I fucked the white pharaoh

we're smokin endangered cave mushrooms. we're smokin driftwood kush that burns blue-green. i got your girl at the hot stove hand-whipping a pot of beans and lard. six ex-cons in the walk-in fridge weighing out beef tallow cubes on triple beams. trim that, motherfucker. we're snorting 100% oxygen. i got the scientists from jurassic park working on a bottle of quaaludes frozen in amber that my archaeology team found in the montanan permafrost. life finds a way, bitch. feds tried to tap my phone but the judge made em buy me dinner first. call that a steak out. my latest pack was certified extra virgin because nobody fucks with me. it's the only thing gordon ramsay lets his chefs bump between lunch & dinner service. one of my shooters invented a better mousetrap but i told him squash it and focus on rats only. we smoked the blueprints. i was teabagging osama bin laden on counterstrike before you even forgot 9/11. pledge allegiance to the fag you little bitch

i'm at every racetrack in kentucky slipping estrogen to the jockeys. each person in my entourage is handcuffed to a different briefcase. they call me e e cummings cause talk gets real short when i'm around. i've had a jailbroken Wii airgapped ever since ed snowden had his first sip of kvass and it's loaded with 19 digital basilisks. if i so much as plug this thing into a wall outlet, it'll bring down the electrical grid of every nation that drives on the right-hand side of the road. they call my cock "six white horses" cause she'll be riding it when she comes. they shut down my AM radio 4am music hour after 9 truck stops on interstate 75 declared political independence. free my boy long-haul, the RPG misfired & i can prove it. 10-4.

my most american trait is that i love hanging out in a parking lot

I have never seen "wtf" so clearly expressed on an animals face

He looks so fucking upset I can't breathe

you could just do whatever back then