(first chapter is up and a couple of takes i wrote for fun)
As it begins; (chapter 1)
_how i decided on a protagonist's name
_slight intro
_take three
_take four
Fear The Walking Dead.ೃ࿔
˻༊ *.ﾟgodspeed. troy otto
(just some oneshots im writing under the same name)
the only mercy i can offer;
brother;
(my edits).ೃ࿔
troy otto ftwd; edit 1 ; edit 2
will turner x elizabeth swann potc.
“I wonder,” said Frodo, “But I don’t know. And that’s the way of a real tale. Take any one that you’re fond of. You may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is, happy-ending or sad-ending, but the people in it don’t know. And you don’t want them to. .ೃ࿔:･☾𒀭࣪
some of my favorites 🤍 until i come just a tad bit closer to that level of writing; its okay though, we're having fun ⊹ ִֶָ
smth. about me; I've been writing since i was 15_ almost a decade has passed yet only recently i started writing in english and i still have a looong way to go, so if there's anything you wanna share with me_ opinions are always welcomed 💭
it's kind of hard honestly constantly having to look up descriptive words and no matter how much i see some and use them, it's a constant loop of forgetting_ it somehow feels more natural for me to write in english so i wanted to adapt to it naturally.
lover of photography.ೃ࿔iced coffee_ good music and choreography.. [wish i learned how to dance and play the piano] loves editing_
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well at least it's not like i've just plotted a whole chapter thanks to my 'not currently an officially classified' mental disorder called maladaptive daydreaming lol
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Not my best work, just me putting stuff on paper to sort my thoughts. Will have to go back and add more to this later.
Half assed meta analysis of my hyper fixations in hope it will help me understand them better.
@dixonssquirrel bc you wanted more of my thoughts, here's some word salad for you (view it as an appetizer)
Troy and Nick both come from abusive families.
Both seek the love of a mother, and have absent fathers, both are rejected for who they are.
Yes, Madison tries to fix Nick, whereas Troy's mother rejects him from the start, but Madison is not willing to accept Nick for who he is. She constantly tries to control and change him.
While Nick seeks self destruction, as he internalized the pain from being isolated - from family and society, Troy seeks the destruction of the outside - as a last resort to self regulate and also carve a space for himself. If the world sees him as this bad monster he will give them exactly that. You hurt me - I will hurt you back.
(Troy fits the Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) attachment style, where as Nick fits the Avoidant (Dismissive) attachment style)
They both have never learned healthy coping mechanisms, as they ultimately were left alone in their formative years.
Which indicates that Nick was left emotionally neglected - just as much as Alicia. He only became the center of attention due to his addiction.
(There's a point to be made about Madison needing to save Nick, after losing Stephen. She can't let history repeat itself. Which is linked back to her mother (the weak parent) who got abused by her father (the parent who she had to kill) she learned early on that if she's not taking over for others they will be hurt/ruined and later die (Stephen). That's her unresolved trauma she projects into her family which will make her the ultimate villain, as her grip tightens the more she loses in the world.)
They both long for a place of acceptance and freedom, but are also willing to die young, as they ultimately feel unworthy, less than human.
Active suicide is not an option because they cling to life, but if they were to die, they feel it's rectified as they are monsters anyhow + it would end their own suffering.
They are both severely traumatized which shows in opposite ends of coping mechanisms.
Troy = skinning rabbits, hurting others - as he's hurting on the inside
Nick = destroying himself/his body with drugs - bc he's hurting on the inside
Troy = clinging to the family he has, forcing himself up in rank and importance to the ranch, so he can keep his place. He knows he's not accepted by anyone, so he makes them fear him too much to avoid him
Nick = runs away from family, because they don't accept him, don't see him. Burns bridges with anyone who doesn't allow him to self express, would rather isolate and die than to be controlled by anyone but ultimately seeks the comfort of home, needs to be loved for who he is.
They are ultimately the same, just different ends of a spectrum. Which makes them fit together so well.
Nick accepts Troy as he is, because all Nick ever wanted was to be seen and accepted. And Troy clings to Nick, no matter what Nick does, his love is unconditional. Something Nick has never experienced with his family.
troy losing it over nick in his natural habitat after being such an unredeemable psychopath in the first half of the season will never not be funny to me.
why did the writers feel the need to nerf all of the original characters? luciana and daniel had sooo much more in them to give; lucy felt bland after nick's death, even throughout season three we saw how they gradually started pulling her back even though her entry in season two was iconic.. wished for a beef between her and madison which should have led to her eventually avenging her people (plot line that got swept under the rug) perhaps she could have been the one to lead the horde to the ranch? honestly don't even know what happened to her when i stopped watching past season six..
mr. salazar; he was one of my favorites in the first season and his meeting with the clarks never felt forced (as meetings usually tend to be) his background was a weapon in itself; he was supposed to be one of the last men standing yet they always found a reason to give him a fake death. now i can understand the grief that took over once he lost his family (recently i started playing telltale and he reminded me of kenny) but what i cannot understand is the need to nerf the sh&$ out of him.. upon his return post plane ride lol- they could have dug deeper into his feelings; now i don't just talk about him forming a bond with charlie- he could have made a great villain given everything that happened. imagine him meeting with alicia after that long and her trying to pull back what little humanity remained within him.
these two in particular saddened me at times.
though was it just me (as i didn't follow past season 6) but i just couldn't even make an attempt to continue it once i saw how bland the acting was after it through some scenes? maybe even the actors gave up halfway through;
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I was recently thinking about how awesome it would be to have a little spin-off about how Alicia survived..
Like, how did she live after the season 7 finale, how did she end up in Mexico?? (or maybe she wasn't there... I didn't understand a damn thing Troy was talking about😍😍). About how she saved Serena, how she met Troy after Serena's death... their fight and all that.
They just gave us Alicia... and that's it, they didn't give us a normal conversation about everything between her and Madison, they didn't give us any interaction between her and Tracy. Well, of course, they chatted once or twice and that was it.. they gave absolutely no insight into Alicia's thoughts.
She simply abandoned her people and left for destroyed Los Angeles🥹😇
The more I think about it, the more I regret that I even had this idea because it's unbearable to know that it would be truly interesting lol
"I bet you feel it now, Baby, Especially since we've only known each other one day, But, I've gotta work shit out, Baby, I'm exercising demons, Got 'em runnin' 'round the block now,"
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The world had turned upside down and everything you knew had become the past; however, you didn’t care much about that fact.
In a way, you had never really fit into the perfectly imperfect society that existed. You were solitary, sometimes misunderstood and mistreated. When the earth seemed to split open and allow the dead to walk among the living, you felt strong — suddenly, you were no longer the only one who had nowhere to go or didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore.
You witnessed morals being shattered and cast aside by everyone so clearly, with no more shame or guilt for all the cruel actions of humanity. Now everything was clearer.
It wasn’t that you liked it; no, no one would take pleasure in such a situation, certainly, but it was easier — you didn’t have to pretend you knew what you were supposed to do. You could simply walk along roads waiting for chance to decide your fate. And there was something so truthful about that. No social ties, work, studies, or colleagues. It was only the most basic and pure human and animal instinct fighting for the survival of every species.
It was like watching a house on fire being consumed quickly, so quickly you could barely notice the flames spreading to the neighboring houses, leaving you trapped in a circle of fire and smoke that would lead you to the same end as everyone else. It was beautiful.
But things could become complicated so easily, as in the moment you placed your faith in others, the moment your heart began to burn for someone else, when your mind grew clouded and you allowed yourself to be guided by his gentle hands. Nick; he wasn’t a special man — he was, in truth, just a boy, a guy who used to be an addict, now a guy fighting for the life of his family and yours.
It was sweet and harmless in the beginning, like any other feeling.
– What are you doing out here?
You jumped at the boy’s voice, eyes widening as you turned and saw him standing there, leaning against the doorframe of the small entrance. His hair was slightly wet, leaving a trail of water droplets on the wooden floor of the cabin.
– I prefer staying awake at night and sleeping in the morning. – you replied without thinking much, turning your focus back to the dirt road ahead of you.
You heard him hum in agreement, and soon after, his footsteps as he sat beside you on the cold steps. Nick looked at the starry sky, so dark and yet illuminated. Then he looked back at you, licked his lips softly, and said:
– You know what the best part of all this is? – he asked. You looked at him and shook your head. – There’s no more pollution. Now we have a view of the stars everywhere.
You smiled softly. You looked at the sky and saw them shining so beautifully. Free, the way everyone now was. You remembered how you almost never looked at the stars back home — you didn’t have time, or you didn’t give them importance. Now you had all the time in the world to admire all the beautiful things you had never seen before. The thought was pleasant.
– Is it strange that I don’t miss it? How everything used to be, I mean. – your tone was so soft it sounded like a secret being whispered. You watched the expression on Nick’s face.
– Is it strange that I agree? You know, it’s like… – he paused for a moment, eyes unfocused and thoughtful. Then he continued. – It's like I’ve been living this for a long time. I never knew where I was going. And now everyone’s catching up with me.
– I was going to say something similar, but now it’ll sound like I got it from you. – you laughed lightly, which made him smile.
It was easy to be in your presence, he thought; you didn’t demand much from him, or from anyone, really. You were someone easy to understand, at least to him — all you desired was loyalty and understanding. And without even knowing why, Nick felt like he needed to give you that.
Weeks and weeks would pass, and the two of you would find yourselves drawn back to each other like a magnet every time, sitting at the cabin door, feeling the cold breeze crawl along your spines, watching the brightest stars guiding the wandering dead and enjoying the silence when it's dark out. Together.
note: this is nothing particularly special but I don't see anyone writing for him since 2024 and he's literally my favorite person rn...
in the midst of re-entering my twd phase, i actually decided to rewatch the entire series in chronological order! while doing that, i forgot abt how underrated fear was and how much i LOVE nick clark, so i decided to weave in the two universes and make a fanfic for nick clark on wattpad!
i really only have the prologue posted, but i’m currently working on the first chapter now and omg i’m excited :) i have almost every chapter planned out, too
i’m trying to get some hype around it, but haven’t had any luck on tiktok 😭
