𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔶 𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔠𝔞𝔶.

You stepped out of the car already holding your phone, checking if this was really the place of the so-called party. A whistle coming from above startled you; as you looked up, you noticed him with his usual smile, waving at you from the balcony of an apartment. Beside him were three other boys: one slightly taller with a wide smile on his lips, one wearing glasses who was much shorter than the other two, and another with a somewhat unenthusiastic expression — all pairs of eyes curiously fixed on you.

— Hey, are you dressed as a bride? — Hyuntak asked, noticing your costume.

— Oh, no! I’m Christine Daae!

— Who’s this Cristina? — The tall boy asked.

— From Phantom of the Opera… You don't know it?

The boys let out small chuckles together, shaking their heads.

— Come up, I’ll open the gate for you. — Hyuntak said, already disappearing from the balcony.

You walked, still slightly uncertain, toward the gate, which with a sharp buzz from the intercom, opened. A few steps ahead, you saw him again — this time up close, able to notice his casual clothes and his slightly flushed expression. He gave you a sly smile, looking you up and down, almost impressed by your effort to look ridiculously beautiful in white.

— Christine Daae, the opera singer that the phantom becomes obsessed with. Where’s your phantom?

— I left him at home today. — You laughed softly. — So, are you dressed as a guy who hates Halloween parties?

— Exactly. You’re the first one to get my costume, actually.

For a brief moment, the two of you simply stared at each other. The soft breeze from the building’s cold walls made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up — or maybe it was the intensity, masked by curiosity, in the boy’s gaze in front of you. The small, crooked smile on his lips was almost magnetic, even as you resisted the urge to stare at them.

— Are you going to invite me in or…? — He laughed nervously, scratching his hair.

— Of course, sorry, come in. I’ll introduce you to everyone.

Inside the apartment, you felt like you were stepping into a small piece of his mind. The white walls, with a few hanging pictures and some medals pinned up, felt strangely familiar — as if this place reminded you of home. A safe, peaceful place. It had an atmosphere that smelled like his cologne.

The boys were quick to introduce themselves, treating you as if you had been friends for years. Park Hu Min, or Baku as he liked to be called, was the most extroverted among them; his loud voice echoed easily through the cold walls, but not in a bad way — in an almost warm one. Yeon Si Eun was quieter, but just as polite. And Seo Jun Tae was as sweet as a puppy, with a soft voice and bright eyes.

The night passed effortlessly. As the hours stretched on and the moon shone brighter in the sky, you found yourself on the balcony, contemplating the feelings growing in your chest — unsure whether they were the effect of the many glasses of wine or something reserved especially for that night. You didn’t notice Hyuntak’s lingering glances on your back, much less his silent steps as he stopped right beside you.

The dark-haired boy admired you under the moonlight, noticing every detail of your face and watching the wind mess with your hair. He felt incredibly at peace — well, not entirely, because you wandered through his mind, stirring thoughts and feelings he had forgotten what they felt like.

Jun Tae appeared suddenly, catching both of you off guard. He placed himself between your bodies, looking up at the moon with a content smile on his lips. It was only then that you noticed Hyuntak’s eyes fixed on you, and he made sure to offer you a shy smile before turning back to the moon once again.

As you lay side by side, under the soft moonlight filtering through the window and the cool breeze brushing against your skin, you feel a kind of peace you once thought was impossible. But it’s in the quietest nights that your mind begins to plant cruel doubts - and before you can stop the words from slipping out, you confess in a painful whisper.

"I don't like touching my own skin… and I hate the thought of someone else touching it even more. It feels like there’s something rotten inside me, and sometimes it spills over onto my body. I’m scared that one day someone will feel it and realize it’s just another thing that’s wrong with me."

"Can I touch you?"

"Only if you promise not to lie."

"I never lie."

His fingers move with quiet reverence as they trace your skin. With the lightest touch, he follows every small bump along your arm, feeling the way you shiver beneath him.

Slowly, he maps the traces of time on your face — the faint lines left by laughter and pain, the tip of your nose, your warm cheeks, your faded brows, your dry lips. Then, gently, his hands come to rest in yours.

"Your skin has texture. Is that what you're afraid of?"

"It feels like more than that."

"Then you're not feeling it right."

⤷ fwb!seong-je.

── .✦ WEAK HERO CLASS;

⤷ little fish (.1)

⤷ they text you while you're at work.

⤷ jealousy (go hyuntak).

⤷ oh beomseok as your boyfriend.

⤷ his friend asks if you miss him.

⤷ random texts with the boys.

⤷ one night stand.

⤷ dealing with a struggling partner.

── .✦ BRAVE CITIZEN;

Yeon Si-eun:

A girlfriend that's struggling with school.

For Si Eun, school is a very important part of life, mainly because he wants a calm, stable and successful future, not to mention that he loves having knowledge. So obviously that didn’t change when the two of you started dating. He was immediately attracted to your intelligence and determination, and being a very attentive and observant partner, of course he noticed when your grades started to drop and you became more distracted in class.

He didn’t know why and preferred not to ask since you didn’t take the initiative to talk about it; so he just respected your will and assumed it was a bad phase and that soon you would go back to your usual behavior.

But that took a long time to happen, and when you finally went back to studying for tests, Si Eun noticed that you were getting more and more irritated and frustrated with the results. He knew what it felt like to be frustrated with a grade after some time dedicated to the effort of learning, so naturally he did what he could and in the way he could to help you. Direct and with no room for excuses, he started inviting you to study sessions three times a week. Sometimes the meetings on weekends were followed by long walks in the park with an ice cream cone in hand. At first it was difficult for him to include you in his heavy study routine without frustration taking over both of you, but always patient with you, things worked out over time. And you could swear you had never seen him so proud of you as the first time you got a perfect score on your first test.

Ahn Su-ho:

A girlfriend that's struggling with an eating disorder.

He could swear you were avoiding him. More than three weeks in a row in which you rejected his invitations to go out, even though you saw each other every day at school, he didn’t think it was enough, Su Ho wanted to breathe the same air as you all the time, no one imagined he would be such a clingy boyfriend. So he started observing the changes in your behavior and in your body; you were always tired, complained daily about your nails breaking, you didn’t let him touch your hair out of fear that your strands would fall even more, you skipped breaks and while everyone ate you just talked, drank water all the time and were getting more and more moody.

Su Ho thought something might be happening at home but you would have told him, and then, after a small conversation with Si Eun and a long afternoon of research on Google, he found out what was going on. At first he didn’t understand, he genuinely didn’t understand why you would be torturing yourself like that over a few numbers on the scale, but he tried to understand — because it was about you, so it was important — but it was difficult and frustrating for him, especially when he realized you couldn’t see that you were already perfect.

He tried to avoid being too direct when touching on the subject but you made everything harder by trying to minimize the situation. Su Ho didn’t leave room for a discussion to happen, either you would resolve this situation with him or he would insist until you got tired.

After you had a long and exhausting conversation, full of “What? Why would you do that?” and a lot of crying followed by tight hugs, you let him into your mind and understand your situation, explaining your story and reasons. He listened patiently and with the most focused expression you had ever seen on him. However, he insisted that if you really wanted to lose weight, he would help you do it the right way… which includes not rejecting his invitations, since moments like that are much more memorable than the moments you would spend in front of the mirror hating yourself. Even so, Su Ho could never understand how you didn’t see yourself the way he saw you.

Oh Beom-seok:

A girlfriend that's struggling with self harm.

The situation wasn’t a secret between you two, it was basically one of the things that brought you closer and made him not feel so alone knowing that you understood him and didn’t think he was crazy.

Although the reasons varied, many times you knew he hurt himself to feel a bit of control over his own body and pain, just like you when your thoughts got too loud and you felt like your heart was bleeding.

However, together (and with a lot of therapy) you overcame it and were doing very well, or at least that’s what he thought. It had been months since he had intentionally hurt himself, but even so he knew the signs, being realistic, it was hard to recognize the signs in you because you managed to hide your sadness from him since you didn’t want to make him worried. However, it was already summer and Beomseok noticed that you kept wearing long-sleeved shirts to school, even when you complained about the incessant heat of the season, that’s how he noticed something was wrong.

He didn’t want to be inconvenient and ask right away “Are you doing that again?” but at the same time he felt terrible and guilty because you didn’t trust him enough to open up. He felt your pain, and on top of everything, he felt insufficient for not being able to heal you like you did with him. It was a silly and even selfish thought, and he knew that, but he couldn’t confront his own feelings.

When he confronted you about the scar, it was a conversation full of tension and regret from both sides. You didn’t want to burden him and he didn’t want to make you feel judged. However, you could feel the sincerity in his voice, how hurt he was for not being able to help you with your pain and how worried he was. Beomseok would go crazy if he lost you, the mere thought made him feel sick. You, of all people, the only good thing that had happened to him for many years, the person who showed him that love could be true, real and beautiful.

He spent many nights researching techniques to help you forget about the cuts, listened carefully when you felt the weight of the world on your shoulders and even gently and devotedly kissed every scar on your body with nothing but affection. You, who sometimes felt repulsive because of your scars, by his side only felt love. Pure, complicated and mutual.

Park Hu-Min (Baku):

A girlfriend that's struggling with bad parents.

The boy knew you like the back of his hand, maybe even better than yourself, and when your mood was bad, he was the first to do everything to see you smile again. It wasn’t a secret that your relationship with your mother wasn’t the best, Baku had already heard you complain about her about five hundred times and in all of them he supported you and in his rushed way, made you forget the fights and harsh words.

But this time it was different because he didn’t hear you tell the story, he saw it with his own eyes. He went to your house to pick you up for a date, and as soon as he got to the gate he heard your mother’s shouting, clearly agitated and taking it out on you, who was shouting with the same intensity. He almost hesitated to ring the bell, but did it anyway and was greeted with your face at the window saying you were already coming down. He waited with an awkward smile for the argument to end.

Before you closed the gate and greeted him, your mother shouted again “You look ridiculous in that outfit. This boy should be ashamed to walk with someone like you!” and at that moment the smile disappeared from his lips. You made a point of ignoring the subject the whole day, changing topics or simply pretending you didn’t know what he was talking about, that’s how he knew you were really hurt.

As soon as he got home, Baku texted you, making it clear that your mother had never been more wrong and that in fact he couldn’t be more proud to be by your side.

Baku knew firsthand what it was like to be seen as a disgrace, a nobody with no future by your own family. He knew how the harsh words of a father or mother hurt much more than any punch because they touch a very intimate part of our soul. And just thinking that your mother treated you that way made the boy furious and frustrated with the situation because he knew he couldn’t do anything but emphasize his love for you. No matter what your mother said, she didn’t appreciate you (and even if he didn’t understand why), he knew he would love you enough for both of them.

Go Hyun-tak (Gotak):

A girlfriend struggling with low self esteem.

You went to all of his games, always there in the stands, cheering and watching him dedicate his victories to you. And you loved being there for him, but being with someone so popular had its complications and many of them came directly from your own mind. It wasn’t like you didn’t know he had fans, but seeing them at every game with their short dresses, perfect faces and enviable bodies had become a constant problem. You couldn’t help comparing yourself and eventually questioning: why did he choose me among all of them?

The thing is that this question never even crossed his mind. Gotak had been charmed by you since the first time he heard your voice. The boy was simply crazy about everything about you and everyone could see that. Except you.

When you finally decided to tell him what was going through your mind, Gotak got genuinely angry. First because he couldn’t believe that you really doubted yourself and what he felt for you, and second because you insisted on treating the subject like a joke even though it hurt you. Accidentally he was harsher than he would have liked, but his intentions were pure.

He felt bad for even allowing you to create doubts about the size of his love for you. After your conversation, he started complimenting you ten times more than usual, but not just common and ordinary compliments, they were deep compliments that had been thought of with great care like “I love how your whole body relaxes when you eat chocolate”.

He always posts pictures of you with the cutest songs he knows, doesn’t hesitate to show the world that he loves you and that he has no eyes for anyone else.

Na Baekjin:

A girlfriend that's struggling with problems at home.

He is naturally very protective of you, and although he doesn’t show it much with words, Baekjin is always attentive to your routine, mood, well-being and health. The main way he finds to take care of you is by being your safe place; no matter how the world is, around him you will always be safe and comfortable.

As usual, you spent the rest of the afternoon together, but your energy was practically drained after being forced to wake up early to take care of the house, review your studies and still cook for your grandmother, you were irritated after not being able to sleep properly at night, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Baekjin. He didn’t ask questions immediately, but made sure to see you eating and put you in a taxi, telling you to go rest at home.

However, after finally receiving an explanation for why you were so tired, he understood the situation immediately and made a point of picking you up again and taking you to his apartment.

As soon as you arrived, he sent you to the shower while he prepared a hot drink for both of you, fixed the bed the way he knew you liked it and waited for your bath to end to lie down with you. As you two laid down together, he let you choose a silly movie to watch until you fell asleep, surrounded by his arms and his calm breathing. You didn’t take long to, and while you slept, Baekjin watched you with impressive fascination. He, for a moment, considered asking you not to leave anymore, to stay there with him, in the small and comfortable world you two had created. However, regardless of your answer, he knew he would protect and take care of you at any cost.

Geum Seong-je:

A girlfriend struggling with mental health.

Dating Seong-je is not an easy task, the boy is disturbing, slightly insane, violent and lonely… and still, charming and a reflection of yourself. When you realized you were in love, it was complicated, you could barely deal with your own company, let alone his. But the thing was that he had also fallen in love, deeply and in a way he never had before, which only meant one thing: he wasn’t willing to give up on you.

Your crisis moments happened unexpectedly, simple things made you react in an exaggerated way, you freaked out and ended up being mean to everyone around you, especially him, who refused to leave you alone. And then came the phases where you said things you didn’t mean, where anger took over your body and all you wanted was to smash his face. And then came the guilt, flooded with sadness and regret. But in all phases, he was by your side. Taking every insult, apology and slap as if they were the most natural thing in the world for him.

He didn’t mind being your temporary punching bag, he also did his best not to take your harsh words personally, it was surprising to everyone, but he had always been very patient with you. After all, he understood what it was like to feel out of control, losing your mind and acting like a madman, many times he was taken by anger and indifference where he put himself at risk without thinking about the consequences — and you supported him when he needed it, that was enough for him to promise not to let go of your hand in moments when everything seemed impossible.

Sometimes you felt like you were too much of a burden for him to carry, on nights where you crossed the line and then broke down sitting on the floor in tears, too ashamed to look at him and maybe see something other than love in his eyes — but that never happened, every time, he sat beside you and held your head, bringing you to his chest and stroking your hair with nothing but care.

To the outside world, Seong-je could be a crazy, cold and violent guy but to you he was never anything but kind; and the love of your life.

Beomseok’s birthday was practically a public event, since his adoptive father turned the date into a way to promote his election campaign. In other words, the entire day was basically Beomseok taking photos with people he had never seen before, fake smiles and plenty of flattery around the hall, impatient photographers and even a few journalists looking for a headline. He had never hated his own birthday so much — but he did take something good from that day: his adoptive father had gifted him a state-of-the-art camera. Which soon became his most valuable possession and his only companion during his loneliest nights.

Beomseok developed a passion for photography; he captured several moments of his week that many would overlook, he had found a way to see beauty in the smallest and most subtle things of daily life, but nothing was as effortlessly dazzling as his muse — you. His favorite pastime after you started dating was to record every moment of happiness in your relationship. Your smiles were often the focus of his camera.

Despite being very active on Instagram, his profile only had 3 posts: a family photo (which he was forced to post), a discreet photo making your relationship official, and a photo of you, which you didn’t even notice being taken. And almost every week he posts something new on his stories, almost always a photo of you or one that you took of him.

He may be shy and avoid drawing attention to himself, but this boy has never been afraid to announce to the world how much he loves you. As if it wasn’t already visible in the way he looks at you — as if you had hung the moon in the sky, he mentions you in every possible conversation.

Si Eun was the first to notice the gentle way he described you to his friends or how he resembled a stray cat craving attention, always close to you and silently observing everything you did. Si Eun remained quiet, as always, but deep down he also felt grateful for the certainty that you would take care of his friend when he no longer could.

Su Ho, in a way, was the cupid between you. Beomseok almost freaked out when the boy interrupted your conversation and, without hesitation, asked, “When are you going to ask her out?”, immediately turning red as a tomato and stuttering nonstop until you looked at him and said, “He’s right, when are you going to ask me out?” He didn’t know whether to cry right there, kick Su Ho for that or thank him. In the end, everything worked out — by the end of the day, he had timidly asked you to check out a new café near the school.

His wallpaper is a photo of the two of you. His favorite one, taken on your birthday. He could hardly believe how beautiful you looked, and so radiant, brighter than an entire constellation. You sat in the park, around four in the afternoon as the sun was setting, and he asked you in an intimate murmur, praying that time would stop at that exact moment:

“What did you wish for when you blew out the candles?”

He expected a simple answer, something material that he would be more than happy to give you, but your answer left him speechless.

“I was going to wish that I had met you sooner, but I realized that was a silly wish. So I asked to know you forever, that way I would never forget you.”

He can be very jealous sometimes; it’s no secret that Beomseok is very insecure, but he becomes even more paranoid and protective when it comes to you. Sometimes it can be suffocating, of course, many of your arguments were about that. The idea of losing you to another guy was enough to make him lose his head and act like an idiot, both with you and with others. It wasn’t a surprise when you found out he had gotten into trouble with one of your friends for thinking the boy had ulterior motives.

His insecurity came from a painful place within him; it wasn’t just the fear of being replaced by someone more handsome, intelligent, popular, or interesting. It was about a boy who had been abandoned as a child, who was suddenly chosen to be a trophy for a cruel man when all he wanted was to be part of a family, it was about a boy who grew up without friends and when he finally made some, he felt insignificant to them. Everything came down to a desperate need to be chosen by someone, again and again — and that was all you needed to do to become his world.

The first time you found out what his father did to him was a mess. He had never felt so vulnerable and pathetic as he did that day. He hated even thinking that the only person who saw him as strong and as a real man now knew that deep down he was just a little boy who couldn’t defend himself from his own father. He felt ashamed. But that didn’t matter to you. You traced every scar on his back, listened to him cry like a child, held him tightly, and looking into his eyes, promised that you would never let him go.

The scars on his back weren’t the only things he hid. Beomseok experienced a lot of pain throughout his life, and in a twisted way, he ended up getting used to it. He developed a complicated relationship with pain — he no longer feared it, not when he knew it was far from over. So he began, slowly, trying to take control of his own pain. He didn’t cut his skin, but he also didn’t stop picking at his wounds until they bled again, he slapped himself in moments of anger or he would simply start a fight over some silly reason. He couldn’t use a razor, not when his body was his father’s property. He needed to maintain an impeccable appearance, and that was why he never hurt his face.

He isn’t good with words and finds it terribly difficult to express his feelings, so he tries to do it by pleasing you with gifts he knows you want, taking you to expensive places you wouldn’t even imagine going to. But eventually he sends you messages in the middle of the night confessing how afraid he is of losing you and that he’s sorry for being the way he is.

He spares no effort to make you happy. He truly wants you to have everything you’ve always wanted, to get into the best college in the country, live in a comfortable house and always be safe. He is a very attentive boyfriend, loves when you bother him all day by sending messages and telling him what you’re doing as if he were your walking diary.

He always gets nervous when trying on clothes different from what he’s used to wearing, so he sends you a quick picture and asks what you think. Your answer is the key to his confidence.

Unfortunately, he is extremely emotionally dependent on your relationship, your mood basically dictates his mood. Beomseok wants to spend as much time as possible with you, and sometimes struggles to understand that you need space and connections with other people.

When he knows you’re mad at him, he is capable of anything. He humiliates and ridicules himself for your forgiveness, even knowing that the next day he may resent all of it and end up taking it out on you, which becomes an endless cycle.

Beomseok doesn’t know how to love little by little, calmly. No. His love is intense and strikes you like lightning, it is almost impossible to be struck by it, but when it happens, it leaves marks so deep that nothing else brings you a similar feeling. But it doesn’t strike you twice either, his trust is given with great care and once it is lost, there is no going back.