Hate-watching AMC’s IWTV

❧ Lestat being least able to tell Louis about his suicide plan or any of his feelings leading up to it, being least able to tell Louis goodbye, knowing despite what he tells himself that this will hurt him.

❧ Lestat, post-failed suicide attempt, telling Louis about this thing that is so, so important to him, this deeply heartbreaking dream that he could be human again or at least have some taste of it, some small taste of what he was before he was stolen from his old life and body, just for Louis, upset about the suicide attempt confession Lestat just casually glossed over and about the danger Lestat's little fantasy is about to put him in, snaps that Lestat is a monster and has always been a monster. He can't change himself into a human, that's moronic, and being human wouldn't make him any better. On some level he means this, but on a more significant level, he is terrified of losing Lestat and this is the only way he knows how to communicate it.

❧ Louis, once Lestat does successfully manage to enter a human body, then refusing to turn him back, because Lestat did it! He achieved the one thing any vampire would do anything for! Lestat feeling abandoned because Louis won't help him (it's like Louis is killing him again, while he is literally crawling over him and begging). Louis being willing to face the horrifying prospect of an eternity alone to give Lestat this chance to be free, really free, to give him a second chance to live and love as a human the way he was meant to and then to belong to whatever Heaven humans might go to when they die. Louis wanting this for Lestat so bad, at his own expense, and even if Lestat doesn't understand in this moment.

Louis: And in the end, you’ll thank me for it—oh, if you can still remember your ex… the scary, blood-sucking monster!