don't feed the cat brain

relentlessly funny to me when people treat a relationship between someone in their 30s and someone in their 40s as "age difference". bro i cannot tell you which of my friends are 34 and which are 44. i can probably tell you which ones aren't 30 yet, but it's probable some of them are 50 now and i didn't notice. if you're over 30 and don't have kids, it's kinda all one age until you can collect social security.

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

VAGINA!!!!

sometimes a bug lands in my drink and I say "bro is in my drink" which evolved into "there is a brother in my drink" but that feels vaguely assumptive so now I on occasion say "there is a sister in my drink" whenever a very confused fly decides to take a dip. you too can practice feminism in everyday life

How did that evolve into there is a brother in my drink

brother is a nicholasname for bro

chatgpt didn’t invent the emdash and they can’t fucking have it. it’s mine.

how do people hatewatch things, i can barely find the time to read and watch all the things i actively want to, how the fuck are you putting time aside to watch an entire season of dogshit telly thats just gonna make you mad

That guy from heated rivalry always looks like you just told him you went back to your shitty boyfriend again

sorry to anyone who followed me for anything. you're not getting that

image description: quote by Tupac Shakur reading "Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. I'm bigger than that, I still wanna see you eat, just not at my table." /end id

Duuude don't question my version of events I'm such a reliable narrator. I'm literally the protagonist and the main character. You can literally read some of my internal thoughts, that clearly means you have complete access to an objective view of my thoughts and feelings and a correct impression of my characterization and the events unfolding around me. I'm not omitting any information from the audience. Nevermind that timeskip just now

I like this actor, I should watch more of his movies *opens IMDB page* he should be in better movies

bf has announced it's 'kiss a dork day' and keeps kissing me in celebration but when i try to kiss HIM he holds me back and says 'no sorry I'M not a dork' and because he's bigger and stronger than me i am gaining no ground in this battle. i'm fuming

TERRIBLE NEWS woke up this morning and bf has announced it's kiss a dork day today again and showed me that he made it a reoccuring annual event on his calendar. march 13th is now my enemy

Happy March 13th to all those who celebrate