These Words And Thoughts Are All I Have

Feeling like you haven't been preparing?

Babies potentially coming sooner rather than later

Want to ask life for a favor

I know you don't think you're ready for it

And maybe you're not, you're still just a kid

But accidents are often spontaneous

They call for us to do our best and adjust

Settling in together sounds scary, horrifying

You feel like hiding

You know this to be true

So there's no point to argue

A mere possibility has you shaken

While she's being checked on exercise patience

Breathe in and breathe out slow

Soon you will know

Into the lands of fiction

Onto comic books and screens

The people stopped believing

Lost interest

Unfortunately

Futures aren't safely guarded

Hope is imaginative

Optimism is a superpower

It can be found in all human beings

Only a very few will ever be able to activate it

On a daily basis; I

Won't encourage you

To quit. I was addicted,

Too -- in fact I still might be

I can not control myself.

To all readers it's enlivening

Her lines are electrifying

There are thunderstorms in her mind

Followed by bright and luminous rainbows

For herself and others she'll pave roads

Keep people safe, make them feel at home, blanket cold souls

She undervalues the weight of her words

People see themselves in her pictures

In the lines they see their reflection

And their essence

And happily read each and every sentence

Other brother, why? Guess I

Am important to

You, huh? I did not know I

Was. I believed otherwise

Write through it

Fight its influence

You should never stay mute

Speaking your mind is putting your voice to good use

Inspiration isn't always waiting around for us to play

It's up to us to create

For the love of it

For the enjoyment

Because we often had nothing else but this

And it would always ease our suffering

Spent all of its years accompanying

Hearing is out when no one else did

Seeing in us what no one else saw

Teaching us self-belief and the power of our thoughts

Being there as we write poems, stories, and songs

Encouraging us with constant applause

The mind is a beautiful thing

There's white light in our human being

And is in forever rotation

Told many my father was a writer

They assume it's a narrative I created

Other times I say an artist

No longer believed to be telling the truth

Because I can't paint or draw a picture

It's words that I use

Was forever there, but not present

In our pictures there was distance

Forced to be together under familial conditions

Outcries of pain were belittled

Nowadays he's referred to as the man

It's been settled

Given no space to change

I know better

I had grown used to their mood swings, they seemed normal

They could care less that they insulted me

Stood up to them all, they took it personal

How long did they expect I would submit?

Was a quarter of my life not enough?

Why speak to the voiceless?

Nothing intelligent has ever left their lips once

Try to use my past against me

It isn't a weapon

I'm immune to all firearms and explosives

You chose the wrong person to threaten

These days I do keep my distance

It's tough to hold my impulses back

Want to leave you in the intensive care unit

Make your lifeline flat

I barely knew them

The language of the loser I speak fluent

Telling myself I got more time to live is delusion

Confused and mute

Soon to be under the influence

Renew a miserable existence

Dilute my present and reuse an old addiction

Unbox the untouched prescriptions

Listen to the ever present, but quiet, voices and their complaints

They always have something to say

No matter the day, the time, or the place

Directionless but I'll continue on my way

I'd begin to chase

All across the Earth's face

All across the Earth's plains

Continuously

And endlessly calling out your name

Vocalizing my desires for you, what more can I say?

I want you and I need you

I find peaceful mornings, noons, and evenings with you

Each and every shared moment between us is Eden

So I'll never be leaving

Promise my emotions

Nor will they ever be

Fleeting

Keeping my sights on you

Keeping my eyes on you

Forever

The way you show me no care

There's a thin line between us

A folktale says it's not to be broken

I don't want to believe in invisible laws

Nor live by the morals of others

For some time I've done just that

But now I want to forget all of the past

Should grab some blank pages and write a new history

Tell this story the way I'd like

My old memories reveal my cowardice

There are many lies I'd like to live by

Perhaps some day I'll be stronger than I currently am

I really do wish to be

I whisper it to myself

I take those thoughts with me, into my everyday dreams

Above the pages and lines you're floating

Can write endless words and thoughts and sentiments

All based in my love for you and affection

My cold heart stays warm because of your temperament

Your essence lives next to and between my intestines and my tendons

Never do I want us to be separated

Approached you as shapeless clay

Into me your hands sank

You made me beautiful and I said forever thanks

Grateful I continue to be your creation

On the daily updated

Rubbing against you to catch your fragrance

Either I'm yours or I'm nameless

I'll love and die by that statement

The sun isn't an alarm clock

Responsibilities aren't an alarm clock

Do as you wish

Do as you may

Ignore time as it knocks on your door

There is no consequence

Self-abuse

Self-harm

Self sabotage

Self-destructive behavior

I'm untouchable there

Cannot bet touched

The one who didn't know you, the one who didn't know me

In all of my self-pity I tried to find glory

Claimed ownership of my pain, made it a part of my story

The pages seem empty if you're not written in them

Between the lines is where I want you positioned

Out of place in any other space

Can always spot you, we're in each other's orbit

Having you in my life makes me the most fortunate

Are all true, I won't fight against

What anyone has to say, no matter

How horrible it may seem, it's all

The truth. I don't deserve to live

Or have a chance at something or

Someone worthwhile or good or

Halfway decent. This

Is the pathetic and self-pitying

Life I fully deserve and know. I'll

Die here. I'll stay buried here.

Us digging deeper, adding value to our love and its meaning

Don't just tell anyone I love them

Usually deny most any semblance of a connection

Try my best to never take you for granted

Don't ever want to ask you for a million more second chances

You fit in my arms like a glass slipper

Live for bringing you deliverance

Polishing the crown that sits atop, relenting from stopping romantic gestures

Because, for you, I can, always, do better, you deserve better, so much better

So please forgive me, for my many streams of ineptitude

Promise to correct myself, improve as an individual

Missing you, the sky loses its blue

Also lose my color, I need to be shaded in

My figure lies on the ground, covered in paint and crayon traces

Till an ambulance arrives, I'll be waiting on the pavement