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@littedemon
It’s fascinating hearing how other people think. My dad says he has to think of a full sentence word for word before he says it whereas I don’t know what I’m gonna say until I’ve already said it.
I still barely know what I say after I say it. Especially with my fellow adhd friend
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My brain for whatever reason just very easily bends around weird concepts. idk if it’s from reading surrealism so much or the adhd or being stuck on tumblr for too long or whatever but so often someone will be like “wow that is so weird how do they come up with that” and it’s just like pretty standard absurdist humor or something and I’m like idk they were probably just staring at a wall and wondered what would happen if you nailed a tomato to it don’t we all do that
We have a far side calendar in the kitchen and so often my dad looks at it and is like “how do you come up with that” and I’m like “idk dude it’s someone getting stuck inside a piano isn’t that normal cartoon logic” but apparently not
I don’t know in what way my brain is broken but basically I look at lovecraftian horrors in the face and go “yeah that makes sense” and keep sipping my coffee and I just don’t get why that’s so difficult
Cthulhu. Yeah, giant squid god that’s taking care of the dead gods until they rise again to take over the world. Pretty self explanatory. Why is this horror, again?
They should send me to make first contact with the eldritch abomination space entities. If I’m not killed by the cosmic radiation I might be able to teach them how to play chess.
He’s an evil secretary basically
Evil nurse? Evil housesitter?
Evil personal assistant
incredible stuff happening out there
There's gotta be someone more qualified. I'm fucking begging you.
@evilwizard
don’t involve me in this…
@theshitpostcalligrapher ?
@teaboot ?
☹️
@derinthescarletpescatarian ?
Ask the cookie clicker guy
For block list maybe
Uh @thebibliosphere is a best selling author think that counts?
Over my undead body.
"the gang's all here" ass post except none of you want to be here XD
“the gang’s all here” ass
post except none of you want
to be here XD
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Kisses for the goodest boy
this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*
i know what i’m doing dw
Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?
Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck
POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK
desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”
You're failing.
You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY
Pluto is Roman, not Greek
?????
Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.
I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me
HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*
I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe
Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano
FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER
wrong.
Achievement Unlocked:
Lightning Bait
You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.
FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN
I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz
For science
OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND
HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE
ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)
POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE
HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE
APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE
KRATOS: GOD OF WAR
HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE
APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE
ares is the god of war, not kratos
WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN
I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore
op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao
Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book
hey is this still post of the year or
how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?
I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK
ok cool. fair warning, this shovel only digs down and not up.
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Cats are great because they just accept that being Bothered by you is like. Part of the social contract.
Unfortunately this contract is reciprocal and they will call due when you are trying to play computer games specifically
The thing about Miss Piggy is that she kind of has a Roger Rabbit comedy superpower where she wins nearly any conceivable fight she's in. But unlike other characters of which that's true, like say, Bugs Bunny, who tend to win because they make the opponent play the game with their rules, Miss Piggy wins because the joke is that she can beat the shit out of literally anybody.
I lack knowledge about the muppets. But I'm 100% convinced that Miss Piggy is the god of war
the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”
what
fucking shit up with a wooden shoe
oh my god
well wooden shoe look at that
I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE
I love this post especially the rat part
going on me feed
what do you mean there are exactly zero rats i. this post
DOES IT NOT STOP
endlessly frustrating that whenever anyone is like 'i wish i could find a type of exercise i enjoy' swarms of people are always like 'clearly you have not tried the type of exercise *I* enjoy!' I'm there like no I have. it sucked.
my high school offered a pretty diverse range of Sports in PE so i have tried out a bunch of them. i did not enjoy them and was bad at literally all of them.
i also took some martial arts in school and hated it. i took it up only bcos my best friend was doing it and at all times was like 'i wish i was spending my lunchbreak doing Anything Else'. i was also bad at it.
before anyone is like 'well you don't have to be good at an activity to enjoy it-' yes you do. sorry. when it comes to Sports if you are bad enough at it, you simply do not get to access the fun part. for example: me and my best friend used to 'play tennis' together in PE lessons but we were both extremely bad at tennis so we would just take it in turns to serve the ball at each other over and over bcos neither of us could hit it back. this was not fun.
i did a lot of musical theatre extra curriculars including dance as a teen and this was probably the one i enjoyed the most but once you hit a certain age there is an Expectation that you will want to get good at it. i was not a good dancer and struggled a lot with memorising the routines. this was not fun. it is not fun doing an activity you are bad at while surrounded by people who are better at it than you.
i have had very mixed experiences with swimming bcos obviously as a child it was fun to like. play in a pool but school swimming lessons were deeply unpleasant. it is the one i would most like to take it up again but 1) there is just a tremendous amount of faff involved 2) it requires you to be in a state of Undress around a bunch of strangers and i don't want to do that.
essentially i think a major disconnect happening here is that not everyone experiences the Exercise Dopamine to the same extent? i don't feel good after exerting myself. i am just like well that sucked the whole time and i felt bad afterwards.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every time
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!
STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesn’t have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
We all know who needs to be @’d
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Mods are asleep post forbidden tits
Huh
Huh
Huh
Hhhhhhh
Perfectly balanced as all things should be…
balance
Grandpa deep asleep after getting a haircut today
i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably
it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this
every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly
i enjoy that every single human’s reaction to penguin is unrestrained delight
And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, “HELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?”
I will reblog this on my deathbed.
Please let him science 🐧
i think at least half of the million reblabs on this are from me
There is an international treaty that says we’re supposed to stay 6m away from penguins, and it’s really difficult because no one told the penguins, and they all desperately want to wander up and say hi.
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Only day you can reblog this
this has been scheduled since last month
today
All the days you can reblog this for the next 10 years:
November 26 2023
May 26 2024
January 26 2025
October 26 2025
April 26 2026
July 26 2026
September 26 2027
December 26 2027
March 26 2028
November 26 2028
August 26 2029
May 26 2030
January 26 2031
October 26 2031
September 26 2032
December 26 2032
June 26 2033
i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn’t know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests
my organs keep whining about self preservation , my bones? playing the waiting game
There is comfort in knowing the bones will win
ominous……
Leave my flesh to the worms. “There is comfort in knowing the bones will win.”
