RAW TRUTH EVERY DAY

your 20s are about elves, your 30s are about continued meditations on the elf

once you hit your 40s it's time to find an elf

Fuck I hate elves god damm it

you've got 2 years left of that but then you have to make some changes

ohhhh you elfstrogenating 🪿

No, Word, I do not “want to rewrite this paragraph with copilot”. Similarly, I do not “want to hire a drunk chimp as a chauffeur”, so perhaps you can fuck off?

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

I don’t like when you guys say “atp” to mean “at that point” or whatever. It means adenosine triphosphate

I would love to see a fantasy novel where the lore that the reader / protagonist learns at first is not true

e.g. they're told that this kind of creature has some kind of psychic or pheromone-based "mate bond" that cannot be broken; but it turns out that's a popular myth that has never been scientifically substantiated, and is basically used to keep people in bad relationships (basically the equivalent of "human women are biologically submissive")

one of these big new indie cartoons should release with an exclusive adopt of like the main character. pay up 10000 dollars to be the only one whos legally allowed to draw pomni. i feel like the resulting fandom drama would change the face of the internet it would be so cool

yeah hi this is actually a horrible idea why would you want this

i like when bad things happen

one day they are gonna make offical uma porn and everyone is gonna be so excited and its gonna drop and the girls are making out and one of them pulls the other's skirt off and she's just gonna have a normal human cock and everyone is gonna lose their minds and uma musume is gonna go bankrupt.

no no i think it’s extremely cool that you brought your 90 pound working breed with you to this breakfast restaurant while you get atlanta drunk at 11:30am