talk. As darkness washes over the sea of clouds below them, the seconds seem to slow, and each of his heartbeats thrums through him, echoing in the ground underneath him. He's one with the earth and the sky, and, when it all goes dark, the whole universe stops breathing with him to experience this.

He only remembers to breathe when, in the complete darkness, he feels thin, long fingers curling around his own.

Too entranced to remember all the reasons why he's not allowed to want this, Blitzø squeezes Stolas' hand firmly back.

They are one. Of course they are. How could they not be, when the sun and the moon themselves are?

It's less than two minutes before the sunlight begins regaining its territory and washing away the darkness, but it might as well be a lifetime.

A lifetime he spends with Stolas' hand clasped firmly in his own, surrounded by their daughters, marvelling at the vastness of the universe. Feeling like, maybe, they're all insignificant enough to deserve all the love they can find.

But, inevitably, the moment passes and reality settles back in.

Blitzø sat in bed staring up at the ceiling when he heard a knock at the door. It opened a crack and Fizzarolli poked his head inside.

“Fizz!” Blitzø beamed at Fizzarolli.

“Hey,” Fizzarolli looked around the room. “Is this an ok time?”

“Of course,” Blitzø waved him over. “I sent Loony home to get a proper night’s rest. And Stolas… Actually. I don’t know where Stolas is.” He shrugged.

Fizzarolli closed the door behind him and pulled up a chair by the bed.

“Oz caught him in the hall.” Fizzarolli sat down and made himself comfortable. “Said he had something to discuss with him.”

Blitzø raised an eyebrow.

Fizz waved it off.

“Doesn’t matter. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Mmk.”

They sat in awkward silence for a time.

Blitzø cleared his throat.

“You look good, Fizz.” He smiled warmly at him.

“You’ve definitely looked better.”

“What? You’re not digging the pharaoh mummy look?” Blitzø pantomimed tossing back voluminous tresses over his shoulders. “Not into head bandages?”

Fizzarolli averted his gaze.

“Not a fan of hospitals.”

Blitzø cringed. “F*ck… I’m sorry… I didn’t me-“

Fizzarolli waved him off. “Really not a fan of seeing people I love, hurt.” He looked down at his hands in his lap.

Blitzø reached his hand out as far as his IV would allow, trying to reach out to Fizz.

Fizzarolli noticed and looked up to meet Blitzø’s gaze.

“Thank you for being here, Fizz.”

Fizzarolli smiled sadly and took Blitzø’s out-stretched hand. “I wasn’t gonna let anyone keep us apart this time.”

Blitzø grinned and fought back tears.

They sat in comfortable silence for a time, holding hands, enjoying this moment. One that had been long overdue.

Blitzø tried to fight it, but a yawn managed to escape.

“You’re tired. I’ll let you rest.”

No…

Fizzarolli went to stand but Blitzø gripped his hand tighter.

Please don’t go…

“Would you stay?” He looked at Fizz, pleading. “Like when we were kids?”

Fizzarolli thought for a moment, then he slid his hand out from Blitzø’s.

“Oh… Right..” Blitzø’s heart clenched, tears welled up in his eyes and he looked away. “You’ve got to get home…”

A moment later the lights in the room turned off, and Blitzø looked back to see Fizz standing by his bed.

“You’re going to have to move over if we’re both going to fit.”

I f*cking hope he can’t see me crying in the dark…

Blitzø scooted as far over as he could and Fizz climbed under the covers on the other side of the bed.

They both shifted until they lay on their sides facing each other.

They chuckled awkwardly.

“Well. Haven’t done this in a hot minute.”

Fizzarolli snickered. “Nope.”

Blitzø noticed Fizz was still wearing his jester hat.

“Aren’t you going to take that off?” He asked off-handedly.

Fizzarolli froze and buried his face in his hands.

Blitzø’s heart jumped into his throat.

“Fizz?”

Fizzarolli looked at Blitzø, silent tears streaming down his face.

“Fizz?! What is it?” Blitzø could feel something was very wrong.

“Blitzø…” Fizzarolli shuddered a sigh.

“Whatever it is…” Blitzø reached out to take his hand.

Fizzarolli covered his face with one hand, shook his head and held up a finger - telling Blitzø to hold on.

“You’re f*cking scaring me, Fizz…”

Fizzarolli sat up. Blitzø propped himself up on an elbow.

“I’ve only ever let Asmodeus see me without this,” Fizzarolli touched his hat.

Blitzø raised an eyebrow.

“But it’s a part of who I am,” he swallowed hard. “And I think I need to be ok letting others get close enough to see… EVERY broken part of me.”

“You’re not broken, Fizz,” Blitzø reached out to him, but Fizzarolli shook his head.

“I know I’m not,” he took a deep breath. “But I’ve still got broken pieces…”

Fizzarolli pulled his hat off and clutched it to his chest in anguish. He couldn’t bear to look at Blitzø.

Blitzø shot upright.

This is MY fault…

“F*ck.. Fizz… I’m so f*cking sorry…”

Fizzarolli started to cry all over again. He tried to hide his face and put his hat back on, but Blitzø grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re f*cking amazing, Fizz.” Blitzø clutched him tightly. “And don’t worry… Your horns will ALWAYS be bigger than mine.”

The two cried themselves to sleep that night in the same position they’d always slept in as little kids: curled up, touching foreheads and holding hands.

***

Stolas and Asmodeus stood in the doorway to Blitzø’s room and watched Fizzarolli and Blitzø sleep.

“Is this something I need to be worried about?” Stolas whispered to Asmodeus.

Asmodeus smirked and shook his head. “I ain’t.” He looked at Fizzarolli with such love and adoration, Stolas couldn’t help feeling like he was invading their privacy somehow.

Asmodeus looked at Stolas and squeezed his shoulder in encouragement. “I get your reticence. It’ll take time for you two to figure each other out. But I know my Fizzy.” He looked over at the boys and smiled.

“And the fact that Fizzy let Blitzø see him like this” Asmodeus cocked his head so Stolas would look where he was looking - at Fizzarolli’s exposed horns. “Means he’s trusting people again. Trusting Blitzø again. Opening himself up to the idea of family again”

Family…

Stolas’s heart ached. He wanted that kind of closeness with Blitzø. He wanted Blitzø to let him in like that.

“And if my Fizzy trusts him with that kind of vulnerability? I know you can too.” Asmodeus smiled warmly at Stolas. “Hell. I trust the idiot with Fizzy’s life. That’s gotta say something, don’t it?”

Stolas smiled meekly back at Asmodeus. “It does.”

“Good.” Asmodeus clapped him on the back, catching him off guard. Stolas tried not to squawk in surprise.

Asmodeus chuckled.

Stolas shot him a glare.

Asmodeus snorted, tried to cover his laugh, and turned into the hallway. “Let’s go. Give those two some more time to rest. They need it.”

“Yes.” Stolas followed, looking longingly over his shoulder at Blitzø, and how peaceful and content he looked sleeping there, next to Fizzarolli.

If only I could make him feel that safe…

“I suppose you’re right.”

blitzø knows he cares about the prince, he knows that it isn’t just about the grimoire for him anymore, but he’s convinced that his love is completely unrequited, because who in their right mind would like a bastard like him?

not only is stolas leagues above him in terms of social status, but in blitzø’s eyes, he also has nothing of value to add to the table as a person. he’s nothing but an asshole who has ruined lives, who doesn’t know how to build functioning relationships without fucking everything up one way or another. the only meaningful connection he has is with his daughter, and even then she had no other option, he adopted her.

whenever he sees a real, romantic bond, he instantly jumps to the sexual aspect of it- he’s seemingly weirdly interested in moxxie and millie’s relationship, especially when it comes to their bedroom life, and when he finds out that what fizz and ozzie have is genuine, he starts cracking vulgar jokes right away.

this is probably because sex is the most familiar aspect of it all for him, something even himself can obtain; which is why he sticks to that when it comes to stolas. he wants to keep their deal strictly sexual, because that makes it easy to manage. no strings attached means he won’t get hurt, and even worse, he won’t hurt the other person.

so when their dynamic starts to shift, even if to a minuscule amount, he panics and tries to forcefully stop that from happening.

we see it happening firstly during the harvest moon festival, when he stumbles through his own words in an attempt to correct striker, and then during ozzie’s, when he berates stolas at the end of the night, and then finally during OOPS, as he rants to fizz about how the owl doesn’t like him at all. nuh uh. no way in hell.

Looks like Stolas isn't the only birdbrained one

Original Comic: @L0mius

Blitz: @blitzodeathpose