i really don’t have the time to be the way i am

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

i'll forever miss how the internet felt before you had to second-guess the authenticity of every single piece of media you came across. silly videos used to be just silly. fun was coincidental. wonder was just wonder. digital art had character and soul. AI has taken the taste out of everything and irreversibly poisoned the creative sphere and the people still pushing it forward are the doom of joy and hollowing out the quality of being.

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

it bothers me that you often don't really hear about people having a "favorite album" the way they might have a favorite movie or favorite video game

fuck it. reblog this and tell me in the tags what your favorite album is

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

social media sites need to start adding a specific 'don't show me any more Harry potter content' button

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial