long may i reign

if you’re ace and you find that romantic orientation doesn’t mean much to you or that romantic attraction is too hard to define know that you don’t have to pick a side. you can use those labels when you feel that they’re relevant, but being ace is enough, it doesn’t require any other labels or explanations. 

Like are you gay? Are you bi? Trans? Lesbian? Non binary?

I can’t say much about pansexuals, cause I’m not pan, but if these two exist, they aren’t the same. Some bisexuals may prefer a relashionship with only male and female, not wanting to date, for example, a trans person.

Pansexuals would have a relashionship with anyone, regarding their gender or sexuality.

Pan is a useless identity and it popped up during the time that “hearts not parts” was a thing and everyone wanted extra bonus points for being willing to fuck a trans person because that was considered progressive instead of transphobic for some reason.

Any oppression or discrimination I face stems from the fact I feel same gender attraction.

me:

demonstrating the point i made like a year ago about the fact that most people are exclusionists but don’t feel safe saying so because a. they think they’re the minority b. speaking out against their oppressors is dangerous c. inclusionists don’t know how to respond to shit normally and go batshit even over the most ace-positive people saying “aces deserve their own community instead of co-opting the lgbt community”

okay

“ some aces can seek out sex! ”

o..okay..

“ some aces enjoy sex with their partner, seek it out, and enjoy the experience!”

sex positivity offers one relationship to sex and attraction, and asserts that this is the one relationship that will liberate you (from patriarchy i guess?). and if you’re like um, no, not for me (which is very valid and probably applies to a lot of women)? that can be pretty alienating! i felt that way too, and because of it, i was considering calling myself demiheteroromantic greypansexual or somesuch thing for a time. i moved away from that identity at the same time i started to see sex positivity as very harmful to women.

 And I think when I sat and thought about it, I was like - that’s all marketed. It’s capitalist. It’s fake and unreal and most people don’t feel like that in every day life. Hell, even most kinksters I know don’t feel like that. It’s a pornography/GGW mindset where everyone gets to pretend being sexualized is inherently liberating or, on the other hand, where people seem hellbent on convincing themselves “Romance” is purely defined by the Hollywood Genre. (See also: most people don’t fall in love or fuck at first sight - it’s not wrong to do so, but most people just don’t! It’s normal and average to develop a deeper connection first!) 

Asexuals deeming the term obsolete or incomplete, attempting to erase it because it doesn’t suit their agenda and constantly modifying it so that they (cishets who fall on the a-spec) are not the very cishets we’re talking about is an attempt to nullify the language trans people use to talk about our own experiences while using our oppression as a way to legitimize their own points.