The Tree of LGBT

"Maybe," I say, smiling a bit. God, Derrick's just in charge. It's literally not necessary unless he wants it to be. That's ridiculous. "You're perfect for your role by nature. Need no training."

He turns his head to smile a bit at me. "You think roles have something to so with it? When you first visited you didn't know what you were going to do after the academy."

"Sure I did. Follow you around." I laugh. I'm in a blue sleeveless hoodie. I cross my arms behind my head. "I was right."

"You didn't know that when he invited you, and he certainly didn't, either," he says, smiling and rolling his eyes a bit.

I scoff. "It's kind of what he wanted." I think he wants me to steamroll Fernando, actually, because I'm more reasonable. He isn't wrong, but the issue is that Fernando is not reasonable enough to take advice from anybody, and at least 60% of the reason he hired me was just so we could hang out most of the time and I'd have good pay and it's what everyone wanted, and not really because Fernando's planning on spinning around and asking my advice and taking it extremely seriously all the time.

"For you to fall obsessively in love with me?" Fernando asks, arching his brow.

I shoot him a seriously? look, then, "No, for my job to basically be just hanging around you a lot." To watch over him, like an older brother looks after their little sibling, who keeps wandering off unauthorised without mentioning anything. Haha.

Fernando snorts. "Watch it, you'll make me paranoid that you're only here on his orders."

"What, am I not in love obsessively enough?" I say, grinning and leaning over. "I don't know how to convey this to you." I kiss along his face and the corner of his lips. "Shh, plot twist, I'm in love with you."

"Don't try that romantic shit on me," he says, but is smiling softly and watching me with sparkling eyes.

"Can't help it," I whisper. "I'm obsessed."

He laughs and tips his head back, rubbing his feet together, knees still bent, watching me.

"Paranoid now? Still paranoid?" I murmur, pressing my fingers along the side of his face and his hairline and sliding my fingers in his hair to kiss him softly.

"Maybe I am," he whispers, after kissing me back a couple times.

"Really?"

If he was being honest, he always felt on edge when Pluto gave him attention, which was an occurrence that was becoming more frequent, because Pluto’s attention was usually a rather negative thing. When Pluto was comfortable or satisfied, he preferred to stay on the sidelines, just sitting, listening, and smiling as the others jabbered on. However, when things weren’t going to plan or something was starting to bother him deeply, he sprung into action and did everything he could to set it right again. That’s just the kind of person that Pluto was. Although, he didn’t think it was out of a sense of altruism or anything similar, after all, Pluto had a very narrow scope of what he wanted to protect and Rui had grown to accept that said scope would never widen, no matter how hard one pushed him. In a word, Pluto is what some might call self-serving, but Rui respected that and, truthfully, had no right to judge him. He always thought Pluto would make a great businessman if he had ever shown any interest in the field. That being said, Pluto’s attention towards the young man was rarely ever negative and Rui never understood why that was.

He supposed Pluto could be using him for some kind and plot and, while he came off as the shy, naive type, deep down he was far from it. Both men knew that despite the fact it hadn’t been directly discussed. Oddly enough, they seemed to speak the same language, and it was getting under Rui’s nerves that he was always painted as the damsel while Pluto was the dastardly mastermind. He guessed he pulled off the polite act better than Pluto could, which was better for him in the long run. Rui imagined that Pluto knew that, after the smoke settled, Rui would have a much easier time than he would. That’s probably why he appointed Rui as his second and command, despite the fact he sucked at fighting as much as Pluto. In truth, Rui didn’t mind being used, to a degree. Him and Pluto were both just parasites that had found a convenient way to leech off each other instead of a host, and, when it came to it, they both would easily forgive the other for their actions because they were just surviving like the other. What worried Rui was Pluto’s underlying greedy nature. Two parasites are great together until one gets relegated to being the host and completely sucked dry. Pluto had that ambition, so he tried to keep his distance, always reminding himself that he was simply a pawn on Pluto’s horrifyingly unseen chessboard.

He looked up at Pluto from where he sat, tilting his head and forcing a lazy smile.

“Why? It better be something interesting and not overly dorky,” he shot back, he talked to Pluto more casually than the others were brave enough to do. It was his way of having power and telling Pluto to “back off”. The more he reminded Pluto that he wasn’t the meek deer that everyone saw him as, the more he would believe swindling him wasn’t such a good idea. The only issue was, Pluto had his number and all Rui received for his biting was a smile and calm response.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ll find it dorky or not, but when I saw you they immediately stuck out to me. Looking at them in that moment, they were so deep they were hard not to notice. It’s as if I was transported somewhere else. Actually, it was almost as if I was drowning,” he replied in that all too soothing voice, and Rui had no idea if he should take that as a compliment or not. Any outsider would think Pluto had a screw loose, and it was easiest to think he was just some insane man that wandered into a position of power on accident. Yet, no, the terrifying thing about Pluto was he was completely sane, and he always meant every word, their meaning usually only clear to him and him alone. Per usual, Rui found himself falling silent and Pluto smiled, taking this as an indication to continue. “They’re almost like an ocean, slightly frozen over with a few patches of true blue here and there. That’s probably what makes them so dangerous. After all, if you look in the wrong place you’ll fall right in, and that’s what I did the first time I meant you, Rui. I think I know better now, don’t you agree?”

Rui was memorized by his words and his question threw him completely off balance. He blinked, startled. He couldn’t help but keep asking himself what it all meant. At a time like this, what was the correct answer? He stared at Pluto and, despite his words, he stared right back, deep into the blue abysses of his mind. It almost felt as if Pluto could read his soul, could somehow sink to the depths of that ocean and, despite himself, Rui didn’t mind, it was what he was falling into that bothered him so. He eventually looked away, having to pry his eyes to the side, forcing out a laugh.

“That is dorky,” he teased and Pluto laughed as well.

“Yeah, I should have guessed you’d say that. Though I think you take it as a compliment, considering you’re blushing,” he pointed out and Rui’s eyes widened. Had he been, he couldn’t tell. He guessed no one else had really paid him any mind, so when Pluto showed he had given him enough attention to come up with such an elaborative metaphor, it meant something to him.

“I’m not,” he lied and Pluto just chuckled once more, letting it go and turning away.

“You know, I wonder. When you look into my eyes, what do you see? Do you even see anything at all?” he asked, though didn’t wait for an answer, walking away and let his question linger heavily in the air.

The truth was when Rui looked into his eyes, stared into the dark wood color, almost as black as night, he had seen something. It wasn’t anything huge or elaborate like what Pluto had seen, no sweeping scenery to take his breath away or world he could escape to. No, in Pluto’s eyes he saw only one thing; death.

It was that same summer.

We were fourteen.

I was lying in his bed and he was next to me, and again, it was dark. It was dark and warm, and too late, really. We weren’t allowed to be together at this time. I hadn’t tried to drag myself away. He hadn’t tried to make me leave.

We were on our sides and facing each other. He was pretty, with his eyes closed, like he was asleep but I thought that he wasn’t. I’d never seen him asleep before, or anything of the sort. That kind of intimacy was kept from us.

I brushed his fringe from his face, stroked his hairline with my thumb. He had red, feathery hair, not quite as thick as mine was, but longer. It felt to me, all of a sudden, like I'd never touched anybody before. It felt foreign.

I laughed quietly. “I shouldn’t be here,” I said softly, wondering if he was asleep, or half-asleep. I was lethargic. I hardly wanted to move at all.

"Derrick never bothers to come and check on me. I make no trouble, he won't notice," Fernando said quietly back, not opening his eyes.

He won't notice what? I remember thinking. I remember wondering if Fernando meant that I could just stay there, that he wanted me to.

"Are you trying to sleep?" I asked. I was curious to touch him, to press my fingers gently, gently, down the side of his face. I watched myself do it, eyes following the movement like I'd never seen anything like it before. I suppose I hadn't. My father would have been furious.

"Well, yes," he answered, then smiled a bit. "That's relaxing, Juli."

I laughed slightly, ran my tongue along my teeth. His skin was softer than mine, and he felt so easy to destroy, for a moment. I thought about it, for a moment. I'd never let anybody hurt him, was what I thought after that.

I slid my hand down to find his, smaller than mine, less pale. Feminine, I'd always thought. Effeminate.

I ran my thumb up his finger, played with his fingers, intertwined our hands. Gently, curiously, softly, as not to bother him; I couldn't sleep, can never sleep, but was happy to keep him company anyway. I shouldn't be here, I thought.

He gripped my hand in his, but didn't really move beyond that. He seemed tired, and he was half-asleep now. He clearly wasn't going to ask me to leave, so I kissed his hand, kept hold of it.

We didn’t know what we were doing, then. Didn’t realise. We knew why we weren’t allowed to share a bed obviously, why we shouldn’t be alone in each other’s bedrooms after dark; Derrick, my father, they were all homophobic, and it put them on edge. Fernando and I, at this age, thought that we weren’t technically breaking any rules. Because they were wrong. It wasn’t necessarily gay. We weren’t gay. We just didn’t want to move, that night.

As the dust settled, Rune found themself sitting next to the injured man. They were sitting on a couch in a hotel room, the low roar of the city below serving as the background noise as Rune started in shock. Despite all the cuts on his face, he didn't act in pain. No, he stared ahead, as if nothing particularly interesting had happened, but Rune could see the lack of color in his cheeks and the shaking of his lips. The wounds were now in the form of bandaids, creating a bridge over his nose and several passageways. They had to fight the urge to trace them with their fingers, gently pressing on them to rub in the medicine.

That hit had shocked Pluto and no one could tell Rune otherwise. Despite the way he might have seemed, he never did well with violence. He could watch it all the time without much fuss. There were a few points where some of the guys were hit and he didn't flinch, not even a little. Yet, when it was suddenly directed at him, when he didn't have the time to prepare his heart, his calm sort of melted all at once. He was like a broken music box. The issue is so slight you don't notice that the tune is off when you play it slowly. However, when it begins playing rapidly, it sounds all so terribly wrong and you can't bring yourself to ignore the errors.

So there Rune was, hearing the disjointed song, despite Pluto's best efforts to muffle it. They just wanted to reach out, stroking that beautifully injured cheek until his face turned back to normal. It was strange, they had never wanted to comfort anyone so much before. They had seen plenty of people break down, freak out, and be beaten down by others. But that being said, they had only ever watched then walked away as if they hadn't seen a thing. Around these parts, you never gave help nor asked for it. So why? Why did seeing Pluto like this make them want to scream?

"P-Pluto," they spoke up hesitantly when they couldn't take it anymore. The male looked over carefully, seeming surprised they spoke up. Rune looked up, biting their lip. They hadn't fully planned what they were going to say. "Does...does it still hurt?" Pluto took a deep breath, composing himself, then smiled in reply. But no, he didn't have to do that. Rune preferred when he had looked at him genuinely, something felt so special about that. "It just stings a little now. Don't worry, I'm fine. It's only a few cuts," he claimed. Rune gripped onto their pants. Then why were his brown eyes so full of fear, why did his lips tremble, and why did he constantly have to settle his breathing?

Rune was staring at him now with concern painted on their face. Pluto could clearly see it, so he tried to smile wider, as if the wider the smile, the easier the lie. "You look so concerned," he said, pushing out a laugh that made Rune's stomach churn, "It's really not a big d-" "Stop!" Rune found themself screaming, "Stop, please. It hurts when you lie like this." Pluto blinked. "But I'm not." "Yes, you are!" Rune insisted. "You're scared, I can tell. You don't have to hide that fact, at least, not with me." They looked down. "I know it's selfish to expect special treatment. But if you don't show it to someone you'll..."

Rune wasn't entirely sure how to explain themself. The way they felt here, faking confidence, bravery, when they were really nothing but a coward. Sometimes, they wished there was somewhere they could cry to, unleash their fear with, if only for a moment. Pluto had it worse than them. People looked up to him, put all the pressures of success on him. They couldn't imagine how much frustration, sorrow, and fear he was holding up, deep inside. Rune couldn't stand the thought of it worsening, building up for all time, leaving Pluto miserable. Even worse, a stranger in his own skin, walking around life like a ghost. They wouldn't let that happen.

"You'll..." they couldn't help but trail off, looking up hesitantly to see Pluto's reaction. For a moment they just looked into each other's eyes. Pluto's mask slowly fell, eyebrows furrowing, eyes filling with melancholy, and lips shifting to a frown. All of the sudden, he wrapped his arms around Rune, pulling him close. Rune froze for a moment in shock, but soon relaxed in his panicked embrace.

"I-diot! You should be comforting yourself, not me!" he exclaimed, cheeks puffing up in a pout. Pluto just smiled softly. "I am," he said, barely above a whisper, arms wrapping around them more. "Is this okay?" Rune's cheeks flushed. "Um, yeah," they said, hesitantly wrapping their short arms around his. "I'm glad. I always feel a lot better when you're here, Rui." Their face turned intensely red. They quickly looked to the side, leaning more into Pluto's lean body. "You really are a dumbass, you know that, right?" Pluto laughed. "I've been informed." The two stayed in each other's arms for quite a while after that.

Alone at a party, as I often am, I've abandoned the party section to hide in the bathroom of the club for ten minutes and reapply my makeup in the shitty bathroom mirror. This whole place is terribly cared for and there's graffiti on the walls in here.

Maybe there are people who would hate it but I don't. I think there's something interesting about it all, once I get over my surprise at how truly trash this place is. There's a crack in the mirror right where my lips are, and I have to lean down to do my lipstick properly.

In some ways maybe I feel like this is where I belong, spiritually. Applying hot pink lipstick in a cracked mirror in a bathroom full of bad graffiti.

Another man walks in, and I watch his reflection in the mirror hesitate at the door when he sees me, before coming further in, standing next to me at the mirror and beginning to wash his hands. There's something blue on them.

"Get a drink thrown at you or are you just clumsy?" I ask him, because I feel sociable and curious. I don't know what drink would be blue but I've no idea what else it would be.

"Ah," he says, glancing at me. He's quite cute, actually. He looks to be maybe Korean, and his eyes are quite dark, lips quite full, but his face is covered in dark freckles. Maybe I'll flirt. This is a gay bar, after all. "No, I- well, yeah, just clumsy." He turns away without a smile and seems a bit stressed.

I smile anyway, indulgently, and try to think about what drink it could possibly be, because I like knowing people's taste in drinks. I think it says a lot about them.

"Blue lagoon?" I ask him, leaning in his direction slightly for a second, smiling. It's the only thing that came to mind, the only pale blue drink.

"No, not my drink. I don't know what it was," he answers, checking over his hands, and I rest me hand on the sink and watch him, quirking my brow slightly. His hands look surprisingly strong in comparison his face, but they're quite small.

He looks over at me when he's finished checking over his hands and seems to notice me properly for the first time, looking me up and down.

"Drag queen?" he inquires, which shows a surprising lack of understanding of drag for somebody hanging around in a gay bar, 'cause my makeup right now is very understated and my dress isn't quite dramatic enough. It's gold and patterned, but quite simple, really.

"Not right this moment, I just look cute," I answer, smiling a bit, and he smiles back but he still seems nervous about something. "You here alone?"

Something changes in his face. "Are you flirting with me?"

I laugh a bit and touch my cheek, nearer my ear so I don't disrupt my makeup too badly. "You finally noticed?"

He straightens up a bit and turns to look at me. "You expecting something to come of it, then?"

"Well, that depends, don't it," I answer, and he widens his eye a bit inquistively, and he's smirking slightly. "Are you here alone?"

"Utterly," he answers, and his smirk drops as he says it to the same slightly frustrated expression as before, and I wonder if it's his resting face.

"Would you look at that," I say, tilting my head a bit and smiling properly. "So am I."

I pick up my bag and pull it onto my shoulder, walking over to the door to get into the main bit of the club, when he stops me, grabbing my hand.

"Something wrong," I ask, tilting my head a bit and smiling, "Titus?"

"Listening in to me talking to the bartender, were you?" he asks, and I laugh a bit, glancing off to the side.

"You were talking so loudly. Couldn't help meself," I answer, looking him up and down. Some band t-shirt, black jacket. "What was it you wanted?"

"I just wanted to let you know I think you're beautiful," he answers, and I know I've done something right when he says that. Maybe looking beautiful is the thing I've done right, the only thing I've done right.

That was fine, really. He knew it wouldn’t work from the get-go. He had planned out ways to hide away until the storm blew over. He was going to run away from home until he realized it wouldn’t do him any good. The government basically had every house, store, and building chipped. They would simply find him anyway and he’d be treated as a rebel, only making it harder to escape. No, he didn’t want that, so, technically, he went willingly. Well, as willingly as one can enter a lowly lit judgment room, dragged by their wrists to that entrapping chair. The dragging really wasn’t necessary. As Fel was forced through his judgment, recalling his formative younger years, he noticed something odd. Usually, the jury had a member for every emotion; joy, sorrow, terror, shock, love, hatred, greed, neutral. In this instance, however, terror was sorely missing. He stared at the empty chair, baffled. There was a story behind that decision, he was sure.

“Is something wrong?” one of them asked, seeing as he spaced out and Fel was pulled out of his thoughts. He shook his head.

“Not at all. Please, continue.” He knew better than to inquire about it.

He was sorted quite quickly, into hatred nonetheless. He didn’t expect them to take their time on him considering he was a late case. His physical was rushed as well. He was told many others were coming in (“on time” the doctor had added scathingly, as if he should care) and they had to have everything sorted for him until then. The medicine was practically shoved down his throat, yet he didn’t scream or cry about it. Even when the horrid thing caused his eyes to burn and his tongue to go numb, he didn’t complain and he didn’t have much of a reaction. He wanted them to think he was some goodie-two-shoes so they’d leave him alone, for the most part. He knew he’d have hiccups later, spicy foods and drinks had never sat well with him. The doctor was shocked, told Fel he was the least reactive person they had known and that most others completely panicked. They said this as if Fel should have been proud of himself, or should look down on the others. He wasn’t really and, while he did look down on most people, he saw no reason to scorn them for this. It was rather intense, after all. Fel had felt a deep desire to punch something, anything when he had taken his first dosage, he was simply very good at controlling his urges. He feared what would happen to someone who wasn’t, and little did he know he would soon meet plenty of those types.

After being released from it all, he immediately began to build his circles. He would have loved to escape alone, but escaping from a place such as this was an impossible task entirely. The place was too massive, too well built, and too technologically advanced. Plus, he was new and, rather than learning things the hard way, he’d rather ask the others that had already experienced it. It was quicker and painless. Truthfully, he was out of the loop. Most of the people around him had been there a year, and he despised that, but he began to surround himself with them for a reason. He hated being the ignorant one, the one that needed to be taught, it caused him to lose his power, but it was convenient for him things were that way. If everyone was new he’d have nobody to gather information come. He ended up surrounded by three noticeable figures; Rex, one of the over-emotional ones, Tenka, one of the few assigned to a positive emotion, and Ewilyn, a mystery he was certain he would unravel at some point.

Whether he admitted it or not, Rex was an impressive liar. He managed to avoid being sorted into the proper emotion for a year or so, that is to say, he knew how to get around those dreaded observation rooms and knew how to hide his feelings fairly well. Then again, that wasn’t exactly accurate. He wasn’t that Rex could hide his feelings, Fel had learned, to his annoyance, that Rex was quite a vocal individual when pushed too far, he just knew how to focus on one feeling and shut the others out. He used his fear like a weapon, and the doctors couldn’t do anything about it because his progress was sufficient in that emotion enough. It didn’t matter if his progress between sessions was next to nothing, because his fear was always so strong in that moment they were forced to assume he had gotten somewhere. Oh yes, Fel knew Rex belonged in hatred just as he did. It was obvious, to him at least. He saw the glares he secretly gave to irritable individuals when they wouldn’t leave well enough alone. Furthermore, he couldn’t ignore the ones shot towards him specifically. They were quite similar, unexpectedly. They hated the types that blabbered on or pushed them to be more social. They couldn’t understand their excited ramblings, it didn’t suit the situation at all, and prolonged social situations made both want to crawl out of their skins. That was probably why Rex was so forgiving, despite clearly being irritated by Fel’s analysis of him.

Though really, the only reason he didn’t actually succumb to his fear or hatred was Tenka. Fel had accepted very early on that those two couldn’t and shouldn’t be separated. They functioned as a whole, and neither would be so forgiving to his blunt whims if they didn’t have the other. Basically, neither of them would get anything done. Without Tenka’s encouragement, Fel was sure Rex would completely collapse under the weight of it all, and without needing, no, wanting to look after Rex, Tenka would probably give in to that overgrown love everyone else in that category fell into. That is to say, they trusted each other with their lives. Dependency, Fel found the very idea disgusting. He couldn’t imagine being so weak-willed he’d just fall under the cracks like that. As is, he really wasn’t sure why Rex kept up the charade at all. Rather than living in fear, they could easily give in to their love for each other and spiral off into blissful Hell. He had expressed this to them both, and they acted completely oblivious to his point. So, they hadn’t seen it? With the way they treated each other, he thought it was obvious, but he didn’t push it. That wasn’t important. So, whatever, he needed them so it was convenient they hadn’t.

Speaking of which, despite Rex being louder when he wanted to be, Tenka was by far the more social of the two. It wasn’t that he was talkative or naturally social, he just rarely backed out of a social situation when he was placed in one. It was quite pitiful, Fel thought. However, it was through him that Fel kept up to date on the larger scope of things. Tenka was the reason he had met Rex at all. He had greeted him when he first arrived. According to Rex, he did that for every one new. The difference here being most of them told Tenka to leave them alone, while Fel garnered as much information from him as possible. Tenka seemed to find his constant questioning charming, strangely. Fel initiated the relationship by accident and they simply kept talking afterward. Now he asked him for status reports all the time. Who had disappeared, when did they disappear, what were they sorted in, how did they behave beforehand? “Is that really all important?” Rex would chime in and Fel would assure him it was. Of course it was. He wanted to gather as many variables as possible until he could start finding patterns and focus in on them. At first, he believed Tenka wouldn’t understand. He’d give them the information, yet not understand their purpose at all. Fel saw him as one of those social, preppy types who had little to nothing in his head, so he always just smiled and went along with everything. A dumb blonde, one would say. Yet, after a while, he seemed to catch on quite well and gave Fel more detailed information. He gave his own contributions too, here and there, if he thought they were important. Their arrangement turned out to be even more helpful than Fel could hope for. He supposed, between Tenka and Rex, Tenka also served as the brains.

Then there was Ewilyn. No one talked to Ewilyn, not even Rex or Tenka. As kind as they were, and worried for the man, they couldn’t bear to look at him without getting the chills. Fel didn’t share in their childish fear. He wanted to see the worst this place had to offer. Besides, he was the most knowledgeable here. When Fel could find him (the man acted so incapacitated, he had no idea how he disappeared the way he did), he always sat in the corner or near the wall, on the floor, never a chair. He was often curled up or hunched over in some way, eyes as wide as a deer’s when they were stuck in headlights. Speaking of his eyes, he must have been on intense medication before he was released here, because his eyes had this sort of unnatural, orange tinge to them. They almost resembled that of a cat’s, the orange seeping into his pupils and making them look smaller than they were.

Ewilyn’s whole demeanor put Fel on edge. It wasn’t that he was aggressive or anything, when one managed to sit beside him and encourage him to talk, he was quite gentle. His words always held a comforting sort of weight, and Fel found himself just nodding along. He knew more than he let on, that was for certain. It was just, similar to most people sorted into shock, he was incredibly jumpy. Yet, Ewilyn was jumpy in the sort of way where you could end up face-first on the floor if you weren’t careful (in that way, perhaps the man’s sneaking off did make sense). He was surprisingly agile when he put his mind to it. Actually, the first time he met him, he nearly had his feet kicked right out from under him.

It was on his first day after Tenka and Rex left him. He says left, but it was more of Tenka prioritizing Rex over him and he hadn’t cared. Rex was overwhelmed by the crowd of the facility that day, and Tenka wanted to take him back to his room to lie down. That’s when Fel realized Rex wasn’t just another one of Tenka’s casual friends, which he seemed to be in no small amount of.

“I-I’m fine, really,” Rex kept insisting, despite the fact he so obviously was not. He was trembling and wheezing terribly, as if he’d just taken in a lung full of smoke. Fel raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t look it,” Fel commented and Tenka nodded.

“You look pale. Maybe you should lay down, Rex,” he added, his voice suddenly becoming terribly soft. Rex stared at him for a moment, then hesitantly nodded. He probably didn’t want to worry Tenka, Fel thought.

“O-okay...but oh, what about Fel?” Rex asked kindly. Fel didn’t need anyone to look after him. He’d be just fine on his own, unlike those two. Fel raised an eyebrow, but forced a smile.

“I’ll be fine on my own, so go ahead,” he said, shooing them with his hand a little. He needed the time to socialize, he couldn’t just stay trapped to their side the whole day.

“Are you sure? It’s only your first day,” Rex pointed out and Fel nodded sharply.

“Yes, really. Go on then, I wouldn’t want you passing out on my account.” The two hesitated, then finally left. Tenka let Rex sling his arm over his shoulder and they practically limped to the elevator. Fel had tried his best to come off as caring, something he admittedly had always been bad at. According to his next interaction, he hadn’t. They were surprised he even came back, they thought he disliked them. Well, he did in a way, so he supposed they weren’t wrong.

Anyways, it was when he was finally alone, exploring, that he first saw the man. He had stopped at the entrance of one of the hallways, cautiously looking in. This hall was...different, to say the least. While the rest of the place was rather polished, several things in this one were broken and, in that sense, it was no wonder it was so abandoned. The lights were flickering, practically begging to completely sputter out once and for all, and there was a set of broken TVs on the wall, protected by glass. A part of the glass, the one in front of one of the screens, was stained. With what he didn’t want to know, the whole place looked like a scene from a horror movie. Did the cameras even work there? It was difficult to fully see down the hall anyway, he had to glare to make out most of it. So, at first, he didn’t even notice the figure that was sitting there in the dark, head resting against the wall as they stared at the ceiling. From what he could see, despite their surroundings, they looked rather calm. Fel didn’t understand it, he hadn’t even taken a step into the hallway and he felt overwhelmed. Still, a loner was suspicious, and it’d be easier for him to talk to the ones that weren’t in groups. He just had to say hello, it shouldn’t be too hard. He wasn’t a child, he reminded himself. With all of that in mind, he took a deep breath and headed down the hall.

“It’s important...internalize...y-your medi-icati-ion,” the TVs chimed in the background, the sound and image constantly flickering in and out. Every step he took was slow, careful. He was embarrassed of himself, though he supposed it was good to be careful. He had no idea what this weirdo was like. He eventually made it up to the person, which he now saw was a man. He appeared to be around the same age as him, meaning he was most likely in his twenties. Fel was relieved, that meant he’d be more experienced than the other two. As he stopped by the man’s side, he hardly seemed to notice. Fel tilted his head and twisted his lips. Well, if he was that unobservant, maybe he wouldn’t be that helpful after all. He waited for a while to see if he would ever notice, then coughed.

“Excuse m-” he began but was unable to finish as the man suddenly turned. There was an intensity in those orange eyes that cut through his whole body, his muscles screaming in horror as the man’s foot swept out from under him, aiming right for Fel’s legs. He quickly jumped back, landing skillfully in a crouched position, ready to move just in case he attacked again. The man, only realizing now what he had done, blinked, baffled. He looked over at Fel, as if he was only now properly seeing him.

His eyebrows furrowed and he offered Fel a kind smile.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that...you startled me,” he said. He spoke in a voice with a slight twang that was never fully realized. His manner of speaking was light and airy, and Fel found his tense body relaxing at the sound. He didn’t sound aggressive, so it must have just been a mistake. Although, if that’s what he did when he was simply startled, Fel hoped he never figured out what he did when he was genuinely frightened. Fel stood up slowly.

“That’s alright,” he said, though it wasn’t, “I should have announced myself before approaching.” The man smiled in satisfaction of this shared understanding. His polluted eyes wandered from Fel to the TVs, or more of, the glass, staring at their reflections. Fel fell silent, observing him carefully.

“It’s alright. You don’t have to stand so far away. I won’t do it again, I promise,” he assured him. There was something about his voice and sudden still manner that compelled Fel to approach him once more. It wasn’t loud or demanding, but that’s probably why it ran under his radar, his usually rebellious and overly cautious nature melting.

He stood, towering above the man, mostly because he wasn’t sitting straight. Fel was 6’0” and he was unsure how tall the man was, praying he wouldn’t stand. He was more comfortable with this arrangement, staring down at him. Being so close, he could finally inspect his form. He was a skinny and lanky-looking man, with skin even paler than his and a delicate-looking face. His cheeks were slightly chubby, sloping into a small chin, and his petite nose was rather perky. It made him look immature, Fel thought, though there was something much more mature in his eyes and subtle facial expressions. The man looked up at him with dazed eyes, a glint of fear showing itself there, though he didn’t dare back up, let alone move. His body was completely relaxed, it didn’t fit his facial expression at all. His eyes searched Fel, then looked at the space next to his feet. An offer to sit down. Fel stayed put, refusing, and the man continued on as if it were nothing. He knew Fel was more scared of him than he was of Fel, so he was allowing him to have his small comforts. Fel’s attempt at having some power had failed miserably. He might as well have sat down at that point, but he was too stubborn.

“What’s your name?”

“Fel,” he said, tilting his head, “And yours?”

“Ewilyn,” the man said, then, “Do you want to sit down? I understand if you don’t. This place isn’t very pleasant.” Fel raised his eyebrow.

“Then why are you here?” he asked, brushing past his question. He just laughed a little, eyes scanning around.

“No one comes down here, it’s a good place to think,” he noted then, giving Fel a grin that could be perceived as playful, “except you, apparently.” Fel made a face, finally giving in and sitting down beside him.

“How was I supposed to know? I’m new,” Fel said, in case Ewilyn was annoyed by him invading his space. He wasn’t instead, his smile widened.

“What a coincidence, so am I.” Fel’s eyes widened. He was new, and he already found this place...no, wait. How could he be? At his age, that didn’t make sense. Did that mean...he was an unusual case like Fel? No, that was too optimistic, he could be lying. He could tell Ewilyn knew what he wanted to ask, and Fel knew he wanted to ask the same of him, but both remained silent. A show of respect that was quite reassuring to Fel. An unspoken alliance was made between them that day. Fel was grateful it was so discreet. With people such as Rex and Tenka, he always had to worry about them misunderstanding and saying something dumb. He never approached Ewilyn in that tunnel again. He had no reason to interrupt his time to think, and the alone time would only benefit them both. Fel was quite satisfied to have someone similar to him around, although, that meant he had to be all the more careful.

Knowing how he was, he kept his walls up with Ewilyn, just in case. If he wasn’t careful, he might end up using Fel then throwing him to the wolves. Yes, while he liked Ewilyn, he wasn’t above doing that as well. Not that he had any useful information to give...yet. He wouldn’t mind a partnership, he just wasn’t sure if that’s what Ewilyn wanted. He hadn’t the faintest clue why the man even talked to him, other than their shared understanding. He seemed knowledgeable enough not to need anything from him. Ewilyn’s motivations were unclear, for now anyway. By the end of his first week, Fel had three missions; one, gather information on the facility, two, learn how to cheat the tests and observation rooms, three, figure out who the Hell Ewilyn was and what he was hiding. He was working steadily towards the former two, at least.

"Do you feel female, then?" he inquired and Rui bit his lip, falling quiet. If he said no, would Pluto believe him? "It would be alright if you did."

"I don't!" Rui said, eyebrows furrowing. "I know that doesn't make any sense." Pluto seemed to think it over, placing a slender finger on his chin. In the end, he smiled.

"It makes sense to me," he decided and Rui’s eyes widened.

"Really?" he asked, eyebrows furrowing as anxieties filled him. Pluto tilted his head towards him slightly.

"That's right." Why did he always have to be so vague? Rui didn’t believe him, he couldn’t. There was no way that Pluto was just okay with it, it didn’t seem like Pluto at all to him. He was always so factual and, for Rui, this felt completely emotional. He knew he had accepted her, but that was different to him. It made sense, but this?

"I'm not doing this for attention!" he quickly stated before Pluto could, "I'm not copying her either." Pluto listened calmly, softly placing his book down and moving to sit on the couch with Rui.

"I know, although you are being a little attention-seeking right now," he said and Rui blinked in hurt confusion. Pluto gave him a look that was oddly gentle for him and he felt the pain start to soothe. There was so much power in Pluto’s gazes, he just never realized it could feel so...good. It made Rui feel warm, his heart suddenly fluttering. His mind went into a confused frenzy. What was that? "You don't need to have an outburst for me to take you seriously, Rune. You don’t have to constantly defend yourself either, I know you wouldn’t do this for attention. I trust you. This means a lot to you, doesn't it?" Rui looked down shyly. Pluto trusted him...he guessed that was obvious but he had never really thought about it.

"I suppose," he said simply and Pluto grinned at him.

"Alright, I'm listening." Without his book, Rui knew that was true. There was nothing between them now and he could feel Pluto's gaze on him, yet, he didn’t find it as suffocating as he usually did. He was seen, for once he was truly seen, and in that way, he felt like he finally saw Pluto as well. He had never sat so close, he hadn’t realized how elegant he looked, sitting there with his legs crossed, adjusting his glasses subtly.

He took a deep breath and Pluto waited patiently, letting him take his time.

"I just don't feel like anything really. I don't know, I've tried to figure it out but, I just feel stuck," Rui said.

"You're unsure which suits you the best?" he asked and Rui tried to figure out how to describe it.

"Trying to describe myself with a gender just...upsets me, I guess," he did his best to explain.

“You feel restricted by both then?” Pluto asked, clearly trying to understand. Rui knew it was weird.

“Yeah. They just feel like...cages or something. Anytime I try to fit myself into one it’s always forced. At least, it seems that way.” Pluto smiled, he didn’t know why.

“Well, not everyone fits into one or the other,” he offered and Rui glanced at him in surprise. “I read about it when she came out to me. Female and male are what we consider the binary, individuals that don’t feel like either don’t fit into the binary and, therefore, are referred to as nonbinary. They go by they, them pronouns, I believe.” There was a name for it? Rui never knew.

“O-oh,” Rui said, unsure how to react.

“You didn’t know?”

“No,” he confessed. If Pluto said it was true, he believed it, and yet, that didn’t mean it suited him. It fell silent as Pluto waited for a reaction and Rui fidgeted with his hoodie.

"I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this. It's probably nothing. I just haven't been feeling well lately, that's all," he said and Pluto gave them a scolding look.

"It doesn’t sound that way to me,” he admitted.

"But don't you think it's strange I'm only discovering it now?" Rui pointed out and he shook his head.

"No. I didn't discover I wasn't straight until recently. Now, you wouldn't discredit that, would you?" he asked and Rui replied immediately.

"No!" Pluto gave them a teasing look, but he didn't understand.

“See? So why do you have to be a liar or attention-seeking? There’s nothing wrong with this being important to you, Rune, nor is there anything wrong with you discovering it now. There aren’t time limits on discovering gender or sexuality, you know,” he said and Rui’s eyebrows furrowed. They expected Pluto to just laugh and say they were overreacting, and yet, here they were.

“I-I don’t know. I’m just...scared,” they admitted quietly and Pluto laughed, finally, a reaction they were used to.

“There’s no reason to be scared.” Pluto’s words made them feel it again, that state of mind where one’s heart thumps and they find themselves drifting off.

They were about to reply when, suddenly, someone called down the stairs.

“B-boss?” The voice called and Pluto turned.

“I’ll be there in a moment!” he called then, turning to Rui, “I should be going, but we can talk about this later if you want. Are you coming?” He stood and they hesitated.

“I-I think I might stay here for a little while,” they decided. They had a lot to think about. Pluto nodded, turning to leave, then pausing. “Oh, Rune, what do you want me to tell the others? I can ask them to use they, them pronouns if you want.”

“Don’t tell them! I mean, I don’t think they’d get it,” Rui said and Pluto shot him an understanding glance.

“Alright. Take as much time as you need,” he said, starting to walk away but Rui stopped him.

“Wait!” they called and he paused.

“Pluto!” somehow called from upstairs and yet he still didn’t move, waiting for Rui.

“Yes?” It was dumb, but he just had to know. His cheeks flushed slightly and he looked away.

“Um...are you really not straight?” they asked carefully and Pluto chuckled.

“No, I’m not. Why, do I give off that impression?” he asked and their face turned red.

“N-no, I was just curious!” they said, then, “What are you then?” There was a moment of silence and Pluto just stared at them. No, not just at them, into their eyes, and soon they were both just staring at each other. His eyes were so dark, Rui felt as if he was falling into a hole. After a moment, he smiled.

“I don’t know,” he said, giving Rui a curious look.

“Oh,” Rui said, unsure how to feel about that.

“You almost sound disappointed. Why does it matter so much to you?” Pluto asked, narrowing his eyes in an almost playful way. Oh, that’s right, that’s right. Pluto could never...

“I was just wondering, since you mentioned it,” Rui lied.

“Well, I guess now you know.”

“Boss!” another voice called and Pluto finally turned, exiting.

“Coming!”

Rui watched him go, finding themself listening to his voice until he couldn’t hear it anymore. He was replaced with the dead, eerie silence. Rui took a few sharp breaths, trying to calm his rose-colored face. Rui didn’t fall in love with anyone because they were a good person, they wouldn’t be able to survive around someone like that. Yet, that didn’t mean they wanted to be abused, that didn’t stop them from wanting to be the exception. An exception…

What a joke.