you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

Listen I don't get to decide when the drunk elf that is my executive actually does the functioning but when he does we have a SMALL WINDOW OF TIME before he finds the schnapps again and we're done

yes this exactly

phrase added to permanent vocabulary

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I like when construction workers spray paint their strange sigils on the pavement

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

Having someone ask ChatGPT in a meeting is like being a grown-ass professional adult in a room full of other grown-ass professional adults trying to solve a problem, while a colleague with one of those baby toys that makes animal sounds repeatedly presses the cow button. And we all have to stop what we're doing and listen to cow go moo and say "wow hm yeah that's not really what we're asking but the cow does definitely go moo, good thoughts"

Except increasingly the cow is being treated as a respected contributor to meetings as we pivot to a moo-centric business model that principally produces bullshit

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

i'd say i carry a normal amount of all the mild social rejection i've ever received in my body like shrapnel

we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free