as a kid, i used to think that telekinesis really was possible if you could focus all of your brainpower to it. obviously, i was a fucking stupid little kid.

too stupid to unlock telekinesis like everyone else apparently lmaooo

my back hurts from carrying around my great taste in music all day

Is this supposed to be ironic or did y'all forget the part where the CIS droids walk through the shield like it's nothing and start mowing the Gungans down??

You telling me these droids are cisgender???

reading older literature is like this sentence is literally going nowhere and you already used 50 words in it

your favourite pokemon is scyther, Whats yours?

*rolls an 18 perception check on this post*

you notice that your favourite pokemon is scyther. I need you to roll an acrobatics check for me.

aah, 12?

you turn into scyther, your favourite pokemon

good god when the roast beast hits..

is your dmv in your moms house or something

i need beautiful women to comfort me i did very badly on splatoon today

Good fucking luck even getting a girl to look at you after today

what’s new pussycat just started playing in this restaurant and every millenial in the room shared a knowing, fearful look

It’s fucking Tom Jones? Millennials are you too stupid to realize that Tom Jones is the reason some of you exist? (Think about it for a second, you’ll get it)

hhhhhh oh my god ohhh my god oh my fucking god

tom jones fucked all of our moms

apparently vic’s vapor rub goes exitinct ? i’ve been using the same vapor rub for years and apparenlty it went bad in the 2010s ..

expired .

I love seeing bank rules that will never apply to me. My app was just like "you cannot deposit more than $5,000 daily to this account and I was like noted thanks