You're Gonna Be Right As Rain

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

going to Barnes & Noble just to feel something

I don't think criticizing the mcu is novel or groundbreaking anymore cause everything that could be said has already been said however I do love complaining and being a hater in general and the mcu is a nice outlet

love the empty feeling that seizes my heart everytime i finish reading a book

i cast concussion! [beats you over the head with my staff]

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

the novelty of having a pet will never wear off on me i’ve had animals my entire life for 23 entire years and i still sometimes stop and go holy fuck there is just a little guy in my house