𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Hello. My name is ttpoi/Caspian. I greet you like the sun greets the sea. I am a puppet. He/him, schizoid, I like fantasy stories with wizards, knights, zombies, and magic.

Begone if you do not wish to witness sadness.

EN/CN ok. 👌

Tag guide:

• pre-grief syndrome (Sayaka Miki art)

• ttpoiart (all my art works)

• ttpoicharacter (my ocs)

This gallery is a place to collect my mediocre drawings and writings over the years. Expect nothing but nonsensical madman ramblings and paraphernalia here. It’s cluttered with rubbish, but maybe people sometimes like to go scavenger hunting. <- This is not how that game works. Sometimes I talk about art.

Personally, I think an Okinawa Sea Salt topped with hazelnut cucolate syrup and almod brittle nuts would do

Not to make this too personal—because I respect your head space, but I've had problems with my general feelings of alienation and isolation since, well... always... ajsgdkjfghj

Maintaining friendships has always been a pain in the ass as a result of this; they are always short-lived. My ego, insecurities and the feeling of not being a part of society always get in the way. Opening chasms between me and others. Building bridges has become too hard and wasting materials on people when you know they don't feel the same is not really the way either.

The root cause might not be the same: I was born this way (autistic), and Sayaka was forced into a certain circumstance. Yet the differences don't matter, because isolation is always the same.

In a way, I am Sayaka. WE are Sayaka. And I don't there's a better representative out there when it comes to these alien feelings.

Thank you for sharing your own experiences relating to her character （´-`）.｡oO I personally relate to portrayal as of her alienation from society and peers very much as well. As you have mentioned, it seems like no matter what, the outcome is restricted to a tired expectation. The wisest person I know told me that people are like candy — it’s nice to have them once in a while, but too much simply feels suffocating and makes you ache. I consider most of my friendships superficial because they are associated only with my hobbies and interests, but I do find that it is much more tolerable/comfortable/less intrusive to bond with other schizoids or schizospec people in general. I have always had more ‘productive’ relationships with those that come through my strict and arbitrary filter. I always felt that Sayaka’s easy irritability of who is acceptable and who is not despite her own selfishness is very important for that reason.

also sayaka becoming oktavia and ostensibly losing control and hurting the people she cared about... thats a thing with wen ning too in multiple ways. sorry. i got really autistic about it.

anyways i think you would enjoy mo dao zu shi and you can watch all of it (yippee) on youtube so if you're interested i can prrrrobably send you a link to the video ... or you could read the books or watch the cdrama or read the webnovel or the ongoing manga... many options!!!! (also yes wen ning is a side character but in my heart he is more important)