I have to admit I can’t remember if I’ve ever tried an Envy before. I think I’ve seen them, but didn’t go out of my way to try it because of my bias against trademarked apple varieties. Maybe I should though

May I present the best apple:

In college, I wrote a 20-page essay about the history of apples in the US for one of my environmental studies classes. I learned that apples came to the US from Europe, but if I remember correctly, it was trendy in the 1800s for orchard growers across the US to selectively breed new varieties. So at one time there were like, a thousand named varieties in the US. So maybe the amount of variety in apples in the US outpaced what it was in Europe? I don't really know, but I'd be curious to learn more!

He then cast his mind back to 2016 when they last met, recalling, “Last time I saw Bob, it was a few years ago, we are at Coachella and they did the Desert Trip, so it was a lot of vintage acts. Us, Stones, Bob, Neil Young[".]

like the scenario described is a total mess, and you can see how the narrator bears a larger share of responsibility than she's willing to concede just for staying in there and putting up for it for so long, but you can totally relate to her position, because the questions it raises are so uncomfortable. It's this deeply miserable, intractable situation, and I was reading along expecting that it would either end in a horrible blowup or that this essay would itself be the horrible blowup, so I was completely startled by the, like, moral deus ex machina where all the uncomfortable details are revealed as illusory and swept away in a great hurry to make room for the happy ending.

I DuckDuckGo'd "puppygirl essay", the first result was this Substack post, which says it's a response to an article called "Dump your puppygirl" by Tara Knight, so then I searched that, and found this