𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐄.

junseo seems happy enough to help, he always does.  but allie is taken back to a time and a place where they met and it was much harder to help herself at all.  he seems to witness her like this more often than not.  she’s not really sure why they’re still friends.  “ i’m sorry for calling you here like this.” allie finally says, maybe a little defeated but still trying to find a smile for him all the same.  it’s too late to regret asking him over, but she still feels too awkward to bring up all her difficulties right away so she falls back to the couch and hums in something like reminiscence.  “ though it does bring back memories from high school.  you haven’t been to my house since then, have you?”

             ––––––––      &.  @lgcjunseo·

  any trainee would easily agree on the fact that the path to success is a rocky and unreliable one. last minute performances, maintaining a squeaky clean image and abandoning most forms of a normal social life all to become a rising idol was definitely tough, but the chase was undeniably fun. at times when all seemed to be looking down, solidarity would matter the most, so as junseo’s phone rang, he was determined to help the individual who had called for him. the reason beyond the call was still unknown, but by the tone of her high-pitched voice, something was off.    it was late, the pearly moon shining its light on the few people roaming the city’s streets. usually, the male would choose his bed over practicing, but the gal who rang him owned too big a spot in his heart for him to possibly refuse her offer. she was none other than the girl who had inspired him as a teenager, the girl behind every love song he wrote (and, ultimately, never performed). though those giddy sensations that overwhelmed his young stomach had long gone, he couldn’t help but save the damsel in distress. 

( message : junjun )  is it because of your father again? ( message : junjun )  i have practice in the morning, but later on i’m free. ( message : junjun )  will you come and pick me up or should i meet you somewhere?

her hand lifted,  let fingers scratch at her forehead,  as if regretting that she just agreed to lying to his father.  messing with parents was never a good thing,  and as someone who never dared lying to her own father,  she partly admired junseo for his bravery.  she could only hope everything would go well.  a last message was sent to him.

( message : junjun )  you can count on me to look like the prettiest girlfriend of the universe!

the response the appeared on his screen was enough to send the boy to cloud nine. on ordinary days, ahri was someone reliable and genuine, someone he would come to for advice and consoling. but this proposition was far from ordinary, and knowing that her schedule was only worsening - being successful meant lots of responsibilities - he prepared himself for a straight up rejection. eager fingers quickly thanked her for her generosity. 

[ ✎ message to: ri. ] you’re the best.  [ ✎ message to: ri. ] i knew i could count on you.  [ ✎ message to: ri. ] i’ll pick you up at 6. dinner’s at 7.  [ ✎ message to: ri. ] dinner’s quite formal, formal enough for me to wear a suit, but i’m sure you already have an outfit in mind. 

saturday night came sooner than expected, busy weeks often flashed by but this week seemed quicker than others. before he even had time to take a breath and get some rest, junseo found himself tucking his black shirt into his dark grey trousers, blonde locks brushed back to reveal his painfully tired features. he promised himself to one day learn how to apply concealer as his eye-bags made him look ten years older. 

the sound of someone clearing their throatisn’t enough to actually gain her full attention, eyes locked onto her phone asshe rapidly constructs a message to send—the question, however, makes her turn immediately.“ah!” fingers are already pointed in haseul’s direction, even before she can respondand say that it’s hers, because everyone knows about the lost guitar by now.well, everyone except for the person holding it, apparently. “aaah! mine, it’smine! where was it?” she soon asks.

while the small crowd of people return totheir own devices, haseul was quick to approach junseo, her lips now curledinto a bright smile. for a brief moment, the lump in her throat from the nightbefore makes another presence, this time out of gratitude rather than fromguilt. “i thought maybe someone had stolen it…” she muses, although, uncertain aboutwhy anyone would want this exact piece. while it does mean something special toher, to anyone else, it can surely be deemed as trash already.

  the sun hung lowly on its canvas, the shade of blue now overpowered by strokes of orange and pink as night crawled its way into the city. cold breezes blew against the lad’s face, waking him up from the hours he had spent alongside a fellow trainee. with squinted eyes, he fixed his glance for it to fall onto the petite presence besides him, his attention now set on the girl he had asked out days before. part of him felt bad for her, what could’ve been a great date ended up being very mellow and dull; going on a walk around town isn’t the most exciting thing one could do with someone special. but another side told him that their opinion of each other was mutual: though physically attracted to one another, there simply was no thrill, no real connection between the two. 

  @jiheelgc was lovely, there was no doubt about that. her smile could light up an entire room, and her laugh was contagious to the point that he found himself laughing for no particular reason at all. yet the conversations were, well, blank and quite surface level. was it his awkwardness? probably. junseo had a tendency to put up a barrier between him and people he wasn’t familiar with, and though he tried to put it down on this date, she was no exception. she had to deal with a closed up boy who kept his thoughts to himself despite carrying on a conversation just fine. 

  the day was not yet over, a last attempt could be made to try and salvage this. his plan was concise, he would try to bring a little more liveliness in their conversation while bringing her back home. Inching closer to her to keep themselves warmer, a bold arm wrapped itself around her shoulder to bring her closer to him. the sudden display of affection would most likely surprise her since the male had spent his entire day with his hands in his pockets. “so, what exactly made you realise you wanted to be an idol?” he asked. he was genuinely curious, leaving everything behind to pursue your dreams isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do. 

@lgcyeseo,

  amalgamations of powerful voices and upbeat songs often echoed throughout the practice rooms, each loud enough to grab any passerby’s attention. so much talent concentrated in one building was a recipe to raise anyone’s curiosity, and junseo was one of the many who happened to peep his head into each room to catch a glimpse of the singers behind those show-stopping performances. of course, as he grew more and more familiar with the trainee lifestyle, his curiosity dimmed down, now contented with simply hearing the roaring talent echoing through the hallways, although there were performers who were so captivating he couldn’t help but to ask for their names. 

  being surrounded by creative minds and unique individuals was one of the many things he loved about being a trainee. he could inspire himself from others and obtain the perfect feedback he’d need to grow as both a person and a performer. across his almost three years at the company, he did not meet anybody who didn’t deserve to make it as a successful idol. that was until a crime (in his opinion) was committed in the room right next to his. strident sounds came from next-door, and it took little to no time for him to recognise the poor tool that was trying to be used. 

  once again, his curiosity brought his feet to the room where the sound had come from, his gaze falling onto a crouched girl who held a guitar awfully wrong. she seemed determined to make the instrument sound right yet every strum sounded off. knocking on the door, concern painted on his features, he stepped closer to her.

  first times were either amazing or awful, there was no in between - or so, junseo thought. for example, an awful experience that made him beyond self conscious was the first time he held someone’s hand, his hand was so clammy his schoolmate made fun of him for it. on the other hand, a wonderful first for him was his first date with someone he fancied back in school, he could remember the vivid smile on the gal’s features. and of course, there were times he wish he could forget the disastrous moments he spent experimenting back in highschool, like the first time his lips met the bitter taste of liquor. the night had been so terrible that his father was called at three in the morning to help his drunken eighteen year old son.

  today was one of those days where he wished his thoughts would simply disappear as they couldn’t help but to fog his eyesight, especially when his vision could make out the silhouette of a female he had seen many times before. the girl a couple of meters away from him went by the name of @lgcjiae, and though the two were never best buddies, junseo knew her possibly better than most. his brain was cursed, however, flashbacks of an awkward moment shared between them playing over and over again in his head. nothing was wrong with her, she had never done anything embarrassing or horrible for him to feel this way, yet his flight or fight response had reached a new high. 

  the blinding spotlights, the deafening cheers, and the beads of sweat that’d roll down his forehead after hours of performing - junseo had experienced it all before, he had grown accustomed to the adrenaline soaring through his veins whenever his old band’s name was finally announced. sure, the performances they gave were relatively small in comparison to huge bands you’d frequently hear on the radio as they were only a bunch of eighteen-year-olds having fun, but the experience was unforgettable for him. the faces that’d share the stage with him were just as memorable as the nights they’d spend giving their all to the shy crowd. they had sworn they’d make it one day, that they’d rise to the top together. alas, those were childhood dreams, dreams that now seemed unattainable. 

  that was until a familiar name grabbed his attention. often, the lad would lose himself in the sea of trainees that shared his hopes of one day becoming successful. different names were often mentioned in conversations and rare were the days he could associate a certain name to a face he had seen before. @lgcinsoo, however, felt like a wave of memories crashing onto the shore that was junseo. instantly, only one goal occupied his mind: he simply had to check if this man his peers were praising was the same man who’d rock his nights away with him back in high school. 

  well i’ll be damned were the first thoughts that came to him when glancing at his ex-bandmate across the hall. his feet dragged him towards the male despite the uncertainty that sat in his chest. the two hadn’t talked in a couple of years now, surely there was a good reason as to why they had lost contact but that reason was unknown to him. nevertheless, his excitement and impulsivity reigned over any doubt.

@lgchaseul,

  one word sufficed to describe junseo: clumsy. with his head permanently in the clouds and dreams fogging his mind, the lad was guaranteed to forget to bring the most important object needed for a workshop or to knock down an expensive vase back at home. in fact, when thinking about his childhood, the most prominent souvenirs that’d come to him would be souvenirs of his younger self getting scolded for always staining his shirts and losing lavish gifts. his entourage had hoped he would one day change and become more responsible, alas, it had only gotten worse.

  after a tedious day spent rehearsing various beats on the drums, the man’s arms felt like mush, his muscles stinging at any movement he made. sadly, a little more effort was needed in order for him to finally make his way back home. packing his bags and grabbing his guitar, he exited the practice room and headed for his room, his entire body weighing him down with every step he took; he was close to collapsing on the floor and calling it a day.

  thankfully, his batteries ran out as soon as his body slumped down on his bed, his guitar laying on his lap for his nightly ritual: strumming random melodies until his eyes urged him to close them. digits wrapping against the instruments’ neck, his finger nails dragged along the strings before abruptly stopping his movement, a strident sound echoing throughout the room. with furrowed brows, the male attempted to repeat his actions before hearing the exact same squeak coming from the tool. curious orbs glanced down to catch a glimpse of the guitar until he realised. his clumsiness had struck again, the instrument did not belong to him. the high pitched screech sounded unfamiliar, especially when the male spent hours on end tuning his tool.

  a night’s sleep interrupted his journey to trace the object back to its owner. ending up in the same practice room he had been in the day before, junseo’s eyes scanned the ocean of trainees that stood in front of him. clearing his throat, he decided to project his voice in order to finally meet the mysterious owner.

  calm days were usually sparse, 9 to 5 days occupied most of the lad’s weekdays while his weekends were spent tutoring a couple of students for hours on end. working relentlessly with barely any rest days was exhausting to say the least, expensive looking eye-bags permanently drawn on his features as his rest days were close to zero. but when those quiet days came around the male made sure to enjoy every second of it, from the hours he spent loitering on his bed to the time he took to bask in the sunlight and catch a breath of fresh air.

  today was just like any other resting day, an excuse for him to sit around in his room and entertain himself with dumb videos he’d look up on the internet. however, his rest had all come to an end following a familiar buzz coming from his phone. after carefully reading the message displayed on the screen before him, his eyes widened, stress steadily building up inside of him.

  ‘i hope you’re doing well, son. don’t forget our important family dinner this upcoming saturday. your grandma will be coming, you haven’t seen her in months.’ so far, so good, this was just like any other text he’d receive from his father.   ‘i was thinking, how about you take this opportunity to introduce us to your new girlfriend? we’d love to get to know her.’

  shit. junseo had completely forgotten the blatant lie he had told to get out of an embarrassing conversation regarding his father’s concern as to why his son had been single for nearly 5 years now. staring at the mobile in his hands, the faces of all the females he had ever interacted with this past month flashed in his mind as an attempt to desperately think of a gal who could possibly agree to come with him to the family meeting.

  minutes of pondering had passed and the male had finally found his victim, his dear friend @lgcahri. the gal was too kind to ever say no, and if she did try decline the offer, he had a detailed plan to make sure she was the one to accompany him to a very, very dull dinner.