infinite baths

i think it’s really essential as an adult to stay silly and goofy and weird

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)