Chlorophyll Boy

tw// Discussion of eating and food, depression, dysphoria, dysmorphia.

!! This post is not meant to shame anyone about their own food habits! I am simply talking about my own relationship with food and habits I learned or was taught that I now realise are unhealthy for me. If I speak negatively on a habit and it's one you have, it is not a slight against you, it's just a comment on something I now deem as negative from my own experiences and new understandings of how my mind and body work. Everyone has different limits, opinions, wants, and needs, this post is solely about my own.

•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•

I've always had a super funny relationship with food. My mum, as many parents do, always encouraged us to finish absolutely everything on our plates, but she would also overfill our plates to the extreme whenever she cooked for us. At 13 I was eating from large plates that had an actual mound of food on it, to the point where you couldn't pick around the plate very much, you just had to eat either from the edges in or the top down. I'm super grateful that she could afford to feed me in such a way...but I'm not so grateful for her reaction to the relationship me and my siblings came to have with food and eating. She constantly berated us for eating things, especially my brother, but she's the one who always had us eating a lot when she cooked.

For my brother, two slices of toast wasn't enough for breakfast, because our other meals were always excessive. So he'd make two slices of toast and butter and eat those while another two were in the toaster. Then he'd make a coffee and take the second two slices upstairs with his coffee to enjoy. She began attacking him for his eating habits and weight, both in front of him and behind his back. Whenever I snacked, or asked if we had specific things in, she would either begin to talk bad about him because we didn't have the thing I was asking about, or would complain that I wanted to eat something. So not only was I never taught what my limits were for fullness, but I was also being taught that wanting to eat snacks when I was hungry was bad. I began to snack without talking to her first to avoid the berating, which meant I would either eat something she'd wanted to eat and get told off later, or would eat something she "intended" to cook for us and also get told off. And intended is in quotations there because not only did she no longer cook for us often, but also because when I did eventually stop eating things she kept complaining about now not being able to use because they were gone, she instead began telling me off because she bought the item for me that time and I hadn't eaten it before it had gone off so now it had to be thrown out. She never told me I could eat it, and in past experiences I'd been told off for doing so, so how was I meant to know? I tried to find a middle ground, where I would eat some of the things she'd been complaining about, but leave some so it could be used if she wanted to cook with it, but I was still yelled at either for daring to eat it, for opening it, or for allowing it to go bad because actually it was intended for my consumption that time. I then started to eat things when I noticed they would go bad soon, and you can guess the outcome of that. Still. Told. Off. And me trying to explain that it was about to go bad was either met with "don't give me attitude/ argue with me" or her claiming that she was going to use it the same day I had eaten it. I eventually started asking her about things, again, specifically asking if she was wanting or intending to use something I was thinking of eating but...yeah, old dogs new tricks and all that rubbish.

A specific example of my mum's reaction to our eating is the milk. We would all use the milk for hot drinks and cereal, four of us living in the house and three of those four drinking hot drinks regularly and all using the 4pints of milk that was bought simultaneously, and she would get mad at us because she'd bought milk two days ago and it was already gone or had very little left. She didn't adjust how much milk she bought, she just complained at us for using it. Same with bread. My brother and I would have toast in a morning and I would make sandwiches for school and when I got home she'd get mad at me because half the loaf that she bought yesterday was already gone. She never adjusted how much she bought. I was simultaneously learning that wasting food in any capacity was bad, so I should eat until I'm nauseous and even keep going if there was food left on my plate, and that I wasn't allowed to eat anything in the house. I had no idea what to do.

At some point mum decided to stop cooking for us on the regular. Cooked meals during the week were made by the person who wanted to eat them, more microwaveable and snack stuff was bought, and we stopped having sunday dinner every weekend, with it becoming a fortnightly, then monthly, occurance before they pretty much became a "oooh, I'm fancying a big dinner" thing randomly throughout the year. My sister had moved out and I was offering to cook for my brother if I hadn't seen him in the kitchen that day, while also sending food over to my sister's on the regular, so whenever I cooked it was often for multiple people. If I did make something for myself, it was often something simple that I now see I still made excessive amounts of. I would eat 25 chicken nuggets with half a bag of chips in one sitting and still go back for crisps and other snacks not long after I was done. If I made spaghetti bolognese, stew, or something of the like, it was made for the family and left on the stove for people to take from when they wanted it, and some would be sent to my sister's. My brother eventually moved out to another country, and I stuck to mostly cooking for myself with the occassional thing being sent to my sister. If I did make something solely for myself, my mum would show interest in it while I was cooking and I would have to make some for her. If she missed that I was cooking but spotted me going upstairs with a plate (by this point we'd all long since stopped eating together, and hardly did it in the first place anyway), she would ask what I was having and I'd have to tell or show her. If I tried to ignore her she'd put on a stupid voice and say "whatcha got?" over and over until I caved and told her, which eventually became the normal interaction because I defaulted to ignoring her question and she learned that I responded to the irritating voice. My subsequent response to that was to begin simply saying "Food." and continuing my ascent. Growing up, sharing food only happened if you absolutely could not eat any more without being sick, at which point another family member (usually my brother, eventually I) would take your plate and eat the rest. We did not share other than that, with the exception being when my brother was feeling kind and would let me try something he'd made. Having my mum show interest in my food and more often than not asking for some was not only new, it was irritating to me. When my nephew became old enough to eat solid food and I was cooking, I would always hear mum in the living room telling my nephew I'm making something for him, but never shout through and ask me to. If I ignored that I'd heard it and began going upstairs, she'd ask me where my nephew's food was and I'd have to tell her that she didn't ask me so I didn't make him any. She did then begin asking me to cook for him when she heard me making something, but it still annoyed me because it meant I wasn't allowed to make things to my liking because I had to consider his tastes. Spices, sweetcorn, and at one point potatoes, carrots, and broccoli weren't allowed at all. And I didn't like children at this point. I still don't, but my sister's kids have eventually become a mild exception. They still annoy the hell out of me because of children things, but I do love them and am willing hang out with them, take care of them on occassion, and cook for them, now. When I visit my mum's and my nephews are there I even tell them what I'm cooking and ask if they'd like some, but back then that wasn't the case. Wasted food also stopped going to me, because I was learning that eating until I was nauseous wasn't fun. Luckily, we had a big dog that was expensive to feed, so if the food was safe for him we'd be allowed to scrape it into his food bowl to be taken out to him later with some biscuits, rather than being shamed or shouted at for not finishing our meal like we were when I was younger.

I moved out of my mum's to go to university across the country, and when I did I very quickly realised that I had no idea what my food preferences were, how much you cook for one person, or how to cook specific things. It didn't help that mum had professional cookware, but a really old and shitty oven that took 45 minutes to cook bacon. The first time I cooked bacon in the brand new oven at my flat it was charcoal. I ate it anyway, but I had to ask my oldest (not previously mentioned in this post, have fun keeping up) sister how the hell I'm meant to cook bacon, and how long is it meant to be in for? I had the same issue with eggs, not learning how to actually boil an egg for two years, and almost always overdoing my poached eggs because of the difference in mine and my mum's cookware. I didn't try fried eggs for a super long time because while living at mum's I'd learned that I didn't like them, so they were off the menu when I moved as well. Though I have tried them since moving and do enjoy them, now. I also, for some reason, didn't think to try new things on my own. My partner at the time had me try ramen, and I really liked it. He also had me try Taco Bell, and that was great. I don't know why or when I tried rice, but I know it was early in my first year because I lived off of it for that entire year of university. When I did cook properly, it was pasta bake, spag bol, poached eggs on toast, lasagne, or bacon and eggs. Everything except the poached eggs and bacon and eggs was made to fill the largest pot I owned, and usually I ate it all by the end of the day simply because I didn't know my limits. If I wrapped something up and put it in the fridge, I wouldn't stop thinking about it and would go back to it not long after to eat the rest. I also did the same whenever I made any sort of pasta, more often than not suffering with feeling sick because of it. 75-80% of the time I was either eating packet ramen, or spicy chicken with rice, which were in much smaller portions because I'd only eat a bowlful, but I was still eating an entire cup of rice with a whole chicken breast and I've learned since that that's too much for me when eating properly. I didn't notice it, but my portion sizes and frequency of eating shrank because of how much ramen and rice I was eating, and how little time I spent eating because I was so busy with class. I'd gone from having breakfast, lunch, and dinner while at mum's to having something small and quick (toast, fruit, cereal), or nothing, in a morning and a single bowl of chicken and rice after I got home from university. I was too poor to afford takeout often, but if I did get to have it I would order too much, eat it all, and then not eat for the rest of the day. If I did cook something that could have been tubbed and put away, I would eat it all and feel really sick after, going to sleep as soon as I was done eating. When I eventually went back to visit my mum almost a year later, I was incredibly underweight and became physically sick for days because I automatically finished the massive mound of food she gave me that had actual meats and vegetables in that my body was no longer used to having. I still hadn't found a healthy balance.

Covid hit, and I moved back to my mum's over the summer because she needed a carer, I was dealing with a fresh breakup and having no friends because of it, and I was living in a tiny apartment with no easy or safe access to nature or the outside. We both decided it would be best for me to go back, and I landed in her town at midnight, the second the lockdown had come into effect. I got to her house, sat and spoke with her for a while, and then went to bed. Mum had picked up her own bad eating habits while I was away, getting in to her own head about fats and calories and weight because the medication she was on for her health condition had a side effect of making you gain weight if you don't exercise often while taking it, which she didn't. This means that when I got back, there wasn't a lot of food in for the both of us, and I had to make do with what little we did have. I also had to isolate from her for a few days because of her medical condition, so it was a crappy couple of days. Eventually we sat down together and did an online shop, but both decided to get a lot of snack food and throw-in-the-oven or microwaveable stuff, as they were things that I couldn't really eat while at university as I couldn't afford them, so mum and I saw it as a treat. At the time this seemed like a really good idea, but it just meant I mostly lived off of pringles and pepsi max and stopped cooking almost altogether. Almost a month in I realised I was gaining weight and feeling alone and immediately fell into a long depression. I stopped getting up in a morning, and continued only to eat pringles and drink pepsi max. When I did try and pick myself up out of it by asking mum to buy ingredient things, she protested against it by only encouraging me to get junk food and things that were easy to cook, but I did manage to convince her to buy eggs, cheese, and some fresh fruits and vegetables, along with some meats. I started trying to get up early, make breakfast, and start my day, but she began scolding me for making noise before 12pm when she got up, and I gave up, only going downstairs when I heard her get up and go to the toilet, which signalled she was awake for the day.

I did get back up to a healthier weight, but my head was not happy about the situation, and I'd often end up with a barrage of mental tormet if I ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner but also felt I wanted a snack at any point throughout the day. Sometimes I'd want to cook but while doing so would second guess if what I was making was too much or not enough. I just couldn't tell. I started looking online and at the backs of packages to see what the recommended portion size is, but when I looked at it on my plate something in the back of my mind would tell me it's not enough while also telling me I'm disgusting for wanting any more than that. I stopped eating three meals a day and put myself down to two. Then I stopped cooking entirely, again, and went back to pringles and pepsi max, sometimes not even really eating any pringles and just downing can after can of pepsi. It was official. I finally realised it. I'd come to hate food. Cooking, one of my favourite and most relaxing hobbies, had become a gruelling form of torture. It was only then that I thought about my history with food as a whole, and began to hate myself and my mum for it. I was snacking constantly, never having a cooked meal or even really thinking about cooking, feeling crappy all the time over my food and my weight, and generally just not doing well mentally.

As always happens, I got really sick of being so depressed that I didn't get out of bed. I forced myself to actually cook something every now and then, and I think my mum noticed I wasn't eating properly because whenever she did get up to cook something she would ask if I wanted her to make some for me. I think she honestly realised I was depressed as a whole because when she walked past my bedroom in a morning I would be lay in bed doing very little. Her cooking me breakfast was a way to get me out of bed, and I would at least sit at my desk to eat it. We got into the habit of having whoever got up first in a morning making breakfast for both of us, usually poached eggs on toast but sometimes I'd have an omelette and some fruit. It was nice. We still didn't eat together, but when I was done with my breakfast I'd go back downstairs and wash our dishes and hang out in the living room with her for a while to chat or watch tv together. I was a little more lenient with my portion sizes whenever I made something, and my sister still lived close by so sometimes I'd make a large portion and send it over in a tub for her household. With both my mum and one of my nieces being really high risk, we had to be super careful, but we made it work. My relationship with food improved, but I still had trouble stopping myself when I was full, making the right amount, or being kind to myself when I was hungry and letting myself eat something. Mum was still really bad at just wanting to buy me snack foods, but I did always manage to convince her to also get me some ingredients. And, food wise, that's how we stayed for all of that first lockdown. I went back to my flat once it was lifted enough to allow for travel.

When I got back I was in the same situation as before, mostly. I didn't really know my eating habits, preferences, or how to cook for just one person, but I was better at putting extra food in the fridge and leaving it there for another day, and I really had a thing for having omelettes in a morning with some fruit. My habit of having just chicken and rice most of the time lessened, and I cooked a little more, but things still weren't great. I was still having trouble with my new weight, still fighting myself over how much and how often I should eat, and still sometimes eating all of what I cooked instead of putting it away. Though I was more inclined to search for and try new recipes and ingredients, and I tried to be more patient with myself as a whole. I still really hated to waste food, and at first didn't really want to buy breads, fruits, vegetables, and cheese because I was never able to use them before they went bad, even if I did cook often. This really limited what I could cook if I wanted to, and I mostly ate packet ramen, poached eggs on toast, omlettes, and other simple dishes. One day I realised that I easily go through 4pints of milk and began buying 6, which lasted me the week, and was cheaper in the long run. This small adjustment to fit my habits caused a ripple effect, and I started buying frozen fruits and vegetables to use in my meals, and freezing my bread when I knew I wanted some for something but also knew I wouldn't use the whole loaf before it went bad. If I knew I was cooking something that same day that could use fruits or vegetables, I'd allow myself to buy the amount I needed in fresh and then also get myself some frozen. If I didn't use them before they started showing signs of going bad, I'd cook big portions of something and freeze it in tubs to microwave on days I was busy. Or I would look up recipes that used them and make that, thus also getting myself to try something new. I paid more attention to how food is supposed to be stored, and even realised that I should be setting alarms to tell me when it's time to eat (which I'm actually going to change to tell me when it's time to cook because I've recently realised that would be better for me). These adjustments changed my life massively when it came to cooking, as I was now thinking of my habits, wants, and needs in a way that benefitted me and suited my lifestyle better.

With some more minor adjustments being added as I see fit, these are pretty much the habits I still have today. I'm limited by the fact I live in accommodation and therefore have to share the kitchen and the storage within, but I'm still doing so much better than only eating spicy chicken with rice, or ramen. I'm not just snacking my way through the day, more often than not having at least one meal, even if it isn't cooked, and with that has come the habit of paying a little more attention to my limits, too. I still mess up. I still have massive arguments with my brain about how much and how often I should be eating. I still sometimes eat the entirety of something that could be put away. I still have a difficult relationship with food and my body. I still have to remind mum and myself that I don't just want snack foods when I visit, and correct her on foods I do and don't enjoy because she always gets it wrong. I still have massive amounts of trouble with buying snack foods and wanting to eat all of them immediately, which always makes me feel physically and mentally terrible after. But there has been massive amounts of improvement, and I do want to acknowledge that, because sometimes I look at my current eating habits and feel awful. These realisations and adjustments have also happened over multiple years, so it's easy to miss the fact that there's been any change at all. There has, though, and when I put everything together like this that's clear for me. I've also realised I'm not the kind of person that can get up one morning and change everything all at once and have that be my life. It's overwhelming and upsetting to do that, but I can adjust a lot of little somethings over a longer period of time that eventually, with patience, do make a big difference in my life.

!!CW// Mention of ED, Depression, Social Anxiety (all minor)!!

This post contains links to books and products that you may wish to buy. I'm not sponsored by anyone, I just know how annoying it can be to be told about something and not know where to buy it, so I included links. If I've mentioned something you would like a link on, please let me know and I'll edit one in at the appropriate location. Please be aware that I am from the UK, so all sites linked are UK based

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

I have a very weird relationship with books, in that I grew up reading frequently, loving it, and being known at the kid who always had at least one book in their bag. Then I got Gifted Kid Syndrome and dropped reading like a particularly ugly doll and moved on to watching YouTube and playing video games.

That analogy is a little iffy, actually. I never fully dropped reading, I just stopped doing it nearly as frequently, and one day I asked myself if I should actually bother putting the book in my bag because it's just taking up space and getting damaged. I still bought books all the time, and officially own 300 at the moment ("officially" meaning that that's how many are in my personal library log, I know I have more than that around) but I would probably only read one a year, if that. More often than not I would take books out of the library, read perhaps a few pages of one of them, then renew them for 6 months swearing I would take the time to read them just to return them unread.

A lot of the reading in my teens happened in school as part of my English classes at GCSE. These classes consisted of reading pages together in lesson, often aloud. Sometimes we would be told to sit and read until we got to a certain part, then we could put the book down and answer some set questions. In the final 10 minutes there would be a discussion. I did actually read during these times, but it was only because if we didn't we were reprimanded. As a formally gifted reader, I hated the aloud sessions, and would read ahead because others read too slowly (and it would somehow be almost 10 years before a doctor told me I might have ADHD). When I was inevitably told I had to read, I had to ask where we were. More often than not the teacher assumed disinterest and pretending to read the pages, and I would have to explain that I had actually just read ahead, and was on the next week's set of chapters already. I got reprimanded for that once, too.

Classroom trauma aside. The point here is that I didn't do a lot of reading in my mid-late teens. In 2018, I discovered Goodreads, and their reading challenge. I, not fully knowing what I could or couldn't do, set myself a challenge of reading five books that year, and I finished all five. My challenge says I read 5/4 because towards the end of the year I was worried I wouldn't hit target and lowered the count, but I did finish my book in the end. For those interested, I read:

The Silver Eyes, Scott Cawthon

Sherlock: The Essential Arthur Conan Doyle Adventures, Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat

Can I Tell You About Eating Disorders?, Bryan Lask

We're All Mad Here: A No-Nonsence Guide to Social Anxiety, Claire Eastham

I Had a Black Dog It's Name was Depression, Matthew Johnstone.

As you can see, three of these books were mental health based. I was attending therapy in 2018 and my therapist recommended I read about my disorders as well as having therapy sessions, as reading about them might work better for me than just talking about them every few weeks. That whole thing is a completely different post for some other day, but it did make me pick up reading again, and Claire Eastham's book would actually be the first example of what would eventually develop into my own personal way of "tagging" books. I decided to study it like I would a book for school, and ended up writing important or interesting information in the journal my therapist suggest I have. I still have those notes even now.

Despite this boost back into my hobby, reading was still something I had to work hard to do. In 2019 I read 17/15 books, 2020 saw me reading 12/20, 2021 was 15/15, and 2022 was 5/15. My reading habits fluctuated massively, and I was still struggling to finish the books I already owned. Also, my actual book count in 2020 was 11. I mistagged a book as read and for some reason, despite correcting the mistake, Goodreads still added it to my reading challenge count.

In 2019 I started university, and you can see that my reading count did go up, but it wasn't because I was reading the books I was assigned for class. Some of the books I read from 2019 onwwards were class books, and were counted towards my reading challenge count, but a lot of the things we were asked to read for lessons or assignments I read notes and papers on because I couldn't get past the first couple of pages without being unbelievably bored. Likewise, I wasn't taking notes on anything I read like I did for We're All Mad Here. I just read the book and moved on, no notes, no comments, no annotations.

Recently, I handed in the final assignment for my course. All the reading I had to do for classes and papers is over, and I'm free to read how I please until September, when I (hopefully) begin my masters degree. This is lucky, as my father and I started a reading challenge together at Christmas, we want to read 100 books together. We're on book two right now because leisure reading has been slow for me due to being a student and trying to balance my social, student, and family lives. Hopefully I'll finish this book this month and we can start another together, and it's my choice this time! I have no idea what we'll read next, but I want to do a book I haven't read yet, as my first recommendation was a book I was reading for an assignment that I was actually enjoying. Though I am also getting really into Alice's Adventures in Wonderland again, so I might make him read that, who knows.

Anyway.

I think I am actually beginning to enjoy reading again. A massive part of why I stopped in the first place was because the books I was reading simply weren't enjoyable. I had to pick them up for school and analyse them excessively, and I hated it. I genuinely blame Kazuo Ishiguro for my disinterest in reading, now, because Never Let Me Go would have been a fantastic book if I didn't have to over-analyse, reread, and deconstruct every sentence of it. I saw his name pop up on a university reading list last year and I actually complained to my classmates and lecturer because I was so dreading having to analyse another one of his works. Though, again, I think I would have genuinely enjoyed and appreciated Never Let Me Go if it wasn't for the fact I was reading an A-Level book for a first year GCSE class because my teacher thought we were all sooo smart (newsflash, we all failed the mock exam on Ishiguro's book and had to quickly switch tracks to do an actual GCSE book. We read Heroes, Robert Cormier, but were given the option of either set of exam questions in our final test. We all chose Heroes).

Throughout my time at university I did manage to sneak books I actually enjoyed reading into assignments, and built a habit of trying to do that at least once for each assignment, but I often ended up using the same book in different papers because I found they could be used across multiple modules. As we had to do a lot of reading and talking about what we read, I ended up writing in my books in pencil. Then, eventually, used pen and highlighter. They were my books, so it didn't matter.

I regret this choice.

Not because the books are "damaged", but because they look awful, and it's hard to write neatly in books. I stopped writing in them aside from maybe putting my name in the front cover because there were twenty of us in class and we often showed each other our books to point out extracts and such, and I didn't want to lose my copy. My annotating looked sloppy, and I despised it. I feel like I ruined the flow of my favourite poetry book because I used highlighter in it. I now have a clean, signed copy that I haven't directly annotated (for anyone who's read past posts, it's Neil Hilborn's book!). As you might guess, however, discussing books is difficult when you haven't been able to write down your points.

When it came to writing for my dissertation, I was finding it incredibly hard to keep track of my thought processes, comments, and ideas. Then, I saw a TikTok where a book tagger was talking about small, coloured sticky tabs, and I decided to give them a go. I don't think I understood it very well, though, and should have probably looked up more information about book tagging. I'm just now realising while writing this that the tags likely went all over the page, not just towards the ends. I also didn't like the fact that these little pointed tags were just...well...pointers. You still had to physically write in the book to leave comments. I was past doing that, I already knew I didn't like it, so I gave up on tagging. It was then that it came to me that I could probably use some form of clear, removeable cover to annotate my books. I was thinking a full page cover that I could draw, annotate, and highlight on. Maybe something like sheets of thin, white baking paper, or perhaps something like those plaster sleeves for paper that people use in folders. In my research for such an item I remembered my friend showing me clear sticky notes! Unfortunatly, I couldn't actually find any that were book page sizes, but they do come in standard sticky note size, and can easily be layered together to cover a whole page. I had found my method of annotating!!!

These sticky notes did not solve everything right away. I still had to learn how to use them. I learned immediately that highlighting was out of the game, as the highlighter fluid wouldn't dry before I needed to turn the page, and would therefore bleed and mark other pages. I either had to slow down my reading, or use something else. I turned to bic multi pens. Stick a note, choose a colour, find a line, and underline it! Problem solved, I could now annotate with ease. This did present another problem, however...after a few chapters, the books could no longer close properly. I decided that writing up my annotations would solve the problem, and set out to buy a notebook. The café terrace at night notebook from Waterstones became my victim, and I began writing up my notes so I could remove my sticky notes and eventually close the book properly again. Usually I would be a big advocate against wasting plastic like this, but I researched the sticky notes I'm using and found out that they're widely recycled, because they're made out of the same type of plastic as water bottles! Amazing!

My tagging method is broken down as such:

Put a clear sticky note on the first inside page of the book.

Select what colours I would like to use while annotating (usually ones that match up with the cover's colours), and write what each colour means on the sticky note. -> Typical annotations are "lines I like, comments, research, activities, ideas"

Read, placing sticky notes as needed for annotating.

Write up sticky note annotations key in notebook.

Write annotations in notebook in the same colours used while annotating in the book (with any yellow annotations being written in black and highlighted in yellow for ease of reading)

I used this method of tagging my books solely for the ones I was reading for my dissertation, and basically all leisure reading stopped this year because of said dissertation. Any book I picked up to read leisurely ended up analysed with sticky notes. Writing up the notes became its own little side project as it was taking up too much time, but since submitting my last assignment all I've wanted to do is finish writing up my notes for Leif Bersweden's Where the Wildflowers Grow: My Botanical Journey Through Britain and Ireland. Mostly so I can begin on my notes for The Trespasser's Companion (Nick Hayes) and continue reading it, as that book has ended up with so many notes that it's difficult to annotate new notes. This is honestly a downside to this method, but one I'm willing to work with. I find that I can take a break from reading my book while still enjoying it by writing up my notes. Though I do also absolutely adore Leif's book, and find that writing up my notes allows me to connect with a book more because I'm now looking at it through my own comments, favourite lines, and interesting facts I've found. Basically, I found a way to tag books that sticks with me way more than the more widely-used method of small slips of coloured sticky notes and pens.

Recently, I've started to apply this method to a book I'm actually reading for lesisure - the one my dad chose for our reading challenge. It's The Chimp Paradox, by Professor Steve Peters, which does sound like an educational read, but dad and I have a general interest in subjects concerning the mind. And we both have ADHD and are actively trying to learn more about it. This book helps, the chimp analogy is also one used for ADHD, so I can relate it to that easily. I realised I was having trouble reading for long periods of time despite actively enjoying the book, and I kept finding lines I liked and activities I wanted to take note of. Then I realised I still have clear sticky notes in my pencil case, and I can use them in this book despite having no intention of using it for any assignments. I can still analyse and annotate the book at my leisure and write up notes on it. I started the entire thing again and began to do this, and I'd read the first chapter in no time at all despite my first attempt splitting the first chapter across two days. I felt more connected to what I was reading, too, like I understood it more and was paying closer attention to it. I could take more from what was being said, and had things to say about it. As a bonus, this method of reading will help me connect with my dad more as I always have my notebook in my bag out of habit, so I can actually show him my notes and we can discuss the book in detail without me getting confused and lost.

The likelihood is that tagging my book like this and analysing it when I don't need to is helping me in my enjoyment of reading because it's giving my ADHD something to do during an otherwise quiet and still activity. I'm no longer sitting still, occasionally moving a hand to turn the page or take a sip of tea, a nightmare for my particular brand of ADHD. Instead I'm consciously thinking about the words I'm reading, underlining lines I want to draw attention to or particularly enjoy, and writing comments about what I've just read. It's not much more movement, but it's movement! It's engaging in a way I can't achieve by solely reading the book.

This method of reading has really helped me to understand why people tag their books in the first place, and though it takes longer for me to finish a book because I'm pausing to underline things and write notes, I feel like I can actually say now that I read as a hobby. Already, I want to go back to books I've previously read and go through with sticky notes and pens to draw out my favourite lines and make little comments. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home (Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor) is one that I'm particularly excited to go back to, as I enjoyed it thoroughly and know there's several lines I would like to draw attention to, and comments I'd like to make. I'm also currently reading What The Hell Did I Just Read by David Wong as I came across it in Waterstones and absolutely could not put it back on the shelf after reading the first few lines. I read some of it on a slow journey home, but I am more than happy to start again and do some annotating, I have a feeling it won't be able to close once set down after the first two chapters because of the amount of notes that will be in it. I may have to bulk buy some more sticky notes for this one. I say I'm "currently reading" it, but I've decided to put it down for now as The Chimp Paradox is a university library book, and is therefore on a time limit as I have to return it by a certain date as I'm technically no longer enrolled at my university (my masters application is still processing). I just cannot wait to annotate it, though.

I'll have to come up with a set of rules for myself so I don't end up with several books full of notes all waiting for one specific book to be written up, which is what is sort of happening right now. I have to finish writing the notes for Leif before I begin the ones for Nick or Steve (more likely Steve because of the time limit). I'm pretty sure I have one or two poetry books that need their notes writing up, too, but I own those so they're not on a time crunch for their notes being written. I might also buy another notebook so I can write up the notes for multiple books at once, so a bigger, or more annotated, book doesn't severely delay things. Though this is all thought processes that can wait for a bit. Right now I'm writing up Leif notes when I'm taking a break from reading Steve's book, and that's a good system. Sometimes I'm going to want to write things up rather than read, and that's fine. I also know I'm not going to go back through all the books I've ever read so I can do notes on them. I might not even annotate all the books I read from here on out. It's just something I can do while reading if I choose to do so, not something I must do or I'm not allowed to read the book. That isn't feasable or fair on myself. This isn't a task, it's a hobby.

Speaking of hobbies, this entire blog started out as me wanting to do movie and book reviews, and that plan has yet to come to fruition as I haven't done a single movie or book review. I said in this post that this blog is now for whatever I want to write. I can write anything and, if I want to share it, it goes here. Part of me still wants to do my long winded movie and book reviews, however. I never deleted my Mitchells vs. The Machines review, and am occasionally going back to it to add bits. That being said, I think it will be a lot easier to do book reviews with this method of reading, as I won't have to sift through my brain to try and remember paticular things, nor will I have to spend ages flicking back through the book to find particular quotes. It'll all be in my notebook. I won't promise anything, as this blog is also a hobby, but it's just something else about the way I'm choosing to read my books, now.

CW// Talk of not-so-friendly thoughts, mentions of self harm and eating disorders.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆. ───

I get in my own head a lot. I have a constant stream of not fantastic thoughts. At any point in time my head is telling me I don't deserve to eat, that I should use my cute little craft knife on myself, or that my friends hate me and just pretend they don't so they can avoid me blowing up in anger. It's become my white noise, really. If things get a little too loud I drown everything in music and gaming, get my focus on something else, mentally scream at myself to shut up. I don't like this particular roller coaster, but there's also not a whole lot I can do to get off of it, so I'm sticking around for the ride.

Wierdly, the most annoying thing about this white noise is the fact that it being my default also makes my default as a person a version of myself that isn't truly taking care of themselves. I'm doing enough to get by, constantly. I eat when I get hungry, usually something quick. I go to bed when I'm tired and get up when I can be bothered. Going outside is something I only really do when aboslutely necessary, which means I often view time with friends and partners the same way I do classes and shopping, as something that must be done rather than something I want to do. I know I shouldn't view my personal relationships that way, but I also know that social interaction is important for a healthier mind/set, so I do, unfortunately, view them as chores before I view them as fun activies. My fun activies are limited to alone time in my room, which...isn't that healthy. Don't get me wrong, it's very good and very important to learn how to be alone without spiralling, but getting to the point where you view absolutely everything outside of that as a chore isn't the best. When I'm like this I'm not focusing on the noise, I'm keeping my head just above water and am living functionally. However, I know there's a boat literally right behind me that I can climb in to, I just need to turn around.

That boat, for me, is effort. Not only effort to climb in to, but it embodies effort. It's more effort to make spaghetti bolognese than it is to boil the hell out of some ramen. It's more effort to get up at 6am than it is to get up at 9:30am. It's more effort to keep on top of my meds than it is to just take them whenever and hope there's enough of them in my system to keep my afloat. It's more effort to eat three meals a day than it is to eat one meal and then snack away any hunger that surfaces after. I am very much someone who gets up at 9:30am, makes a coffee, takes my meds, then sits at my laptop all day watching YouTube and maybe playing games. I get hungry around 4pm, make ramen, rice, or toast, and then continue gaming until I get hungry again. That hunger gets satiated with some snack that I don't care too much about. I go to bed anywhere between 11pm and 3am depending on how I feel. If I feel icky that day, I shower. If I remember to, I brush my teeth at some point. It's always the same because that's my default. It's an alright life to live, but the fact I'm not doing much of anything gets to me, sometimes. Especially since I do actually have a layout planned in which I'm doing things, and I want that to be my default.

I want to get up at 6am, entertain myself with a book or watching something until I get hungry at 7, make and eat breakfast, have a coffee, take my meds, then do all the getting changed, and face washing, and teeth brushing that I need to do. Then I want to study until lunch, take a break, eat, do my duties as a committee member on two societies (if I have any that day), and maybe watch something. Tidy away my plate, get back to studying until dinner. When dinner rolls around I clear away my studying for the day and cook, and after that is my time to relax and do what I want for the rest of the day. If I got into my studying and want to continue, I can, but I'm under no obligation to do so because it's after 5pm - I stop studying at this time so I can go to the kitchen and cook something that can be ready by or just after 6. If I wanna play games, I can do that. Sometimes I can take it as an opportunity to do chores. Bed by 11:30.

It's rare I get to live that kind of day. Mostly, I live my default, sometimes I mix the two types of days so I'm waking up at 9:30am and eating breakfast at 10am. That usually makes it so I'm not hungry at 12, so I eat at 2 or 3 instead. I might get some studying done, but I'm definately watching YouTube. I find that I take better care of myself on the mixed days, though. I usually eat breakfast and a hot meal, I shower on these days, I know I've taken my meds and I always brush my teeth twice. Sometimes I take the time to sort through my emails, or try and study a little bit, but more often than not I'll clean my room and get more dishes done than normal. I call it Functioning+. I'm doing more than just staying alive, but I feel I'm not There Yet. I don't have to be There, but I bully myself a lot.

I find that I feel better about myself when I'm Functioning+. I feel less tired and am less likely to get back in bed to nap. I make plans with people because they're the people I love and I want to see them for the sake of seeing them rather than it being because I haven't left my flat for anything other than class in two weeks. My room's less messy and the pile of dishes I always have isn't so big, sometimes it's even gone! It's nice.

I do still bully myself on these days, though.

I think about the fact that I'm so close to living the days I want to live, where I get up at 6, actually do my work, and eat well. I notice that when I eat breakfast and home cooked meals I don't want to snack as much, which makes me feel better about my body and the decisions I make regarding it. I'm taking my iron meds, so I have more energy and feel more present. I'm forgetting things less because I'm actually putting events in my calendar. I'm up to date on classwork and am not panicking about upcoming assignments because I'm doing something about them. It bothers me so much that I'm so, so close to living those days but I'm just not...there. I have to bully myself more to be there. And it's effort to get in the boat (Functioning+) but it's so much more effort to actually paddle to shore (living the days I want to live). I am in my own head all the time, and it is not happy for me no matter how well I'm doing. So I go back. I become Funtional again. My head keeps telling me if I'm not doing to do the days properly I might as well not try and go default. And, yes, default is me. It's me getting by and living on and using music to shut my head up and agreeing to go outside because I really should have gone outside by now. But it's not who I want to be. Games are fun, my bed is comfy, I can live with the mess, and I always have enough food if I'm not eating a lot. But that gets to be too much despite being nothing at all for me. I feel like I'm living at my mum's again, where getting up at 6 is a crime because omg I moved before 12pm and made noise because I flushed the toilet, aaaah! (Yes, my mum gets annoyed that I use the toilet in the morning, or that I boil the kettle, because it makes noise. Even if I don't get up at 6 I could use the toilet before 12 and she'll complain that I woke her up and she couldn't get back to sleep and it's all my fault). So at hers I don't move until she does unless I'm using the bathroom. I have a box of snacks in my room and drinks to tide me over until she wakes up and goes downstairs so I know it's safe to also go downstairs and cook something for myself. But I've already snacked so much, so I'm not hungry, and any subsequent hunger is tamed by more snacks because what's the point in cooking now? I make coffees and go back up to my room to watch YouTube and play videogames. I don't have to be like that at my apartment, though, I'm perfectly free to get up at 6am and do my routine. I just don't have it in me to bully myself like that, anymore, because I know I can get by just fine on default.

So, my head gets louder. It gets angry at me for just defaulting through life and wasting it. I bully myself and do nothing about it. I'm in my own head literally all the time. And on the rare occassion that I do live the days I want to live for a few weeks, my head is quieter. The thoughts are still there, always there, but I don't need music to drown them out as much, I can listen to it because I enjoy it. I can sit in silence and watch the birds landing on the tree outside my window. I can see my friends for fun and I don't get overwhelmed nearly as much. I'm not in my own head, anymore.

//This is probably going to be a long post, and I understand that not everyone is going to agree with my opinion. Please remember that it is just an opinion, I'm not attacking anyone, this post won't impact anyone in any way. Either play nice or get deleted.

-; ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ Spoilers Ahead -; ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

So I, like every other Bee and Puppycat fan, was incredibly excited when I learned that the series would be reanimated and put onto Netflix. I watched the entire original series on YouTube at once via a video that had pasted the episodes one after the other, and I've returned to that video many times since. Not once have I begun that video and left it before it's finished playing through. I absolutely adore the series, I think it's fantastic. I love the slow reveal of what Bee is, I love the hints at Puppycat's past, I adore Cardamon with every fiber of my being. It is an absolutely fantastic show and I could not wait to see its new Netflix version. Apparently it was leaked online so quite a few fans saw the new version months before it came out, but I avoided that because (for once) I wanted to go through the proper streaming services that I knew would be available in time so I could support the creators properly.

The second that Lazy in Space dropped, I sat down and started watching it. And...well...I was dissappointed pretty quickly. I actually stopped paying attention and basically slept through everything, only catching parts of things when I woke up and watched for a few minutes before rolling over and going back to sleep. Don't get me wrong, Lazy in Space is really cool, I still love the art style (mostly, but I'll get to that), and I appreciate that just reanimating the 10 episodes we already had and telling them in exactly the same way wasn't going to happen. Plus, I wanted more from Bee and Puppycat story-wise, anyway, I was excited about the new content! Did not stop my feeling of dissappointment and nap the first time trying to watch it, though. I think I turned it off before I even got to the end because I couldn't get over the dissappointment. Yesterday, however, I decided to give it a proper chance and actually pay attention and watch all the way through. Here's my thoughts:

First off. Bee is now thinner. I only really notice it when she's at the beach while Cardamon is fixing her toilet, but she is thinner. During my first attempt at watching, that part made me finally understand why I felt her design was off and that it wasn't just the slight change in animation style. Just makes me a little :/ Deckard's design feels weird to me, too. At the beginning when we see him he seems super young. I get that this might just be the style of the animator, but it feels so weird. Also, all the other characters look entirely fine to me, I have no issue with their designs in any way. It's literally just Bee and Deckard. Later on I either got used to it or they changed whatever was making him look 13, I'm not entirely sure which it was.

They reveal the story way. too. fast. It's not at all kept a secret that Bee's not human. They even changed the way the Wizard family talk about her to hint to the audience that it isn't just Bee's personality that's strange to them. They call her "young old lady" multiple times, and Deckard has a flashback of Bee taking care of him when he was a baby. I don't know if this is something that was meant to be obvious in the original episodes, but the way it was put into the Netflix episodes felt off. It's accepted that Bee just Is, but they also act like this is totally new information to them. Some of the "hints" at what Bee is might be a little more obvious to people who saw the original episodes, maybe they sort of fly over the head of new viewers, but it is still sort of painted on your face.

Deckard and Bee's relationship is completely different. I never really cared that they liked each other or if they were going to get together, romance is never a story thread I like to follow, but it was part of the show all the same. In the original episodes, Deckard and Bee make comments and blush after, they have awkward "we like each other but shhh" interactions, one of Deckard's main reasons for not wanting to go to the culinary school off the island is because he cares about and feels he needs to be there for Bee. That's totally changed in Lazy in Space. He just sees her as the weird woman and there's no comment about how he shouldn't baby her or give up his dreams for her or she'll be upset. It's just a thing of "aaah, I might not go because it's off the island and stuff" and Bee gives him the acceptance letter that he tried to throw away back and he just...leaves. Just like that. Bye, Deckard.

They completely erase/ brush over a lot of events from the original animation, actually. The arcade episode is completely changed so you don't get to see Bee properly playing her dad's games or anything. She doesn't even open her birthday box, there's just a weird moment where it's saying it's going to explode, Puppycat pushes the button, and it says hello to him. They don't even touch the game that was the centre of that episode, it comes up in another one as one of three options. If I remember right, another episode long temp job, the cherry one, is another of those three options, and the third option is a random job. Two whole episodes were taken and reduced to little references. I appreciate the little references, but I would have liked to see at least one of them fleshed out more than that, even if it didn't play out the same way as it did in the original animation.

THEY GET RID OF THE JELLYFISH STORY. Like, what??? Why did you cut that masterpiece? I adore that snippet. They seem to sort of try and replace it with Puppycat's story to the baby, but it doesn't hit the same. When Puppycat's telling that story you haven't had time to attach yourself to the characters, so it doesn't mean a whole lot. You're just being handed his backstory on a platter and they're not even subtle about it. The Jellyfish story, however, places perfectly. It's really sweet and I'm pissed that they didn't include it in some way, even in a reference.

Cardamon's voice sounded so odd the first time I heard it. I believe it's the same actor across both versions, so I understand the actor grew up and they couldn't do anything about how his voice changed and stuff, it's not something that bothers me massively, it was just something I noticed as soon as he spoke. I got used to it pretty fast.

I feel like the humour centred around Puppycat has been scrubbed a little in some areas and then placed in moments where it isn't really...good. Like when he's on his ship and dancing on all the buttons. They show that moment like three times and it isn't funny any of the three times. It's just smacked on as a "and here is Puppycat". Idk. They changed Bee's humour, too. I feel she's less playful with the way she interacts with things, and her delivery of some lines that cross the two versions is different in a way that makes them less funny in the Lazy in Space episodes.

I wanna just say that I do actually like Lazy in Space, I genuinely think it's really good. It's one of those pieces of media where if I could separate it from the original material that I'm super familiar with, I think I would enjoy it infinitely more. I like that we interact more with the Wizard family. I love seeing Deckard go off to culinary school and watching Bee keep him up to date on their little adventures. Exploring the universe more is super interesting, and I'm so so so happy that we get more Moully!!! I love Moully and their cute little flower blush. Cardamon going to school and actually acknowledging that he's in a weird situation that's really hard on a 7 year old is so good to see. His little anxiety attack in front of Bee absolutely pains me. I love him so much. Moully and Cardamon are the best characters, idgaf.

For me, having watched the original episodes and riding in on the Bee and Puppycat train with a pre-purchased ticket has absolutely had an impact on how I feel about Lazy in Space. It is really good. I'll very likely watch it again! I'm excited for season 2 and hope it comes soon because I really want to see what's going to happen. But it's nowhere near as good as the original episodes and, for me, it never will be. Again, if I could separate it from the original episodes I feel I would enjoy it so much more. With the knowledge of the previous episodes I'd give Lazy in Space maybe a 4/ 10 for the way it covers the old content, and a 7/ 10 for the new, never-before-told stories and reveals. If I looked solely at Lazy in Space, it's score would certainly be an 8 or 9/10, because I really do enjoy it, but I still feel like Puppycat being revealed to be a space outlaw so fast would have hit me as odd and too soon to know that no matter what.

CW// Food, Eating

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

Often, while I'm doing things and going about my life I will have realisations. They're often not big realisations, they're not important, but they can be quite useful. Like the time I realised that the handles on my fridge were sat on top of it and had never been put on, so I put them on. Not big, not important, but useful.

Not all of these realisations are so obvious, either. Of course my flatmates realised that the fridge suddenly had handles, but my realisations don't always impact others. Sometimes they're just for me. Like the realisation I had just now while making myself a coffee and pinging my food in the microwave. I can have little meals.

This might seem silly to you. What do I mean I can have little meals? Surely that's obvious.

What I mean is that I don't have to either go all-out on food or be stuck eating ramen, or toast. I can have a little meal. I can cook a pizza and have two slices of it with a little handful of chips instead of eating the whole pizza. I can have the rest of it later, maybe another two slices with another little handful of chips. And, as a little treat, I can have a trifle cup for desert. I'm going to call them kid meals, because two slices of pizza and a handful of chips is what my mum would have given me when I was a kid. It's what she now feeds my nieces and nephews. It reminds me of when I was their age. It's almost like having a mouse moment when I eat it.

[Started: 11/11/2022 Finished: 01/01/2023] I'm not sure why it's only as I'm sat in class that I think to write about this, though it might have something to do with the fact that I'm sat listening to a man talk about publishing poetry and the way he's talking about it made me think about my copy of Our Numbered Days by Neil Hilborn. I've posted about this sort of thing before, and I think that once I get back to my flat I'll find that old post on another account and repost it here so you can read that one as well. I'm choosing to call this type of thing a phenomenon, in the sense that it is remarkable to me.

Once again, this was going to be a Twitter post, but I have too much to fucking say. So have this.

!! Long Post /Edit: I realise I didn't do the little preface I wanted to do. You do not have to have ADHD to take this advice, it's for everyone. I'm not about to gaslight you out of doing something that might improve your life purely because you don't have ADHD or haven't been diagnosed. If you see something here that you want to use, use it. Some of this stuff isn't just ADHD related, it can be applied in other places. Also, I'm not a professional in any of this, I just live with it, and technically my diagnosis isn't official because all I've had is a doctor go "you have a very very high chance of having ADHD" and then she put me on a 3 year waiting list to find out if I actually have it. I told my therapist and she said to just live as though I have the official diagnosis, so that's what I'm doing. Have fun reading! / ---

1. Close your curtains at 4pm in the winter and use your room lights instead.

If you still need to do work and be active instead of having responsibility mode switch off on you, then do this. I started doing it this year and it helps me so much. For me, my "adult brain" switches off as soon as I realise it's getting dark. A lot of the time this means I stop doing house and university work and either take a nap or play videogames. I think my body goes "OH, NIGHT!" and immediately gets on that melatonin, and I don't want that. It means I'm losing like 10 hours from my productive day because those hours are now dark. I'm a university student, I still have shit to do. But if I see it's getting dark I stop having adult brain and switch into whiney child brain, and that's no good to me at 4pm because I'm still writing assignments and it's dinner in two hours. Since I started closing my curtains at 4pm and using my main light, I'm working and making dinner no problem, and I don't think about sleeping until I see it's 10:30 or 11pm. I also want to emphasise the use of your main light. I find that closing my curtains and turning on lamps and small lights really doesn't help me, I have to use my main bedroom light. Mine's a dimmer light that I have all the way down (which is still pretty bright, it's just not as intense) so if I am having a really hard time concentrating I put it on full brightness and that helps a lot as well.

2. Get an alarm clock with a sunrise feature.

I call them morning mode alarms, but it's the exact same thing. I had a goodmans one for about a year and I got up to the sound of birds tweeting (which was a sound option) at 6am with no issues every single morning. I absolutely loved it and plan on getting another one when I can because since mine broke I've been using my phone alarm and, while it wakes me up, I often don't get up. I usually just switch it off and roll over for another three hours. Having an alarm clock that slowly lights up a decent amount of your room in the ~hour before you actually need to wake up is so useful. The slow brightning of the light doesn't actually disturb your sleep, but when the alarm goes off (I find) you're ready to get up out of bed and start your day. It's especially helpful in the winter, since the sun doesn't rise for another two hours for me. I sleep with my curtains closed (mostly because of tip 1) and there's a small light I can switch on just above my bed, so my alarm will wake me up and I'll switch on that light and get out of bed to start my day. I don't usually think to open my curtains until I sit at my desk to eat breakfast about an hour and a half later, so the fact that it's dark out for most of my morning routine doesn't bother me, and I get to see the sky change colour over the top of my laptop while I answer emails, it's lovely.

Sub points: if you can't get a new alarm clock or find that this type doesn't work, there's other things you can do. My friend found they struggle to get up because their house is too cold in a morning, so they put their heating on a timer so their house is warm for when they wake up. I know someone else who has it so their coffee machine starts making coffee and it's ready for when their alarm goes off. Right now I have an alarm that goes off at 5am because in the hour between that alarm and my 6am wake up alarm I don't have enough time to get back to REM sleep so it's easier for me to get up. These are just tips and advice, you may need to tweak them for them to work for you, or they might not work for you at all, that's okay. They can, at the very least, serve as a basis for further research and can help you better understand how your brand of ADHD works.

3. Have blackout curtains in your bedroom.

Okay, it's weird that I've mentioned curtains twice before putting in this little tip, but it's here now so leave me alone. Blackout curtains are amazing, and I don't care what anyone says. I actually ended up with a pair completely by accident when I lived with my mum, it just so happens the curtains that matched my bedding only came in blackout variety, but now I will never go back. The curtains in my accommodation are blackout right now as well, and I'm actually upset at my accommodation because they're going to be switching these amazing curtains out for shitty roller blinds that block out as much light as a single strand of hair can. Not only will they help you with tip 1, but because they're blackout it means that the 4am sunrise won't disturb your sleep patterns in the summer. They keep a lot of heat in in the winter, while also blocking out a lot of heat in the summer, too. If you need a nap during the day you can just make it be night time in your room. I love them, get some, you shouldn't have anything other than blackout curtains if you can afford a pair.

4. Make boring tasks into short challenges.

I see a version of this hack everywhere. The typical one is "If you're finding it hard to do your dishes, challenge yourself to get them all done before the kettle/ pot of water on the stove finishes boiling". It's a good trick, and there's lots of variety to it! Any task that you don't need to closely monitor that draws to its own end can be used for this. Boiling water, laundry, food cooking, the bath filling up, ect ect ect. While those tasks are running, set yourself the challenge of getting as much of another task done as you can. It's especially good if both tasks happen in the same room and the "timer task" (the one that you don't need to closely monitor) has an ending sound to it. I'm someone who puts food on the hob that I don't really need to monitor, just stir every now and again, so I see if I can do my dishes before that's done. While the kettle boils I wipe down counter tops. While laundry's in I try to get some reading or writing done. I didn't actually know about this hack when I started those habits, it just sort of happened because I'm someone who does their dishes while my food is cooking because I was raised by a caterer and did catering at school, so that's what I grew up with. This naturally developed into "while this is doing it's thing, I'm going to busy myself with another thing". The laundry being paired with reading or writing is because I live in student accommodation and sometimes if I'm not there the second my clothes finish in the laundry room someone will move them, and I don't like that, so I took to sitting in the laundry room while my clothes were in the machines and I found it was the only time I had in the week where I could sit and read. Also, if the timer task isn't in the same room so you won't hear the task's end noise, or it just doesn't have an end noise, work out when it will end and set a timer on your phone, works just as well. I find it's a lot easier to do chores if they're helping me kill time while waiting for something, and the little challenege of seeing how much I can do in that short time span makes it so much more fun.

5. Don't force yourself to sit and do work until it's finished.

Not only can this lead to you thinking that getting food/ a drink upon the completion of your task is a reward rather than something you have to do to survive, but it can also negativly impact your work and mental health. If you're finding it hard to sit and work for long periods of time, then simply don't do that. You don't have to be sat at your desk for an entire hour, constantly working, for it to count. Once again, timers are your friend, here. If you want to do an hours work and simply cannot concentrate or are having difficulty staying on one task for that long, then cut up the hour. I don't mean cuts of working for 30 minutes, resting for 5, then doing another 30 minutes of work, either, the cutting up of your hour doesn't need to be clean. Just set a timer on your phone and do some work with it going for a while. When you find yourself getting tired, or annoyed, pause the timer and go do something else for a little while. Get up and walk around, have a stretch, get a snack, refill your drink, have a shower, do a puzzle (sudoku, crossword, wordsearch, word jumble, ect). It's important that you actually get up and move away from the work for your break, don't just switch tabs or close the books and push them aside because your brain needs to actually register that you're not working and that this is a rest. Switching to Twitter on the same screen you've been staring at for 10 minutes won't work as well as going to sit on your bed and scrolling on your phone for a bit. I try to keep screens out of it altogether, but you don't have to. Once the mental dust has settled and you feel ready to get back to it, set the timer going again and work until you once again feel you need a break. By the way, if your work is writing based, don't ever leave to take a break while a sentence isn't finished, or you might not remember what you were trying to say when you come back. Once you've registered you need a break, finish the sentence and take the break. You can take as many breaks as you need at any point while your timer is going, and it might take you 8 hours to complete that 1 hour of work, but you did a solid hour of work and that's an achievement. I would also pause the timer if you ever notice you've gotten distracted, then take a break. I like to add on a minute or two if that happens, but you don't really have to.

I do realise that this might not be a good way to work for some people, and that it may actually be counterproductive. There are some tips coming up that can be used with/ instead of this one, so just stick around. But if you find that this timer method doesn't work, but forcing yourself to sit for an hour does, I do have advice for that here. Minimise your distractions. There's an app called Forest that you can use that basically locks you out of your phone for however long you've set the timer for. You pick a plant (you start with two kinds, I believe, but you can unlock more), set the timer, and go. You have to kill that plant to use your phone, and you get a garden for the day that your plants, dead or not, will show up in. So you have to make the conscious decision to have this dead plant in your garden if you want to use your phone. If you set the timer for long enough you'll grow multiple plants. You can change around some settings so your plant doesn't die if your phone rings and things such as that, but it is basically just an app that can stop you from using your phone. It's also available as a Chrome extension and the accounts can be connected. I have to set a timer on my phone and my Chrome seperately for each of them to be going, but all the plants from both timers show in the garden. Also, the Chrome version will let you "allow" some sites. I have YouTube allowed because I listen to colour noise and music while I work. Also, colour noise is amazing for while I'm working. I put on 12 hours of brown, white and pink noise (there's a video on YouTube with all three playing) and play it quietly under a Lofi or ambience video, it really improves my concentration.

6. Body double someone if you're finding it hard to sit down and work.

Body doubling is a form of parallel play, and parallel play is when a person plays alongside or near others but does not play with them. So basically it's when you and your friend(s) hang out in a room but one of you is scrolling your phone, another's playing games, someone's reading, ect ect. You're hanging out, but your activities aren't the same. So the other person doesn't need to be working on the same thing as you, they don't even really need to be doing work (though I find it helps more if they are, or are doing a task that they need to actually concentrate on). I sometimes sneakily body double people by going to the library and sitting near a person/ group that is doing work quietly. Usually, though, I ask a friend to join me at the library so I can body double them. We sit together with our earphones in and do our own thing, and if my friends see me getting frustrated they can encourage me to take a short break. Likewise, if I get confused, they let me rubber duck them. Rubber ducking is a concept that programmers use when they need to work out bugs in their code. It states that they should read their program line-by-line to a rubber duck to figure out an issue, and this will often lead to them spotting the issue more easily. It doesn't just apply to programming, and you don't necessarily need a rubber duck (though I do have several and also use this method while alone to work out my grammar). Rubber ducking my body double helps a lot for me because I can't often properly translate what I want to say into a more professional form for my essay, and I often forget what word I want to use, so my friends can help me work it out. Very good for studying.

7. Stop saying "I'll do this at [exact:time]"

When your ADHD kicks in and you inevitably lose track of time and miss that exact time by a few minutes, you'll put it off until another exact time. We usually say that we'll start tasks on the hour or half hour marks, don't do that. They're very pretty times for getting things done, but if you keep putting off the task by 30-60 minutes and lose track of time multiple times, your day will be gone quickly and you won't have done the task. Instead, we can either make the exact times shorter by doing series of 5 minutes instead of series of 30 minutes, ex: "It's currently 6:02pm, I will start my task at 6:05", or we can set physical timers and say we will start our task when that timer ends. Again, I recommend the timer be 5 minutes or less. I also recommend setting the physical alarm over giving yourself another exact time that you might miss. For some reason our ADHD doesn't say "the exact time we said we'd do this has passed, so we better start", it instead says "the exact time we said we'd do this has passed and we didn't begin the task at that very specific time, we have missed the opportunity to start that task and now must wait until [new:exact:time]". The short timer on your phone means you aren't waiting for long enough to forget you're meant to be doing something soon (my ADHD is saying bet, but the point is there), you have something to encourage you to start, and the mentality of you needing to get something done hasn't yet left you. It also allows you to mentally prepare for the fact you're going to be starting a task, which helps you better transition from not doing a task to doing one.

8. Timers, timers, timers.

WITH DIFFERENT ALARM TONES. Different alarm tones are so important. And set a timer for everything you need to remember to do in your day if you feel you need to. I personally have an alarm for waking up, eating lunch, and eating dinner. My phone also has a wake up and go to bed function where a quiet notification pops up saying it's nearly time for bed at 11pm as I try to be in bed for 11:30pm. That quiet notification will get seen by me whenever I check my phone, and I'll then have it in my head that I need to slowly pack up whatever I'm doing and get ready to go to bed. My phone can also start playing sleep sounds if I choose, but I usually play rain sounds on my TV as it's next to my window and sounds more realistic. You might notice I didn't say I have an alarm for breakfast. I used to, but I decided to do away with it as it wasn't very useful to me and I used to try and force myself to get breakfast the second I woke up, which made me really nauseous. Eventually I realised that about 40-60 minutes after I woke up I would feel myself get hungry. When that happened it would be safe for me to eat without feeling sick, so I would make food and eat. So there's no more breakfast alarm for me because I can pay attention to that morning hunger as my mornings don't tend to have a lot happening in them as I wake up at 6am. Lunch and dinner have alarms because by that time I'm usually outside or doing tasks that require focus, so those alarms remind me of the time and tell me I need to eat. I know people who have alarms for more things, such as brushing their teeth, taking their meds, drinking water, ect, and that's fine! You set alarms as you feel you need them, and don't be afraid to add or subtract alarms depending on your needs. There are also apps that can serve as your alarms or reminders if that better suits you. Different alarm tones are important as the sound of the alarm will be the thing that reminds you of the task. If you just have named alarms that all have the same sound, they're easier to ignore because you can switch off an alarm without reading its label. However, if you have a specific sound for each alarm, then the sound will also serve as a reminder and the alarm doesn't just become an annoying noise, but something you associate with a need to do something specific. This is especially effective with food alarms as your brain will begin to associate that sound with a meal and you'll get hungry, so will be more likely to get up and eat, even if it's something small.

9. Store things visually.

I honestly had no idea what to call this hack, but this is sort of the best way to say it. People with ADHD don't have fantasic object permanence, so when we put things in drawers and behind doors and behind other items, we forget we have them. This can lead to us "losing" things a lot more, which can lead to a lot of frustration. Even having a closed wardrobe is irritating for me because I forget I have a bunch of clothes and end up wearing the same cycle of clothes for weeks on end because they're on my chair. At my mum's house I have a shelf with a rail hanging under it that acts as my wardrobe and when I first got it not only did I find that I was wearing more of my clothes, but I was actually putting my clothes away as well. Since I realised this I've been switching out anything I can't see through for storage. My wire and makeup boxes are both clear. So are my underwear drawers. So are my jewellery drawers. It just makes things so much easier. I also have hooks around my room that hold things like my lanyards and keys. My keys are on the back of my door so I see them while opening my door and remember to grab them, and my landyards are next to my wardrobe for the same reason. Storing things in clear containers and putting items where you're likely to see them when you need them is so helpful, and has taken a lot of frustration out of my life. Colourful items help a lot as well. I have a medication box that's rainbow and is kept on my bedside table so I'll notice it in a morning, my thermos is bright so I can spot it in my bedroom, my lanyards are bright so I can see them when I glance in my bag. It's just so much easier when you can see what you own and have items that will catch your attention.

10. Optimise your phone screen(s).

Another one that might sound quite weird, but I'll make it make sense. And also this only really applies to Android users, I guess, because I know you can't do much with iPhones and also I don't have one so I don't really know how they really work. But optimise your phone screen(s) to fit with your ADHD. If you're a forgetful person who can't remember when you have appointments and classes, or when you said you'd hang out with someone, get your calendar and put its widget (NOT app. Widget.) on your home screen. Put all your appointments, classes, and other events in there the second you find out they're happening and everything will be right there on your opening screen as a reminder whenever you unlock your phone. As a bonus and way to add tip 9 into this, colour code the reminders! You can even have your calendar send you a notification at a set time before the event is due to happen. Mine has classes, plans, birthdays, appointments, everything. I love it so much. Found out my dad does the same and we independently decided that this was a thing that we needed to do that would help us. I also use an app called DailyBean as my mood tracker but always forget to fill it in, so I put its widget on my home screen as well. That way I can just click the widget in the afternoon and fill in my day, and I get a cute little collection of ghosties gathering on my screen as a bonus! I also have my main two apps (yes, apps this time) on my home screen, which are Spotify and my podacasts app, so I don't need to search through everything to find and use them. Likewise, my bottom row of apps aren't actually apps, they're folders. Those folders are: Entertainment, Games, Social, and Useful. The titles speak for themselves, and each folder contains apps (in alphabetical order, because that's also easier for me) that relate to their titles. These folders when put together don't actually contain every app on my phone, but they're 90% of the ones I use and I rarely open my apps drawer to find something. Right at the top is the time and weather widget, which speaks for itself. I have one screen when I unlock my phone, which makes things nice and easy for me. Your optimisation might be different, but that's how mine works. I actually try to optimise my entire phone when I get a new one by going into the settings and playing around. I have the night light filter on 24/7, my apps drawer is in alphabetical order, and I even found and turned on an "on the body" detector that warns me to not use my phone while walking and lights up my lock screen whenever I lift my phone. Super useful, absolutely recommend you have a wander through your phone's settings.

11. Create capture areas.

You likely already have one of these, especially if you have ADHD, but there's a more specific meaning to this than that one drawer you never organise. If you're someone who ends up with loads of little bits you need to empty from your pockets, or put into your pockets when you're going out, have a little bowl by your door where you put them. I need my wireless earphones, keys, wired earphones (a backup if my wireless die), lip balm, and wallet. I also need my phone but that's always right next to me. I said earlier that my keys go on the back of my door, but the rest of this is usually bunched together on my bedside table so I can just grab them and go rather than having to run around looking for everything. It makes it easier for me to get ready when I know where all my stuff is. It also makes it so they have an area to be put away, and them being there isn't something that can be labelled a mess. At my mum's I also have a mail holder by the front door, so when it comes in I can just pick up the mail and put it in it's holder to deal with later. At my accommodation my mail is downstairs, so I just read it on the way back to my flat and the put it in the documents folder if needs be when I get back. Weirdly, having multiple bins also applies here. Having just one bin is annoying for me, because there are multiple places for me to be in my home, so I put small bins in multiple areas in the house so I don't leave rubbish on counters. When I take out the big bin I put the bags for the small bin in the top so I'm not carrying loads of bags. I also have recycling boxes both in my kitchen and in my bedroom.

Omg, my first review on this blog. I was going to post the review I put on the Loop website after they sent me an email asking how I was finding them, then go into further detail here, but I submitted the review without copying the text first, so I guess you don't get to actually see it, but here's a summary: I waited until Guy Fawkes Night to review because the fireworks show was to be the main test of my earplugs. They worked fantastically! I bought the Experience Pro because I wanted the mute add on so I could use it during fireworks shows. They turned all the loud bangs and squeals into something quite quiet that I could cope with without getting really scared and leaving.

I also use my Loops without the mute add on during class so I can focus on what my lecturer is saying without the construction noises making me overwhelmed, and I use them as an everyday thing on days that I can't cope with being outside but still have things I need to get done. Basically, these are some really great earplugs and I love them.

Finally, my original order actually went missing. I live in accommodation and I suspect they were delivered and then stolen by someone else who lives here. I contacted support and they sent out my exact order again, which was super nice of them and I didn't expect anything like that at all. -------End of website review summary-------

I want to go into further detail about my experience and opinions of Loops here because I felt bad for the length of my review on the website, they tend to only show ones that are in the "short and sweet" genre, so mine will likely be missed by a lot of buyers. This, however, might turn up if someone decides to do outside research before making their purchase.

First of all, I regret buying the carry cord. You can't choose to include the carry cord in your purchase as a drop down option like you can with the colour of your Loops, and instead need to add it as an item to your basket. As far as I can tell, no version of Loop Earplugs come with a carry cord included, and I think I know why. I don't actually use the carry cord at all, and quickly attached my Loop case to my keys as they're on a reel clip (a retractable keychain that I wear on my jeans) anyway, so it hasn't actually been worth it to buy the carry cord. Also, you can't put your Loops on the carry cord if they have the mute add-on inserted. You'd have to take the mute add-on out if you want to put your Loop earplugs to hang on the carry cord. It isn't that tedious because you can reinsert the mute add-on really easily after you've put your earplugs back in, but I can see why someone might dislike that. From my personal perspective, don't get the carry cord. It's basically a thick rope lanyard that only holds your Loop case and your earplugs. The earplugs are held on a ring and are just...out in the open. It'd be better to put them in the case and have them in your bag or pocket. If you want easy access to them then attach them to your bag or something. If you wear a lanyard frequently, then put them on your regular lanyard. I have several lanyards that I swap and change depending on my mood, so it's better for me to put them on my reel clip rather than fiddle with moving them to whichever lanyard I want to use or risk forgetting them. The carry cord only just fits over my head, too, and it isn't that comfortable. If you really want them to be hanging around your neck I would honestly put them on the lanyard you usually wear. If you don't tend to wear a lanyard, just buy one, they're pretty cheap usually and you can get one that you like rather than having to have just a plain black carry cord around your neck (it only comes in one colour). Having a lanyard when you don't need one for work/ education is pretty useful because you can hang your earplugs, hand sanitizer, pen, keys, torch, pendrives, or anything else that usually ends up in the bottom of your bag from it! You can even buy a phone holder to hang from it and have easy access to your phone while you're out! It basically saves you having to root around for things that you might need quickly. I don't like having a bulky lanyard, so I have a reel clip on my hip where I have my keys, a pendrive, a bottle opener, my Loop earplugs case, and my Tescos clubcard, then my lanyard has my ID card and some hand sanitizer and I keep a torch in my pencil case, which I always have with me. Sometimes I move my ID card to my reel clip if I'm having a sensitive day and can't deal with the feel of something on the back of my neck, then I have hand sanitizer in my bag. This is all an adjacent topic to Loop earplugs, but I feel it's generally useful information, so consider it a freebee.

Secondly, if you haven't ever worn earplugs before, be prepared for a bit of a weird experience. I have the Experience Pro Loop earplugs, and they're advertised as being good for music and events, focus, noise sensitivity, and motorcycling. They're on the higher end of the noise reduction scale, basically, and apparently can "reduce noise by 18 decibels evenly across low, medium, and high frequencies". The Loop mute accessory is said to add an "extra 5dB of noise reduction". Just wearing the Experience Pro, no mute add-on, makes my voice sound odd to me and makes it so I can hear a quiet static-like noise constantly. Everything sounds quite foggy, and it is a strange experience. I can hear other people just fine, it mostly gets rid of background noises. I'm wearing them with the foam ear tips while writing this review because I have an upstairs neighbour that must wear bricks for shoes, and I can barely hear their banging with them in, but it is still there. I've only had to turn my TV up slightly. With the mute add-on in I can't hear the banging at all (unless I really focus on trying to hear it), and I've had to turn my TV up more to be able to hear the talking clearly. The static-like noise is louder, if I get nervous I can very much hear my heart beat, and last night I could hear the richochet(?) of my foot hitting the floor when I walked. My voice also sounds super muffled and I have a little trouble with how loud I'm speaking because I can't properly hear how loud I am against how loud everything else is. With people who are new to earplugs this usually leads to talking too loud/ shouting, but because I am used to earplugs it actually leads to me over-compensating for the fact I can't hear how loud I am and I end up muttering/ speaking too quiet even though it sounds to me like I'm speaking normally. Really weird sensation. You do pretty much forget that you're wearing them if you're wearing the right sized silicone ear bud though, which is nice. The foam ones are a little more uncomfortable, but I'll get to that later. Also, if you can't deal with the ringing/ being able to hear your heart beat stuff, I would stop looking at earplugs and instead get in-ear earphones. They're not as subtle, but they can be pretty discreet and they'll allow you to quietly play music, which will mostly negate the ringing/ heart beat.

Apparently some people have had trouble with the carry case coming open, but I haven't had that issue as of yet and the case has been on my reel clip for about three weeks. Maybe that's a thing that comes with the wear of use? If it happens to mine I'll come back and comment on this post to tell you. For right now it's actually taking a second to get my carry case open because it's a small and fiddly thing with a good clip. The carry case is a flat-ish disk that can hold your Loop earplugs and a pair of the mute add-ons (I got two sets of mute add-ons with my experience pro, a white set and a black set) pretty comfortably. From the looks of it you won't be able to fit in two pairs of ear tips quite as nicely, though. For a while I only ever had the foam earplug ends on my Loops, and they come out of the case a little bit squished, but it didn't stop me from being able to use my earplugs because the foam reshapes pretty fast once the earplugs are out of the case. Both the case and the earplugs are pretty small, with the case being smaller than even the label on my lip balm. On the site everything looks quite large, but it's really not. This is another reason I do recommend either putting the case on a lanyard or on a reel clip rather than throwing it in your bag, it'll be much easier to find.

The earplugs being small also means they're quite subtle. You'll notice that the photos of Loop earplugs in use all have the camera facing the side of the models face, or their head is tilted to show the earplug. You hardly notice them if you're looking at someone face on. When I look at myself directly in the mirror I can only see the smallest sliver of silver in my ear, and that's me looking for my Loops. The default colours that cover most ranges are silver, black, gold, and pink. I got the silver because I decided to sort of treat them as jewellery, and I prefer silver jewellery, but they're so subtle that you don't really need to worry about the colour, it is just a matter of preference. I think the colour of Loop might correspond with the colour of the case you'll get, because you can get the case in black, pink, red, light blue, dark blue, and grey when you look at the individual listing of it. I can't be certain of this because I bought silver Loops but was sent a black case, so it could be that if you want to have a specific case colour you'll have to buy it seperate, but I really don't know. The listings of the earplugs don't come with a separate "case colour" option, and I'd like to assume that if I chose pink Loops I'd get a pink case, but that may not be how it works. The earplugs being subtle means I've been able to wear my Loops in class without my lecturer asking me to take out my earphones, leading to a slightly embarassing explaination of "actually these are earplugs, I'm neurodiverse and the sounds of nearby construction is more interesting to my ADHD than William Wordsworth is, apparently". I can't with 100% certainty guarentee that your higher up (be that a teacher or boss) won't notice that you have them in and question/ scold you over it, but so far that hasn't happened to me. If you're struggling to choose a colour, treat them like a functional accessory and choose that way. Do you have gold rimmed glasses? Get gold. Do you prefer silver jewellery? Get silver. Is your phone rose gold (basically pink)? Get pink. Do you wear a lot of black? Get black. Simple. The Quiet range offers more colours, the Experience - Elements only comes in red and dark blue, the Quiet - Elements only offers red, and the Loop x Tomorrowland only offers black with a gold detail at the time of writing this review, but the rest all offer those standard four colours I mentioned earlier. Like with the individual case listing, the individual silicone tips + mute add-on listing offers the wider range of colours. I think in this case you'll always be default sent the black silicone tips and a set of white and black mute add-ons. I don't think you can change the colour of the foam tips at all. There's a whole lot of choice, but you honestly don't have to worry about getting the colour that makes them more subtle, just get the colour you like best. Honestly, I've been talking to a friend extensively about these earplugs recently, which means I've been back on the site and seen the Engage range, and it's led to me sort of wanting to get another pair of Experience because I now have gold rimmed glasses and think a gold pair would look cute. If you have the money you can absolutely do that, but that's another thing that's personal preference. If I had the money, I'd be buying a gold Experience pair, and maybe a pair of black Engage, which are apparently suited to conversation, social gatherings, noise sensitivity, and parenting. I really don't know what that last one means, but they generally seem like a more "everyday" earplug that look a little more stylish because of their see through design. I wouldn't need the Pro or Plus versions because I have the Experience Pro and all of their accessories, I'd just be switching them depending on which Loops I want to wear that day.

Speaking of choice, if you're having trouble deciding which Loop earplugs are right for you, they literally have a quiz for it. I was struggling to decide between the Experience and Experience Pro (the Engage/ Engage Plus weren't out when I was ordering), so I took the quiz. It's the "Help me choose" tab at the top of the page. I can't remember what I said on the quiz, and the results might have changed now that the Engage collections are out, but I was recommended the Experience Pro. The difference between the Experience and the Experience Pro is that the Experience gets you the earplugs, 4 silicone ear tips, and the case, whereas the Pro adds 3 foam ear tips, and two sets of Loop mute add-ons. The difference is £9, which isn't too much, and it's only 5p more than buying them individually while getting regular Experience earplugs, plus you only get one set of Loop mute add-ons if you buy them separate, so that extra 5p for an extra set of mute add-ons is worth it in my opinion.

The mute add-ons do make the sound reduction more obvious to me. Like I said earlier, I have to turn my TV up more when I have the mute add-ons and foam tips in. If you're looking for noise reduction for concerts and crowds, I'd get the Pro/ Plus versions of your earplugs. The sound and comfort difference is also very obvious when exchanging the silicone tips for the foam ones. The silicone tips are far comfier, allowing me to wear my loops for longer, but they don't reduce sound quite as much. You can just put your earplugs in, though, rather than having to squish and hold them like you do with the foam earplugs (you basically put them in like you would actual foam earplugs, they just don't go in nearly as far). For the fireworks show I wore both the foam ear tips and the mute add-ons, but sat here in my bedroom while I write this I'm wearing the silicone ear tips and the mute add-ons. After the fireworks show I had to take my earplugs out pretty quickly because they were beginning to irritate me a little. They didn't exactly hurt, but they were not exactly the most comfortable. The silicone tips obviously feel just like in-ear earphones, and I can wear those for hours at a time without an issue. I'd say the foam ear tips are for short-term use, personally, but they're really good to have. I made the mistake of thinking I should only be using the foam ear tips, but I had trouble balancing being able to hear my lecturer while not being able to ear the outside construction in class (I couldn't hear my lecturer), and I realised that I can also use the silicone ear tips, which is why they come in different sizes as well. Not sure why that didn't click at first.

I have slept with my Loops in. It was only for about two hours, but I've done it and they stayed in and didn't cause me any discomfort. I'm a side sleeper, too, so that's really important. It's safe to sleep with earplugs in, so don't worry about that. The only thing to really watch out for is earwax build-up. If you're using Loops/ earplugs 24/7, you'll likely get build-up, and that can cause irritation and other issues. Just make sure to take out your earplugs and give your ears a little clean (usually just an exterior wipe with a cloth soaked in warm water) if you're going to be wearing them really frequently. If your ears need a more thorough clean please, do not use cotton buds. Yes, they are bringing out some of the earwax, but for the most part they're just moving it about or pushing it further in. My mum used to use bobby pins in our ears, but they're not exactly safe, either. It gets more out, but it can still push stuff in and scratch up your ear. If you don't frequently use earplugs/ in-ear earphones/ buds, you generally don't really need to clean your ears, they tend to just clean themselves naturally. If you do need to clean your ears, though, you can either go to your doctor and get a flush (which is such an odd sensation and only needs to be done if you're having issues due to build-up), or you can use some warm water to loosen the wax and then tilt your head to the side to drain it out, which you can do in the shower. Chewing also helps move wax about in your ear, which is another reason why you don't really need to clean your ears unless you're using earplugs/ earphones/ buds regularly. As someone who prefers in-ear earphones/buds, and now uses earplugs, I do have to clean my ears once or twice a week. But I do also wear those earphones/buds for 8 hours a day, sometimes more. Anyway, the point is that you can absolutely sleep with your Loops in, it's safe and (for me, at least) pretty comfortable. I'm probably going to be doing this more often because I have a few upstairs neighbours that wear bricks as shoes.

Generally, I really like my Loops. I've not had too many chances to wear them, but the fact that I could watch the fireworks without getting scared and the fact that I can wear them in my flat and suddenly pretend like I don't have noisy neighbours is really awesome. I was a little silly and didn't realise I could just wear the silicone ear tips instead of using the foam ones all the time, but that's just me being unobservant. If you've used earplugs before, I highly recommend moving to these. They look nicer and are reuseable, unlike most foam earplugs. Plus, they're comfier. When I have my Loops in I can wear a pair of headphones and hear my music just fine (if muffled with the foam tips and mute add-ons in). My headphones are pretty noise resistant anyway, but when I have my Loops in as well I can legit only hear my music/ game/ whatever I'm listening to and it's bliss. I honestly give them five stars. -------TL:DR------- ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Don't buy the carry cord. If you want your Loops readily available, either put them on your lanyard (or buy one to put them on because lanyards are useful anyway), or put them on your reel clip.

If you've never worn earplugs before, be prepared to be told you're shouting, and for the fact you can hear a ringing noise and also maybe your heartbeat. If you can't deal with these, don't buy earplugs and just get in-ear earphones so you can quietly play music and negate these things.

The case is really small, so I really do recommend putting it on a lanyard or reel clip. It can hold the earplugs and mute add-ons fine, but you might not be able to carry both the silicone and foam ear tips in it (I'm not fully sure as I haven't tried).

The earplugs are really subtle, which is a very nice feature and means you don't have to worry about the colour outside of personal preference.

There's a lot of choice, but the carry cord only comes in one colour and it might be that you can't actually choose the colour of your case, because I got silver earplugs but a black case. You can't choose the colour of your mute add-ons or silicone ear tips and will have to buy the mute style pack or silicone ear tips + mute add-ons pack if you want to have something other than black or white. If you want these things and don't care about the colours, it's better to get the Pro/ Plus versions of your earplugs.

If you can't choose, there's a quiz at the top of the page, it's the "Help me choose" tab.

The silicone tips are comfier, and can be worn for longer, but the combination of the foam tips and mute add-ons really ups the noise reduction levels. I'd wear the foam tips for shorter periods of time, personally. The mute add-ons don't impact comfort.

Someone on twitter just got a kitten for the first time and asked for advice, and I left like four tweets with the most important things I remember right now, but now it's made me want to talk extensively about cat care, so suffer. The first thing to note is that, no, cats are not an animal you should get if you just want a pet and not a companion. If you're getting an animal just to fill an empty space in your home, then start buying plants. People who get cats and then ignore them until they (the person) wants a bit of attention really irritate me, because it more often than not leads to cats who are at best unsociable, or at worse are downright terrified of every other living creature. I've seen every aspect of this because I know people who have gotten a cat and have only bothered to feed it and change it's litter, maybe get it a few little toys, and haven't really interacted with the cat at all. A cat needs interaction just like a dog does, it's true that they're not as demanding of your attention, but that doesn't mean you can treat them like you would a flatmate that you don't quite call your friend. Interact. With. Your. Cat. The more you interact with it as a kitten, the cuddlier and calmer it'll be as an adult. Obviously you might not want a super duper cuddly and affection demanding cat. The general rule for how affectionate your cat is going to be is that it's going to mirror how you treated it as a baby. If you keep your kitten on your lap and let it sleep there a lot, it'll continue to do that as an adult. If you're constantly picking your kitten up and cuddling it and fussing, it'll want that as an adult. If you have a mutual agreement of "we both live here and sometimes like a little loving" as a kitten, that'll be your cat as an adult. This also plays into whether or not your cat will be an indoor or outdoor cat. If you never let it outside, it likely won't be interested in what's out there and prefer to stay inside. If you let it outside all the time it'll always want to go outside, and may prefer to relieve itself in the grass rather than the litter tray (always keep a litter tray anyway, just in case).

The second thing to note is that cats can be trained, and I don't just mean training them where they can and can't go to the toilet. They can respond to their name, sit, fetch, handshake, play dead, the whole lot. Dogs are absolutely more receptive to training, but cats can do it too. The cats I've had have always, at the very least, been able to respond to their name. Currently, if you stand in my mum's house and shout a cat, it will appear. Sometimes we stand in the kitchen with intent to give treats and can shout each cat (there's three of them) individually and they'll appear in the kitchen in that order. They'll even meow at us to let us know they've arrived. Even if you don't want to go through the entire tricks list, teach your cat its name. You don't even have to use treats, just giving them a good rub down after they respond/ whenever you say their name will be enough to get them to learn it. I 've also managed to teach two of my cats what "bed" means, and when I say I'm going to bed or that it's bedtime, they run upstairs and jump up on my bed, and Houdini will yell at me while I do my nightly routine and chat to mum because she wants me to get in and turn off the light. Enya was taught to jump up to my chest so I could hold her and give her cuddles, just two pats on my chest and she'd jump up so I could catch her and give her some love (this did lead to her mistaking my brother scratching his back for an invite to cuddle and clawing her way up his bare skin, though, which was an unpleasant shock for him).

You're probably going to waste your money if you buy actual cat toys. They can be good, sure, but a lot of cats don't really bother with them. You want a good cat toy? Get a lazer pointer. Obviously just don't shine it in their eyes. Make the dot move around the floor a bit and most cats will happily chase it around. I had a cat that loved it so much that when my watch clicked (it was a diving watch or something and I always rotated the disc out of habit) she would go mental and look for the little red dot. Eventually she realised it was my watch and would instead jump up on my lap to investigate it. That same cat also loved chasing balls of tinfoil around. Any time we used it in cooking and she heard the crinkle she'd come running and wait for us to turn it into a ball and flick it off down the hallway, and she'd bat it around for ages. She was in her prime with them. You can buy cat toys if you'd like, but usually they get played with for a few days and then completely ignored.

Not all cats respond to/ like catnip. Some go insane for it, others couldn't care less. Some people think that a cat will 100% play with a toy with catnip in it only to find that their cat really doesn't care. Buy a small bag of it and see how your cat responds before buying any toys with it in, just to check.

Defleaing your cat doesn't have to happen just when they get fleas. Treating the fleas is important, but you should really be defleaing your cat every month. Some people go the extra step and get a flea collar, which is meant to help prevent fleas, but just using the tablets or the gel should be enough. Also, if you suspect your house does have fleas, put a bowl of warm (not hot) water on the floor with a little hand (gel) soap mixed in and leave it for 15 minutes. The fleas are attracted to the warm water, as heat is how they find their pray, and the soap creates a layer on the surface of the water that traps and suffocates them. Make sure your cat doesn't try to drink it, the soap will make them sick. If there's little black things with tiny legs (they kinda look like small seeds) in the water after 15 minutes, your house has fleas and you need to work to get rid of them. Our family typically puts down multiple bowls of warm water and soap, treat the cats, and then hoover furniature, wash sheets and curtains, and shampoo carpets. We live next to a large field and two of our cats go out frequently, so during the summer we usually get a small infestation. Also, fleas are more likely/ active in the summer, so be extra careful. When disposing of the flea water we tend to flush it down the toilet rather than putting it down the sink. Another way to check for fleas is to give your cat a rub down and feel their skin, if there's something there that feels like grains of sand but is black, it's most likely flea poo. If you're using the little bottle things with liquid in to treat your cat, put it just above their shoulder blades and rubrubrubrubrub that small spot with the end of the bottle to ensure it soaks into the fur there and hits the skin. Putting it there is the best way to make sure your cat doesn't lick it off. If they do lick it off, their mouth might foam and they might vomit as the medicine isn't very good for them to ingest. If this happens (or you see them licking the medicine) you should call up the vet and see if you need to take your cat in, or if you can do something at home to help them. Fleas can get out of hand fast, so defleaing monthly and getting rid of any that might still appear is vitally important.

Cats are clumsy! People for some reason don't believe this, but they are! They can be dumbasses, you've seen videos, don't believe your cat is a trained and poised little ballerina that won't break your stuff, it WILL. If you have fragile ornaments, don't have them on the ends of surfaces. Don't trust your cat and your drink near your computer. Don't think that you can just put up your Christmas tree with no securing and be fine. Your cat will break things, they don't mean to but they will. If they do, do NOT yell at them and freak out! You can very much make your cat scared of you, and if you do then that damage is irreparable. Breathe, clean up the mess, check if your cat is okay, comfort them. Especially if something smashed/ shattered, because bits of it could be in their paws and the noise likely scared the crap out of them.

On another note: get your cat used to you touching their paws! It's important so you can check them and make sure nothing's wrong. Especially fluffy cats might need you to trim the fur between their pads occasionally, and you should always make sure there's no ingrown nails happening. If you cat steps on something and needs help getting it out, it'll be much easier to do so if they're already used to you touching their paws. This also works with their belly. It's widely believed that cats hate when you touch their stomach, but they only dislike it because no one does it when they're younger. Just like with touching their paws, training them to respond to their name, yadda yadda yadda, rubbing a cat's belly when it's a kitten will get them used to it and make it so they don't dislike it when they're older.

Pay attention to what your cat is telling you. If you're cuddling your cat and suddenly it's not interested, then stop. If you don't then it'll just scratch you and leave anyway. Even the most cuddly cat in the world will want some time to itself. It's not playing games, it's wanting to be left alone. If your cat's asleep, don't just pick it up and start interacting with it, let it sleep. You can give it a little stroke, sure, but I always see people go "AWWWH, KITTY'S ASLEEP?! I WANT TO PLAY! LET ME JUST PICK THEM UP AND PLAY ANYWAY!!!". Stop. Don't do it. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you. A little scratch on the head or a stroke is fine, and the cat probably won't mind, but fully disturbing its sleep because you want attention is just mean and rude. Often, with Houdini, I'll give her a little stroke and if she lifts her head I'll invite her over to continue her nap closer to me/ on my lap so we're hanging out, then I'll do my own thing while she continues to snooze. This doesn't just apply to cuddling and boundaries, by the way. If your cat absolutely refuses to use the litter tray, change the type of litter you're using. If it's an enclosed/ carry box tray, maybe take off the front door or the lid (I've had a few cats who don't like enclosed trays, but are fine using them once the cover is gone). If they won't eat the food you're putting down, change it. If they're seeking water from other sources, change the water.

On that note, I see people just putting down food and water and leaving it until it's empty, which can sometimes take days. Don't do this. Their food and water needs changing every day. If they're eating the food but always leaving some, just give them a little less to prevent waste, don't leave it there until it's gone/ put fresh food on top. Some people feed their cats at certain times every day and always have water available, others just make it so food and water are available 24/7, honestly that's up to personal preference. My family feed the cats "officially" in a morning and on a night with a mix of wet and dry food, but that morning feed is put down and stays down until the night feed, and we'll happily top up a bowl with biscuits if it's empty or really low, so we sort of do a mix of both. We've only ever had one actually obese cat, and she was obese when we got her and we fed her in a way that helped her lose weight, because it was genuinely a problem (she had to lose weight before we could neuter her because otherwise it was too dangerous for the operation to happen). Cat food cat go off, especially wet cat food, so just change it out.

Collars are really useful and important when it comes to ensuring your cat is recognised as having a home, and for if it needs to be returned home because it's gone missing. Microcipping is better. Do not replace collars with microchipping, your cat still needs to be wearing a collar even if it's been microchipped, even if that collar just says "I have a microchip". Likewise, don't use buckle or clip collars, they're too dangerous. This is dark and upsetting, but we once had a cat die because its collar was caught on a fence and it couldn't get itself free, it was esentally hanged to death. We felt incredibly sad and guilty because it never occurred to us that that can happen, and we immediately changed our remaining cats collars to the safety clips. These collars are still secure and stay on during everyday use, but if it gets caught on something and the cat pulls it'll simply undo and clip off, making sure the cat doesn't get hurt. You'll know the collar is a safety clip collar if the clip is a disc shape and undoes with a small tug. This is also why it's best to have your cat microchipped and wearing a collar, because if it does get caught and the collar has disappeared, your cat can still be identified. When you put on a cat's collar you should be able to put two fingers (one on top of the other) behind it comfortably (no tightness) and have them touch the collar and the back of the cat's neck. If you're not touching both the collar and the cat's neck, it's too loose. If you're feeling tighness, or struggling to do the test, it's too tight. If it's too loose then it'll just be kicked off when your cat scratches, if it's too loose it'll choke them and make it difficult to eat. Make sure you check.

Getting your cat neutered asap is also very important, if a kitten gets pregnant it can die in birth, and no one wants that. Likewise, it means male cats are less likely to spray (pee on) your stuff, and female cats wont yowl and make loads of noise because they won't go into season. It also prevents the risk of testicular and uterus cancers, plus uterus infections. Your cat also won't wander off looking for a mate, and is therefore less likely to go missing. On the opposite end of this: DO NOT DECLAW YOUR CAT. There is ONE (1) good reason for declawing, and that is if the claw is causing more issues than declawing would, but it's very hardly ever suggested as a solution to claw issues. Declawing doesn't just file the claws down, it gets rid of the entire claw bone, and the healing process is messy and more often than not leads to nasty infections and more issues for your cat. Many vets consider it to be completely unethical, and will only suggest it if there's nothing else that can be done to help your cats paws. If your cat is scratching, get a scratch post and spray the surfaces it's scratching with citrus, lanvendar, rosemary, pepper, or mint, as cats dislike those smells. A very gentle tap on the paws when they're scratching where they shouldn't be will slowly train them out of it as well. And I do mean very gentle tap, do not be smacking your animals. Some people tap on the nose, but even repeated gentle tapping can cause issues for cats, especially the long nose breeds, as it can collapse the bridge (in rare cases). Also, tapping cats on the nose or head is known to cause intense irritation, and can lead to your cat hating you. Similarly, if you boop a cat's nose it may actually irritate it as well. If you want to boop the snoot, hold your finger in front of their nose and let the boop come to you (I feel it means more when you do this as well).

There's this seemingly universal idea that summer is the time in which you'll finally get to read those books that you got over past Christmasses and birthdays, or that you got as gifts to yourself because they looked interesting, or were recommended by a friend. As I sat on my bed this morning reading Where The Wild Flowers Grow (Leif Bersweden), I realised that I seem to read more either at night or in the winter months. For me to be comfortable in my reading, it has to be dark and/ or cold everywhere else. So what’s the deal with the promise we always make ourselves to read in the summer?

Summer isn't a time to sit and read, in my opinion. It's warm (hopefully) and you want to go outside and get boba with friends, or do some shopping, or visit the beach. You don't want to sit still and read. Summer is typically when most Brits go on holiday, since children tend to be off school, and I bet a lot of the people going stand in front of their books and make the careful decision of which one(s) they should bring with them while they reside in another location for a few weeks. And, in my experience, the chosen one(s) are left untouched. If you're going on an actual holiday, why would you want to spend time sitting down reading? Why would you not want to explore a little and experience your surroundings?

No. I don't think reading is suited to the summer months. Reading, for me, is escapism. I don't want to escape twice, going on holiday is enough of a removal from my surroundings for my brain to be satisfied, so there's no point in me bringing reading materials with me (though I always will because I feel odd if I don't have a book in my bag). Likewise, being granted that temporary leave from education between academic years is enough of a change to my schedule for me to feel satisfied. I've got no classes, I have more time to myself, I want to play video games and see my friends. As a note: video games and books are two very different forms of escapism for me. Video games take up my hearing, sight, and concentration, they physically take me out of the world I'm in and set me elsewhere while I explore new environments to my heart's content. The ones I play have stories and freedom to explore, and I usually concentrate on the latter. Books are linear, mostly, you can't change what the story is going to tell you (until you log on to your preferred fanfic site and declare that he's not dead, so shut your mouth and watch him make out with his friend). You can absolutely interpret it in any way you desire, but that doesn't change the words written on the page. There's a clear promise of an end, and you can see it when you look at the pages and see how many are left. Videogames plant me elsewhere quite suddenly, so I can hop in and out of as many stories as I desire, and often do when I can't decide what I want to play and end up flicking through 5 games in 30 minutes. You need to be able to settle into a book. It doesn't immediately dull your senses to the world around you and replace that stimuli with its own. It's a door that opens slowly to a room with a soft carpet and a warm drink. It's the time you take to look around while taking off your shoes and coat and carefully placing them by the door. You don't realise you're lost in a book until someone comes along and takes you out of it. So I can easily play video games at any time, but a book needs the right set up (and I feel the same with TV for the most part as well).

Summer doesn't provide that set up for me. There's kids screaming while they play, and the ice cream van playing it's tune every hour, and someone's laughing way too loudly over at the pub because it's hot and that means alcohol (somehow). There's people in the streets, and you're one of them. It's summer! See your friends, get some tea, go to the faire, swim in the lake, visit other countries, go do things! Be around people! Forget your sunscreen again and look like a hot dog for a while (please wear sunscreen, it's so important). I live in a seaside town, and tourism booms during the summer. This city gets so packed it bursts and the noise invades your home no matter where you live. You want to join in. So you forget about your book and do just that. Summer also doesn't allow me the time I need to access the mental space I encompass myself in when I want to read a book, there's too much going on. Too much I want to do. Winter, however, is quieter. Noone really wants to go outside in the winter, so the streets are mostly still. There's still people down at the pubs, but they're getting there later, and talking quieter, and they don't stay as long. People go outside only if they need to, and if they're arranging to meet friends the majority of their time together is going to be inside, where the noise is soaked up by the walls and people there rather than bleeding into the streets.  You don't want to do much in the winter. The markets and events and celebrations don't start for weeks, yet. Stay inside. Bundle up. Read a book.

I do find that I do most of my reading in the winter months. I don't have much else to do aside from going to class and getting groceries, and the friendly gatherings become fewer as people leave to visit family, classes fade out for a few weeks, and the air becomes too cold. Last winter I read 15 books, and the year before it was 12. Other than the reading I had to do for classes (which I mostly try to avoid anyway because reading for academics makes every book on that list dull), I didn't touch a book.