ever since i was a little girl i knew there was no hope for me

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

they don't tell you this but if ur really lonely for a long time, a hole starts forming in ur heart and the longer u feel lonely the bigger the hole gets and it doesn't matter if u feel less lonely when ur older bc the hole stays forever and ur life just grows around it. But the hole is always there.

actually im doing really well except for the fact that everything makes me sad and the things that dont make me sad make me angry. but other than that im fine

maybe progress could be linear if i try hard enough

when i was like 5 i started waiting for something and never stopped