BeatrixG

that is actually my main principle of explicit fic is that the personalities stay On during sex.

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

i feel like the people aren’t crazy enough about bill woodward. he’s the most boring man alive. he’s divorced. he loves mamma mia. he doesn’t like his daughter’s stoner girlfriend. he’s gonna kick ted’s head. he drinks a shirley temple during the end of the world in case they need a designated driver. he spent like 100 dollars trying to win a carnival game so he can get a lame ass stuffed animal for his teenage daughter because she’s mad he dropped her phone. he loves his daughter so much he also has no idea how anything works. he’s paul’s best friend. he’s a little bit of a bitch sometimes. he gets a caramel frappe every day. he has genuinely one of the most gut-wrenching deaths in the entire starkid universe. he’s played by corey dorris what more do you people want.

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

may nerdy prudes provide us a character so bold and badass that they straight up yoink General McNamara’s gun, just for him to yell at them, “Hey, you are not authorized to use that firearm!”

the remount was so powerful im out here looking back at my old hatchetfield posts. mcnamara was not in npmd, but damn did i call this scenario out omg

emma perkins is truly the woman of all time. she is so so mean. she falls for the human equivalent of white bread. she sold pot in high school. she flips off customers of the coffee shop she works at. she’s a robot sometimes. her sister is a car. she survived the apocalypse. she died. she grows magic weed. she threw an endangered bird into a wood chipper because it took over her house and made her sleep in a barn. she spat blood in a man’s face. she spits in people’s drinks. she has beef with an 18 year old. she screamed at a cop.