still alive ᵇᵘᵗ ᵇᵃʳᵉˡʸ ᵇʳᵉᵃᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ

The horror of being so utterly alone while a stranger even to your own mind and heart

Did I really have that crush years ago or was it just my mind intertwining the life in my head with the life of my own?

Do I really yearn for them, or do I just want to prove that I'm capable of loving?

Do I really want a relationship or do I just want to prove that I'm, at last, loveable?

do they actually move toward what they desire? how far are they willing to go for it? do they pursue their desires directly or indirectly? do they acquire what they desire through force, trickery, or negotiation? do they tell themselves they aren't supposed to feel desire and suppress it? does the suppressed desire wither away and die, or does it mutate and grow even stronger? is the initially expressed desire actually an inadequate and poorly translated different desire that they lack language for? does the desire change once the language has been updated, or when new experiences outline the desire more clearly? do they want something else once they have better words for it, or once they know that they definitely don't want something they thought they wanted before?

how does the world accommodate those desires? what does the world present to your character and in what order to update and clarify their desires? how does your magic system or sci-fi device correspond to those desires and the pursuit of them?

It’s essentially where a character, usually- but not always- the protagonist, is in a uniquely tempting situation. They have the opportunity to do something they want to do, something that’s selfish and usually, objectively wrong. They WANT to do it on some level, it’s a benefit, and there won’t be any negative consequences for them. And the cherry on top: Nobody who’s opinion they care about will ever know what they’ve done.

Sometimes, it’s something like not saving someone who was horrible to you. Sometimes it’s a little more active, like an alter ego they can use to express their desires. But it’s always, metaphorically speaking, “in the dark”. Nobody sees, or anyone that sees doesn’t know it’s them, or nobody they care about sees and knows it’s them.

What the character does in that situation tells the audience who that character really is. What they’re like under any facades or pleasantries they may put up. What you are in the dark defines you. You are at your most YOU when nobody is looking.

Usually, if the character is a hero, they’ll throw away this opportunity. They’ll face the little voice whispering, “No one will ever know,” and tell it, “I’LL know.” Because they know whatever they have the chance to do is wrong, and they know they’d be torn up about it. Even with no external restrictions, there’s a little guiding force telling them to do good, or at the very least, NOT do evil.

If the character takes the opportunity to do something bad when no one is looking, that is usually framed as a bad thing that they have to work past. Or you know, just the start of a straight-up spiral into darkness if you’re writing a fallen hero story.

I only take pictures of beautiful things.

Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.

Japanese shows have been coming through recently with that aro and ace rep! Thought I would put together a list for anyone interested in seeing more aro, ace and aroace characters. Feel free to add on if I've missed any!

Koisenu Futari (TV series) - Takahashi Satoru and Kodama Sakuko

You've probably heard of this show. It has not one but two explicitly aroace characters with very different personalities. The entire show revolves around them figuring out life after identifying as aroace. Takahashi is also canonically touch-averse.

Kimi no Hana ni Naru (TV series) - Onodera Takara

I have not watched the show personally and so am not sure whether he's aro or aroace. Every time I see the translations, they are different, so will update as and when I watch the show for myself. But he does explicitly say he does not experience romantic attraction. This show is also written by the screenwriter of Koisenu Futari.

Cherry Magic (TV series and Movie) - Fujisaki Nozomi

Another gem from the creator of Koisenu Futari. Fujisaki is canonically aroace.

Konya Sukiyaki Dayo (TV Series) - Asano Tomoko

Again, I'm not sure whether Tomoko is aro or aroace but she explicitly says she is aromantic in the show and that she doesn't understand romantic attraction.

Raise de wa Chanto Shimasu (TV Series) - Takasugi Ume

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

le seuil,

60 x 60cm