The Library of the Ancients

“Chaos control!” And then Shadow waggles the Wiimote a bunch.

this whole thing of shortening the names of star trek shows so you dont gotta type out the entire thing is great and i'd rather die than force myself to type out Star Trek: The Next Generation whenever i tlak about the show but i dont think it really works for Star Trek Discovery. can we stop calling that show STD please

He was on his own for pants though.

Hunting is a pussy-out kind of activity. -Mattel execs in the 60's making this pack

my one superpower is that i can instantly tell when someone who doesn’t use the word “ya’ll” in their day-to-day speech starts using it to be sanctimonious and folksy on the internet

i can tell you don’t either OP or you’d put the apostrophe in “y'all” where it fucking belongs

Now that’s a fuckin callout

wow i am learning so much about other cultures

Sometimes I do wish they’d kept the runner up being VP. It would be bad but hilarious and help make this happen.

Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

It looks the flag of the laziest team or someting......

I have a horrible secret to share. to the five of you who care to keep up with new build a bear releases, you’ve probably noticed a lot of bald yellow animals lately. the lion, pineapple, narwhal, etc. there’s a reason for that. it’s because they made too much of it expecting the minions from despicable me to sell well. but they didn’t. so now they have all this extra yellow fabric to use. so all these new releases? yeah. they’re made out of minion skin

"It can't be an allegory for X because the protagonist is textually X" like, you've gotta understand that these two things are not mutually exclusive. For example, Madeline Celeste is canonically trans, but that does not render the plot of Celeste non-allegorical. Most people's gender transition does not involve being chased up and down a mountain by ghosts.

kind of bummed there’s no real organized religion in wheel of time I think Moiraine would have done amazing as a heretic

like she’s kind of the lord Asriel of randland but no one really gives her credit for that because the religious systems are never fully articulated so it’s not clear exactly how huge her transgression is. But when you think about it this is a 22 year old who’s spent the past 6 years of her life in a convent basically cut off from the world who took a look at the state of things and just went “okay…if no one else is going to find this potentially world destroying baby that everyone is terrified of and won’t even acknowledge exists and train said baby then I guess I will” which is so. Well slay doesn’t even begin to cover it

tumblr pr is asleep at the wheel