The Half-Baked Mistake

the best thing about being alive on earth is that sometimes there is a kitty

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

forbidden blue raspberry candy

johnny cash's little brother jimmy pennies is 3 inches tall and has a voice only dogs can hear

Every time I see this creature he looks like if the wind blows on him a bit too strong he'll puff into a million seeds like a dandelion and scatter in the breeze

the urge to write is like a cat meowing for dear life for someone to open the goddamn door, who then shows utter disinterest in said open door

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank

[tumblr]人は、人形のようにｊｐｅｇで遊ぶことが大好きだね。。。