Fifth Day of December

So. Mrs Sandwich.

I’ve been wondering at her relevance. I put a post up a bit ago about the signs at her front door that rang honking great foreshadowing bells: “Come Upstairs” and “No pairs. One only. Be Brave” on a wall surrounded by stars. Not to mention they now have a “New Model” with “Friendly Hands” up there.

In the party, she says something to Aziraphale that made my brain jangle because of all the meta that I’ve been eating: [her girls] stand on their own two feet. Initially I thought this was a sex-work joke, but there’s the fact that at the beginning of the season, both lads are completely co-dependent, especially Crowley who talks about “my only friend”. By the end of the season, the boys are separated and they will be forced to stand on their own two feet for the first time since 2500BC.

Throw into the mix that God’s department is always referred to as “upstairs” and Mrs Sandwich is the only person aside from Gabriel and Crowley coming down from an upstairs to a ground level that has a chandelier, much like Aziraphale’s bookshop also has a chandelier on the ground floor, directly over his contact point with the almighty.

“I don’t know why you invited me,” she says and Aziraphale makes a point that she’s part of their world, even if she feels she’s separate from it. Then you have the seamstress conversation and yes, maybe she is a brothel madame, but the fact she can’t say what her actual role/position is has very ineffable vibes to me. A convenient way to mask her real identity/purpose.

When Crowley walks her out the party, he says “Have you got your hand in?” and she replies “Oh, I’ve got more than that, love.” which would track for the person who was playing three-card monty with the universe. Since they’re so careful with their dialogue, between all of this and her calling Crowley “a good lad”?

Add the fact that her “girls” upstairs can tell when Nina is unhappy when making coffee and that one of the drinks she orders almost matches the order by the Metatron, who has professed to consume human food/drink. His version has almond syrup instead of hazelnut and almond is symbolic in the bible for watchfulness and promise of a new season. (However, interestingly, some Biblical translations of hazelnut and almond mean the same thing)

Let me tell you, I'm experiencing BIG TIME Deja Vu.

Do you want to know the last time I felt it?

"Oh look at Crowley!! He's so happy about his car!! Wait... Why is he taking a taxi? Huh. That's kinda weird. Oh well, guess he just Does That Sometimes."

"Heh, that's kind of strange. I'm getting like, a real off vibe from Aziraphale here." ((At this point I had a mere child's understanding of Michael's acting)) "Oh well, I guess this scene is just kind of off from the rest of it. It happens in shows sometimes."

"Aww look at that! They're checking in with each other to see how the other one feels about having their things back. Aziraphale still seems kinda oddly serious here? Hm. Oh well. Must just be this episode."

"LOL hey!! Wasn't that what Aziraphale said earlier? Aw! He's adopted it into his vocabulary!"

THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT WERE JUST ✨A LITTLE BIT OFF✨ THAT I KINDA BRUSHED ASIDE BECAUSE IDK NO ONE IS PERFECT SOMETIMES WRITING OR DIRECTION IS JUST OFF OR DIFFERENT AND IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. And THEN...

Now, what is it that Aziraphale says about his magic act?

OH YES, HE DOES SOMETHING LIKE MIRACLES A TURNIP INTO AN INKWELL TO GET THE AUDIENCE WARMED UP, AND THEN HE REALLY GETS INTO THE SHOW WITH THE REAL TRICKS

So we open in the dark. There's distant lights and the occasional flare from them moving through space but for the most part we get the angel that would eventually become Crowley alone in enough darkness that he himself isn't even giving off particularly significant amounts of light.

But then, enter Aziraphale. He arrives in a big ball of blue light shining above him that really emphasizes Crowley's red hair. They get tied to the colors we most often see them attached to, especially in promotional materials.

From here the entire scene gets slightly brighter, even once Aziraphale's light dims down. They're both lit up once they're together, even it the middle of literal nothingness.

They start the universe next, using Crowley's hand crank, which gives off a magic that's a combination of their two colors - purple.

A very similar color to this shows up in heaven as a signal flare for their accidentally too powerful half a miracle. It's a color tied to a miracle so big it could've revived someone 25 times and also a miracle that got the engine of the universe running.

And then. Creation starts. Our first image is a very Heavenly aesthetic. It's a blueish light cutting through the clouds much like Az just cut through the dark.

And what explodes from that is the thing that set me down this little rabbit hole in the first place: it's purple scattered through with red and blue lights.

As the initial burst fades, the blue and the red separate, the color fading except for this tiny blue dot and this growing red zone on the right.

The blue then fades, leaving us with an extremely Crowley coded palette here and a very orangeish red. There's shades of gray, a little bit of light, but not nearly as much color. As the sequence moves the darkness grows but does start slowly filling with small points of light.

We then end up with shades of gray both light and dark. There's balance here, even if it's not particularly colorful.

And then all at once a pinkish red bursts forth with these intense clawing tendrils. At the core of it, from the heart of it, is a bright blue ball of light.

It fades into a blue heart surrounded by darkness with whisps of white resembling a certain someone's hair. Or, as some friends pointed out two people embracing.

As the nebula settles a few other colors set in but the primary scheme is still red and blue. An almost violent plume of red emerges on the left side of the image.

And from this moment on most shots of the two of them back them with their respective color schemes.

They chat and Aziraphale gets anxious. He looks for a distraction and is immediately drawn to the space where the colors mix.

And as we fade out the other colors in the picture fade. We get the most balanced blue and red uet. And on the far corners fairly clear dark and light.

Crowley is the serpent.

Aziraphale is the angel of the eastern gate, technically on apple tree duty.

Their love is the apple. Their love is the forbidden fruit. It is right there in full view of both of them the whole time. The ultimate temptation. Absolutely forbidden. A betrayal of their God-designated roles and if they taste it, it’ll change everything.

The serpent whispers that they should eat it.

The guardian protects it.

And so their dance continues down the centuries. But they elaborate on it, getting closer and closer until ultimately, it’ll be inevitable. They’ll take a bite.

Aziraphale denies even friendship for so long because they have to be enemies. They're on opposite sides. Heaven is simply good and right, Hell is simply bad and evil. Admitting that they love (respect, understand, share values with) the enemy brings that whole black and white dichotomy into question. It creates an understanding of good and evil that has grey areas. And Crowley spends a lot of time tempting Aziraphale with discussions of morality (and unintentionally with his own good actions), not just dates at the Ritz.

I can't stop thinking about Angel-Crowley. That tantalising little glimpse of the angel he once was raises so many questions!

Because how did this angel - this angel! this sweet, excitable little baby! - end up falling?

(with his curly little! and his neat white!)

This angel was so in love with creation, so happy to see it all begin. He also had rank, at least a Throne or Dominion (probably above...), and felt secure enough in his position to not worry about having a few questions following his chat with Aziraphale.

The thing is, we know Crowley never got to ask God those questions. We see that from his reaction to seeing Job speaking to God - "just to be able to ask the question!" He marvels at the moment, because it was an opportunity denied to him.

So what happened? Crowley likely tried to go to Head Office and suggest his suggestion box to Her, but instead only reached the Metatron, that great heavenly secretary (much like Aziraphale trying to get hold of God in S1 couldn't get any further up the chain than him). The Metatron, who definitely remembers Crowley and his "damn fool questions" thousands of years later. Crowley was sent away without answers, without even talking to God.

Would this alone drive him side ideologically with Lucifer, enough to go into battle against Heaven? He's never seemed seduced by what Lucifer is supposed to have offered - better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven and all that. Bit of theorising, but perhaps it was more than this. Lucifer was the morningstar, the most beautiful angel in Heaven, God's favourite angel. If anyone could get Crowley an audience with the Almighty, surely it was Lucifer. Surely Lucifer could pull some strings so Crowley could mention the suggestion box and the lifespan of nebulas. Maybe Crowley only started hanging around with "Lucifer and the guys" to try and get close enough to speak to God directly.

And then Crowley got caught up in something much too big, became guilty by association. And the Metatron had already made up his mind about this curious angel.

He's just an Angel... I know.

We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me, what do you say?

First of all, this theory is not mine, its from @/doubleskk on Twitter and can be found HERE. Go show them some love! It's in Portuguese, so I'll do my best to translate it - blue texts are my personal additions!

This season, we have something very clear in Aziraphale's development arc: is his relationship with LIE. He lied to protect Job's children, and he lied he had performed a miracle to make Nina and Maggie fall in love. That's not counting other little lies, sprinkled throughout the season here and there.

We keep seeing Crowley say "I'm a demon, I lie", but in the big finale, we have Crowley saying the truth - the big truth, the one he has been avoiding for 6 thousand years.

All of this was to set the stage for the biggest lie of all: the lie he had to tell Crowley to fend him off and protect him.

When Metatron goes to buy the coffee, he asks Nina if people ask for death, as the name of her shop is "Give me a coffee, or give me death". What if that name is an allegory for the actual conversation between Metatron and Aziraphale?

Aziraphale may have been threatened. Either Azira goes back to heaven (coffee), or he and Crowley would have their existence erased from the Book of Life (death). So, to protect Crowley, Aziraphale had to invent a lie to make sure he got away. The Book of Life was namedropped a couple of times in the show, a Chekhov's gun that never went off - Neil is too good of a writer for that.

And Aziraphale knew that Crowley would be pissed if he agreed to go back to Heaven after everything that happened, and he knew that Crowley would never accept being an angel again. "But rescuing me makes him so happy" - Aziraphale had to make sure Crowley wouldn't realize he needed saving.

That's why he knew exactly what to say to mess with Crowley.

At 41:14 of episode 6, when Azira starts telling the (alleged) lie to Crowley, he becomes all flustered, moving his hands from side to side and stammering, SAME PATTERN as when he lies to the angels about having done the Nina and Maggie fall in love, in episode 2.

[This part really works better with 2 videos side by side, which you cannot do on tumblr, so if you want you can check them out here]

The sequence of him talking to Metatron at the table is nothing more than an enactment of his lie. The conversation didn't go like that, Aziraphale made everything up.

And when Crowley declares himself, Aziraphale starts shaking his head in despair: not now, don't tell me that now.

He also looks out the window as soon as the confession starts, as if he knows Metraton was watching him outside.

Then there's the kiss, Aziraphale falters for a moment, but he has to keep up with the lie and he knows he has to hurt Crowley on purpose. And after Crowley leaves, Aziraphale is MUST recover in seconds, because Metatron is coming back. Also notice that when Metatron comes back, he doesn't ask if Crowley agreed to go back to heaven or not. He just sends a "How did he take it?"

I am very proud of myself for scrolling away the chapter summary, the ultimate chapter spoiler. I am usually very impatient and is usually fine with spoiling myself with new chapters but this time I was able to evade reading the summary. The chapter was worth the wait. 

I’ve reblogged raws and the instant translations but nothing beats reading the properly translated chapters because I fully understand the context of the images and the dialogues. I have different interpretations from the raws and instant translations do not sink in right away. 

I misunderstood Doumeki’s eyes at first, I thought he was simply concerned about Yashiro’s injuries, which probably what Yashiro was pertaining to when he said that he is resilient. But Doumeki’s thoughts say that it was because he is apologetic to what he has done. I thought Yashiro was simply avoiding or being awkward towards intimacy but he actually probably caught on Doumeki’s thoughts, thus he looks away. He didn’t want to see the pained and guilty Doumeki. Quick guess is that Yashiro probably thought that he’s used to it or that he deserved to be forced, that was his fate as a neko, etc. Doumeki was not in the wrong and that if anyone should be blamed it should be him. 

“At that moment I realized, that I meant something to this person…”

I am thrilled that I am reading Doumeki’s thoughts in the black boxes, dang. This person’s struggle is real. Just look at those eyes: fear of the un-/certain. He wanted to keep thinking positive that what happened was “love-making” because Yashiro cared for him, showed concern, that he was valuable to Yashiro as he is to Doumeki. That that sex was mutual. Otherwise, he’s just like other men Yashiro has slept with, men who forced themselves into Yashiro, violated and dehumanized Yashiro, he would just be the gentle version of them. Apologizing would confirm this. Well, I understand why Doumeki would think this way. Yashiro never outright admitted who Doumeki is for him, for us readers it was implied, for Doumeki though, he was just assuming that what Yashiro was saying is that he is that important to him. Doumeki can never be sure by just assuming and he’s afraid that his assumption is wrong. He thinks if he was wrong, then what happened was rape/non-consensual sex rather than love-making. Honestly, I would think the same. Nothing beats hearing the actual words such as “I like/love you”, “you are important to me” and the likes, they are solid confirmation for what a person feels, the relationship and the feelings are official; otherwise it’s all just an assumption. 

Doumeki can also read through Yashiro.  Yashiro being so concerned of Doumeki, worrying about him not getting any sleep, allowing Doumeki to cuddle, reaching Doumeki’s nape, Doumeki is already sensing the impending doom: Yashiro leaving. It was so obvious! Even I would sense that without the hint from the last panel in Ch 25.  “Everything’s fine. Hurry up and get some sleep” With a smile on his face - Bitch, couldn’t you get any more obvious? LOL. Kidding aside, I understand Doumeki and his fears. “I’m afraid to close my eyes” and my most favorite one “I just wanted to bind him to me.” YES, ME TOO. I WANT TO WRAP YOU TWO LIKE A BURRITO AND TIE YOU UP AND SHIP YOU GUYS AWAY TO A FAR FAR AWAY PLACE, JUST THE TWO OF YOU, TOGETHER, ALONE. ***sigh***

“I don’t want to become any more-” vulnerable?? I have no idea. But this:

“It’s because it felt so good.” “But that was a lie.”

OMG. Are we back at square one? Well, not really but it reminded me of the hotel and car scenes and I guess Ch 24 too, when Yashiro and Doumeki are on a war on who’s gonna give up first and who’s gonna keep their walls up. Doumeki doesn’t want to probe too much, Yashiro is trying to build up his walls again, weak walls but he’s trying. Both can read each other all too well but both do not want to be honest of what they think the other is thinking. They are very cautious about each other.

and if there’s a reason i’m still alive when so many have died then I’m willing to—