d20 sideblog!

every time you think about Fabian’s childhood you have to melt into a puddle a little bit. how evil is it to be in a family where your parents do not want a child they just want an heir. to be you father’s path to immortality and that your purpose is to become the worlds most fearsome pirate, but you don’t even get to be separate from your father in that, you have to be fabian seacaster, son of bill seacaster. you have to be obedient to what your father wants but your father doesn’t want an obedient son, because he wants you to be him and he would never do that. but you have to be obedient, so you can never win. bill seacaster truly 101 in building up your sons confidence like a two story card tower and sending him to his first day as a highschool freshman when you haven’t taught him how to be a person whatsoever. and the worst part is I do think bill genuinely loves his son but. in the way an insane pirate who’s love is so deeply associated with violence loves his son. bill loves his son in a way that is so corrosive but it makes it so much harder to let go of because there was love there. and we haven’t even started talking about hallariel seacaster worlds most interesting woman of all time. every conversation between fabian and bill/hallariel/cathilda immediately kills me dead ohhh my god. the seacaster family is one of the most interesting families of all time. I might need to make a whole separate post about hallariel because. man she is a bad mother but it is so interesting to how she got there. Seacaster family family of all time.

Fig, out of nowhere: I would let a raccoon do surgery on me. Fig: Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice. Fabian: You realize where raccoons' little hands have been, right? Riz: Is that… the only reason you wouldn't let a raccoon give you a heart transplant? Kristen: Come on! They're so well known for washing their hands that they're called 'washing bears' in German. You don't have to worry about where their hands have been. Adaine: Well, you heard it, folks! Getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe! Gorgug: … Gorgug: Where is the raccoon getting the heart? Fig: Don't worry about it.

theres no rule in any book that says a goblin cant play baskenball

It's him. The Ball.

Fabian: It's not just me that's surprised that Mazey treats me like a human being and shows me respect and kindness. Fabian: My friends look at her and look at our interactions and they're like… Riz: Fabian, this one treat you nice! Fabian: I know, right? Adaine: That's not usual for you! Fabian: …I know, right?

AAAAAAAAAAAA MY GIRLS AND RIZ… THANK U….

Anyway it's Kipperlilly hours I guess. I honestly genuinely stand by the fact that her actions pre-rage star were totally normal for an unwell teenage girl and post-rage star she gets a pass for most of that stuff because she was literally under the magical control of an at-the-time evil god and its supposed disciple, who actually wants to become an evil god also. And on top of that all she was literally right on a metatextual level

Fig: I just want to say, I'm really happy for you two. Gorgug: Thanks. I guess I'm on Team Bisexual after all. Right? I'm not, like, co-opting that label? Fig: You like smooching girls, and it turns out there's at least one dude you like smooching too. I think that fits under our umbrella. Gorgug: Okay. Sorry, I'm probably going to have a lot of really stupid questions. Fig: Here's the basics- we can communicate with forest creatures, we have innate darkvision, and we get access to earth magic starting at level 12. Gorgug: Nice. What about weapon proficiencies?

Fabian: This mission is a life or death situation. Riz: We'll go with you. Fabian: No, I can't risk losing anyone I care about. Gilear: I'll go. Fabian: Okay.

Riz: I got this BFF necklace for you! Fabian: You know, I'm not really a friendship jewelry person. Riz: …you don't have to wear it. Fabian: No, I'm gonna wear it forever, Back off.

Gilear: You read my diary? Fig: At first I didn't realize it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten novel.

Adaine, holding a ladle: Am I going too far? Riz: No, no, no. Riz: You went too far about seven turns ago. Now you’re going to prison.