I may or may not have made an incorrect quote page for your THG universe...
Some of these involve characters that were never in the same universe interacting and often isn't true to canon. It's really just based on The Vibes I get from them.
These were originally just for me, so I unfortunately didn't record the source books/shows/posts they are from.
Of course, no pressure to post this if that's not your thing! Just a thing I made for you/your friends who write in this universe.
Eibhlin: So, Marius is going out of town this weekend and wanted to know if we could take care of his baby.
Claudius: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That is a big responsibility. What do we know about children?
Claudius, passing Alec his bag: I swear you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on.
Claudius, to Eibhlin: I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child.
Claudius: Where's your jacket? It's cold outside.
Claudius: Here, take mine.
Claudius, to Eiblin: Kids are a lot of work.
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Nero: Iâve killed multiple people. Iâm known for being a machine of death and darkness.
Nero: God yes, please hold me.
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Alec: Wait, how did you know I was going to propose?
Jake: Creed hasnât been able to look at me without crying for a month
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Marius: I like this whole âgood cop, bad copâ act you have going on
Selene: Itâs not an act, itâs just Iâm mean and Dash isnât.
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Nero & Callista sitting together in jail*
Calli: So who should we call to bail us out?
Nero: Iâd say Adessa, but I honestly feel safer in jail.
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Selene: Crying is really annoying, you know
Selene, sighing: Okay, who do I need to beat the shit out of?
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*Eibhlin intimidating someone/blowing things up*
Everyone: Sheâs so scary wtf
Claudius: Yeah, but like sheâs so pretty-
(I find it both hilarious and very on-brand that most of the times Claudius stops to admire/study Eibhlin, itâs when sheâs being Scary Eibâ˘)
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Lyme: What if they start shooting? How am I supposed to run in a dress?
Brutus: Holy shit! What kind of dinner parties have you been to?
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Eibhlin: Claudius, Iâm so happy I could kiss you!
Claudius: *nervous laughter* uh.... neat!
Claudius, laying face down on his bed: I canât believe I said âneatâ, Lex! âNeatâ! No one says âneatâ anymore! It isnât neat to say âneatâ and I said it anyway because Iâm a huge loser!
Electra: Donât beat yourself up, D. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Rigel confessed to me?
Claudius: Didnât you, like, thank him?
Electra, staring off into the distance: I thanked him.
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Sloane: *tries to create a sense of calm by lighting incense only to find out that the sticks were actually sparklers*
Sloane: This is painfully on-brand, actually.
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âI am death itself. I am the bringer of death, Cato stop laughing, my soul is as dark as the nightâs sky- Cato I swear to God.â -Clove,probably
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Alec: Hey I heard you like bad boys.
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Creed: Selene is my best friend, and if I love her, itâs the way I would love a sister.
Alec: Iâm your brother, and if you looked at me the way you look at Selene, I would have to speak with our parents.
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Brutus: Claudius! Enobaria and Eibhlin are fighting!
Claudius: Don't look at me! They both terrify me, I'll be cut down!
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Nero, texting: you will machete through this
Nero: Fuck pls don't machete your way through this
Enobaria OR Callista, your pick: too late
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Person on the phone: Am I speaking to the head of the household?
Joseph, passing the phone to Adora: It's for you.
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Eibhlin, jokingly: I should have Claudius kill you for that.
Claudius, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?
Eibhlin: Wh- no, I meant that in jest.
Claudius, pulling out a switchblade: No, who's bothering you?
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Claudius: Making my way downtown
Claudius: Walking slower so Eib can keep up.
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âIt has been a true pleasure to watch your distractingly childish friendship evolve into a distractingly childish courtship, and now into what Iâm sure will be a distractingly childish marriage.â
-Ronan at Devon & Mishaâs wedding
(I know Misha doesnât actually want to get married, but this is all about the VIBES)
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âI would say get a room but yours is the same as mine, please try to remember that.â ~Alec to Creed & Selene (Victor!Creed AU)
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Nero: You know, you can solve your problems without violence.
Lyme: OK, but consider Iâm really, really good at violence
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Capitol News, throwing open door: You two ARE having sex!
Lyme: Really? Brutus, why didnât you tell me? I would have put my book down.
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Julia: Paul just texted me âI feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rockâ
Joseph: If you donât marry him, I will
(Sorry, the concept of the Joseph/Paul bromance is tooo funny to me)
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Petra: You donât think I can fight. Because I'm a girl.
Brutus: I donât think you can fight because youâre wearing a massive wedding dress. For what itâs worth, I donât think Devon could fight in that dress either.
Devon: Maybe not. But I would make a radiant bride.
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There is a master key and a spare key for the village. Adessa has them both. When I asked, âWhat if you die? How will we get in the gates?â...She said, âIf Iâm dead, you all have been dead for weeks.â -Nero, probably
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Someone: Hey what's your type?
Devon/Nero/Creed/Dash: Murderers, apparently.
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Misha: Brutus, tell Devon that he's an idiot but I still love him.
Brutus:Tell him yourself.
Brutus: You're sitting in his lap??
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Electra: So umm... I'm having problems with a guy...
Claudius: Like his dead body won't fit in a bag kind of problems? Or you like him, kind of problems?
Electra: ...The second one.
Claudius: Oh, thatâs too bad. I could have helped you with the first one.
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Snow:Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is freeâŚstarting right now.
Ronan: I think youâre cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and donât think of anyone but your damn self.
Ronan: But what? I still have 22 seconds and I am not done.
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Selene:(slams open the door) THE BABY IS COMING!!!!!!!
Julia:(immediately jumps up) What baby?!
Creed:(rushes into the room behind Selene, carrying Alec in his arms)
Creed: Alec! Alec is the baby! Todayâs his birthday!
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Rigel: Tell me about the victors.
Ronan: Flint and Iris. They never show up in text. Theyâre...pretty much useless. But they make good coffee.
Ronan: Now the good ones. Adessa is tough, smart, hard to read, and scary as hell.
Adessa: Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.
Devon: No! That takes all the fun out of it.
[Adessa glares daggers at him.]
Devon: Itâs Odin. He got you a scarf. Itâs blue and ugly. Iâll make him return it.
Ronan: Brutus. Heâs a grinder. Not our most brilliant victor, but he works harder than anyone else. Heâs not the most physically⌠...coordinated.
[Flashback, Brutus unwraps a muffin, then drops it on the ground.]
Brutus: Awww man! My muffin!
[As he picks it up, he smacks his head on a desk thatâs too short for him.]
Brutus: Ow! My head! My muffin and my head!
Ronan: Petra. She gets underestimated because of her looks, so sheâs always trying to prove sheâs tough.
[Flashback, Petra puts hot sauce on her sandwich. She looks up to see Claudius watching her.]
Petra: You think I canât handle this much hot sauce? I can handle way more than this. [She empties the hot sauce on her sandwich and takes a bite.]
Petra:(in agony) In... your... face.
Claudius: ...I didnât say anything?
Rigel: Tell me about Artemisia and Devon.
Ronan: Oh, those two. Some of our most talented victors-- he likes grassroots projects and she loves feeding the press. The only puzzle they havenât solved... is how to grow up.
Rigel: Thatâs very well put.
Ronan: Iâve talked a lot about those two in my mandated therapy sessions.
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(Poor Alec suffering⢠when they reconnect in the Victor!Creed AU)
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Dash:[Puts his feet on the table] I heard you liked bad boys.
Dash: [Takes his feet off the table] Good, that felt horrible.
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Creed or Alec: You bit me!
Selene: Biting's excellent! It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.
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Brutus: You donât know how to kill this thing!
Lyme: I thought I might try violence.
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Skylar:[Trying to catch grapes in his mouth] Lyme, what would you give me if I got this grape in your cleavage?
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Devon: You didnât have a happy childhood :( ?
Misha:My favourite toy was a knife. You finish the puzzle.
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bb Misha: On a scale of one to ten how much trouble am I in?
bb Misha: Oh, I can do better than that.
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Everyone: Happy birthday Brutus!!!
Brutus: Wait, is that it? No punchline? No joke? No announcement of doom-
Devon: Misha accidentally set your yard on fire
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Devon: Will you marry me?
Misha: Wow, uh, be right back.
Misha:*texting Lyme* Come pick me up, kids are drinking alcohol.
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Selene: Iâm going to make a deal with you.
Selene: Iâll let you play with my sword if you promise not to tell our parents I gave you twelve cookies and said fuck four...five times.
Kit: Iâll take that offer. Plus interest. I also get to play with the knife.
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Nero: Violence doesnât solve everything.
Lyme: Thatâs because you're not hitting hard enough.
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âCreed wants to be a victor when he grows up to protect and honour his district and country. Alec wants to become a doctor so he can help sick kids. Our last child, Selene, wants to be a porcupine so she can stab people with her butt.â ~The Sewards & Valents
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Eibhlin, breaking down Brutusâs door at 3am: I have a.. stop screaming itâs me. I have a new update for the electrical grid .
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âIâm very sorry I hurt your feelings by calling you stupid. I honestly thought you knew.â -Adessa
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Lyme: Did you really have to stab him?
Misha: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me.
Misha: What are you gonna do, stab me?
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Enobaria: Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?
Nero: I think that's called a threat.
Snow: Something you'd like to say, dear?
Adessa: Oh, there are several things I would like to say-
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Misha: You know what? Fuck you! Unshrinky your dinks.
Brutus: What the hell is your generation on?
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Jake, texting Sara:IM RREALLY DRUNK AND I MESSED UP SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS
Alec, texting Selene: LENE I CAME THROUGH THE DOOR AT THE PARTY AND A GUY YELLED DIBS
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Brutus: I would never say this to Lymeâs face...
Brutus: ...but I consider her my closest friend and I treasure her presence.
Emory and Devon, horrified: Why... why wouldnât you say that to her face????
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*In the Capitol during District Upsidedown*
Petra: You said things couldn't get worse!
Ronan: Yes, well...apparently I'm not imaginative enough.
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Trainer: What the hell happened?
Jason(with a black eye): Selene threw a shoe at my face!
Trainer: Lachlan is that true?
Lachlan: Kind of? Jason was making fun of my shoes and Selene thought he couldnât see them clearly so she gave him a closer look.
Selene (leaning back on her chair, bored): Yep, sure did. And Iâd do it again.
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Devon: I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in this room.
Devon: Just note, I charitably said âgirlâ because letâs be honest, Iâd smoke all of you.
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Lyme: Now, remember to act surprised by the audience.
Claudius: How does that mean anything when I was forced to go?
Lyme: What did I say about pointing out the meaninglessness of everything?
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Devon: One time Callista came over here. All she did was lie seductively over the piano and feed herself grapes. I donât really understand that woman, but I admire her lifestyle.
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Brutus: Whatâs your status?!
Lyme: My status, Brutus, is extremely annoyed.
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Misha: Claudius/Brutus, I think you should play the role of my father.
Brutus: I donât want to be your father.
Misha: Thatâs perfect. You already know your lines.
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Julia: What are you? Two?
Paul: Yeah, two heads taller than you
Julia: OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, YOU COWARD!
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*Creed, Alec, and Selene against an enemy*
Creed: We are going to defeat you with the power of friendship!
Selene: And this knife I found!
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Devon, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!
Brutus, horrified: Yeah, a lawsuit.
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Callista: Iâd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.
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Marius: Rigel can't go because he's injured.
Rigel: I'm not injured, I was lightly stabbed.
Marius: I'm sorry, you were STABBED?!
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Mishaâs mother: You know you missed your father's funeral... by two years.
Misha: Well, last time I talked to him he said, "I'll see you in hell, girl" so I figured we had something on the books.
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Alec, to someone giving him crap for being a âsoftâ doctor: Iâm an ex-career doctor. Which means I can break every bone in your body while naming them.
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*Claudius & Eibhilin sitting together in jail*
Claudius: So who should we call to bail us out?
Eibhlin: Iâd say Beetee, but I honestly feel safer in jail.
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There is a master key and a spare key for our homes. Adora and Julia have them both. When we asked, âWhat if you die? How will we get into the house?â....They said, âIf weâre dead, you both have been dead for weeks.â -Joseph and Paul, probably
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Finnick: Why would you give a knife to a child???
Claudius: Noah felt unsafe
Annie: Now we feel unsafe!
Claudius: Would you like a knife?
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THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING HOLY BANANAS
I started reading this on my phone but I had to stop bc I was cackling on the sidewalk
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