I Got That Dog In Me

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

If someone is doing things that don't make Sense, try to understand that it is entirely possible that their brain is probably under an enormous weight and fracturing under the pressure. People who have been stabbed will sometimes talk a circle around the fact that they've been stabbed because stress and shock prevent you from recognizing the distress you are in and what you need to do to seek help for it. PTSD will do this also. You will find yourself repeatedly jamming a bag of frozen fruit into the same spot in the freezer where it doesn't fit and keeps falling, over and over and over, focused on nothing but that bag. You will decide that a beanbag chair is 10000% necessary to your life. You will lose your entire shit because you stubbed your toe on a table and that means the whole setup of your furniture is wrong. These are largely harmless examples. People under strain will also hurt themselves and others. Cornered animals bite. And it doesn't heal the bite to go "Hey, are you okay?" But it might get you to an animal that stops biting, so you can start to heal. And before you had an animal that bit, you probably had an animal that kept doing shit you didn't understand as stress signals

we should do something cute like fuck in a public bathroom

the only difference between me and my gf is she got different hormones in utero. i wish people could see that being trans was really more of a medical thing. your brain Literally feels relieved and balenced once you get hrt into you- it's not just that it starts changing the physical aspects of your body that make you feel better! and its because its really a hormone disorder and your brain and body medically need the correct hormones!

We're many years away from good research on the topic, but sex hormones are neuroactive steroids, it's entirely believable that HRT tangibly improves the state of your brain on a biological level.

getting my first haircut since coming out like 7 years ago wish me luck

You look great!

i'm sorry for even still thinking about fallout: the frontier in big 2026 because we all know Mod Bad but its depiction of the NCR Exiles is fascinating me again because while so much has been said about how logic-defying it is that this so-called scrappy splinter group of defects and deserters can maintain, fuel, and operate a fully functional air force of vertibirds and vehicles and a fucking helicarrier, it's amazing to me that it all exists in contrast to their conflict with "scavs" (scavengers), who lived in "the frontier" before the NCR Exiles got there, who are stuck salvaging for sustenance and jury-rigging contraptions together in comparison, and who the NCR Exiles routinely eliminate with extreme overkill just for the delight of it. the way the scavs exist as essentially an inhuman infestation pest to be regularly exterminated, like cockroaches or kudzu, the way they only exist to recreationally stand in the crosshairs of the NCR Exiles's massive and badass technofleet, might be the single most blistering example of the very common RPG trope where "scavenger" "raider" "bandit" etc are just ontological types of some itinerant creature that's simply born to die, and all of the implications and baggage that that has are blown up to eleven. the fact that this is a mod, and therefore had the chance to subvert or correct the failures of the base game in this regard but instead doubled if not tripled or quadrupled down, is a conscious choice. because the frontier does completely away with even the paltry amount of humanization that base New Vegas itself afforded its own shallow raider types, like the jackals and powder gangers and fiends, but when even that little morsel of effort is taken away like it is in the frontier, all that i can say is that it's genuinely insane to see it actually happen on-screen-- and yet it lays bare the vulgar reason for the existence of basically any and every single other character of its type, in any and every single other video game like it. they exist because you, the player, need entry-level humanoid mobs to have firefights with while walking around so that there's combat gameplay to be had, and when the frontier not only refuses to pay lip service to humanizing this group at all but grotesquely exaggerates the disparity between them and the "good guys," it parades about naked and proud where others would hide their shame with clothes. it is here where its influences from Call of Duty and its use of conveniently evil and invariably hostile "terrorists" is most apparent, but even the most disgusting propaganda game at least affords terrorists an ideology that they aim to enact. "scavs" have no such thing. they are locusts eating the crops and rats chewing on the wires and overgrown hedges that need trimming. it's so fucking perverse that it's fascinating.

how to become retroactively 10 years on estrogen

yeah whatever the second best time to plant a tree is now there is always time it's never too late etc etc. but also like half of my problems ultimately trace back to "there was never a chance in hell of me getting on estrogen early enough to avoid the damage testosterone did to me" and I'm allowed to be upset or atleast miffed about it

oh you figured it out too late? Well that's a moot point really because your family would've been unaccepting at the time and your country's medical system's method of trans healthcare is "waste as much time as possible in the hopes they detransition or die" so like yeah no matter what it was kinda inevitable you'd have broad shoulders narrow hips and have to spend a bunch of money on laser

and like yeah whatever cis women have those too, I'm #fucking valid or whatever. shut uppp I don't caaaaaaare. I don't need to be welcomed to womanhood. I don't need reassurance that clocky girls are valid. I don't even care about passing that much I just want to look in the mirror without being upset. can I have that. can I fucking mourn. can I be a little pissed off and sad that I have to deal with this? can you fucking handle that without shutting me down and telling me I'm wrong to feel dysphoria about anything in the first place?

y'know I dislike a lot about the current era but I gotta say I'm a big fan of some of the perks. like, we got estrogen n shit. that's pretty neat. and drugs.

give it up for estrogen and drugs 👍

And if I said Megamind is one of the few movies that understands Superman.

And if I said Megamind through its three subversions of Superman shows a deeper understanding that the point of Superman is that he was loved and taught to love by good, present parents, and because of that he is able to return that love to a world even if it doesn't always accept it, and he is not corrupted by his power, than many other films either subverting or playing the superman story straight.