Bards New Commission Sheet


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occasionally subtle
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shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER

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@legend-had-it
Bards New Commission Sheet

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perceived skill
Giving my eridian Grace a similar shape to my adrian design so I can continue paralleling them in ways that only exist to me
Me when I solve all my problems by quitting while I'm ahead (said healthily and in non isolative manner)
her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily
to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it
all of our trobles seem so small from up here

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straight white people making a romance movie: haha what if it was illegal to have sex? wait what's lawrence v texas. wait what's mclaughlin v florida. wait what's loving v virginia
As preposterous and stupid as this fucking movie's premise sounded (for a light-hearted rom-com, and not The Handmaid's Tale) I didn't want to think about it too much until the movie actually came out, and then I could see if it was somehow more intelligent and subversive than the trailer let on, but guess what, it's even worse!
If this is what it takes to get a rom-com greenlit these days, maybe we should just let them die.
Sex workers are thrown under the bus, shown only as thieves who fleece men in the woods at night, while queer sexuality is relegated to a few scenes with Allie’s roommate (a woefully underused Quintessa Swindell) and a handful of pans past blurry same-sex extras making out in the background. “This night is for the straights,” Swindell’s character says to Allie, before saying that queer people have worked around straight laws for centuries. This is supposed to be a nod to queer resilience, but largely comes off as straightwashing the history of anti-LGBTQ legislation in this country that led towards raids of queer clubs and incarceration of queer people in the not-too-distant past (let alone the current barrage of anti-Trans and LGBTQ legislation currently in the works and on the books). It’s also ignorant of the long and fraught fight for the normalization of age-of-consent laws, which, by the way, did not happen in all states in this very country until 2003. Yes, that’s not even thirty years ago. By the end, our intrepid protagonists have not had sex with anyone, because this is a film about Romance with a Capital R (and I guess sex is not part of romance!) and for that very same reason they ultimately embrace the fascist state of things. They aren’t the only ones who refuse to fight back. No one in this cursed film is protesting this mandate beyond “repeal” signs in various windows and some creative graffiti (...) (...) If we are supposed to believe that the film is making some subversive statement about the state of sex and bodily autonomy in this country, it cannot end with its leads embracing their chains. That’s just warmed-over conservatism running around in sheep’s clothing.
yeah i wrote this post having only seen the trailer, but jesus christ. was this movie a psyop LMAO??
also, for the unaware: mclaughlin v. florida was a 1964 supreme court case that struck down a florida anti-miscegenation law that criminalized cohabitation (and thus, as implied, sex) between white people and people of color of opposite genders. anti-miscegenation laws made marriage and sexual relationships between white people and people of color, most often specifically black people, a FELONY in several states in the united states up until the 1950s and 1960s. though it was already struck down by the supreme court, the state of alabama didn't repeal their law until 2000! there were THREE ATTEMPTS at codifying anti-miscegenation into the us constitution!
like yes, the issue here is partially straight white people's ignorance on the united states's history of homophobic policy, but it's also really important to recognize that arguably the majority of the issue here is straight white people's ignorance of the united states's history of codifying eugenics and antiblack racism.
the premise could have been interesting as a serious dystopian story, especially taking that history into account, but it wasn't written that way at all. this movie should never have been a fucking romcom making light of the violence the united states (and many other countries) has enacted on any kinds of sexual relationships it deems undesirable.
can y’all maybe reblog this version i feel like people are forgetting about the racism and just focusing on the homophobia
It’s Vriska, 8itches!
reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared
about to drop literally the sickest insider knowledge you will ever receive pls use it responsibly:
are you a teenager? do you wish you had the space & resources & organization to do a thing, whether that's an anime club or a movie night or a big craft workshop or creative writing group or literally whatever? would you like to do your thing totally for free? yes?
okay, then bring it up to a librarian
seriously, teenagers are the absolute hardest group to engage at most libraries & we'll often organize programs that absolutely no one will show up to & it sucks. if you go up to a public librarian & say "hey, some friends & i want to do this thing. does that sound like a feasible teen program for the library?" most people will move heaven & earth to pull it off for you because we know there's an interest in our community. we will go balls to the freaking wall to make it happen
do you want a cosplay contest? a video game tournament? a free escape room? bring it up to the library. it's not a burden or an annoyance at all. it'll be like christmas came early for us
Certified library post

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i respect ppl who think frodo & sam were sucking & fucking constantly when the narrator wasn't looking. but personally i think the furthest they went was an awkward attempt at mutual handjobs one night in mordor which started as sam trying to do something anything that'd make frodo feel good & frodo insisted on doing it for sam too & sam closed his eyes & tried to imagine it was rosie cotton while frodo tried to remember the shire or focus on the texture of sam's rough hand or the unyielding heat in his own grip or think about anything other than the great burning wheel & neither of them succeeded. & frodo never got fully hard & eventually pushed sam's hand away but kept going & sam felt like he had failed & part of him wanted to push frodo's hand away too but instead he came harder than he had ever in his life & they never talked about it again
quiet time
(followup to this)
Made the worst brownies ever created just now
Chat where did I go wrong
the reviews are in
Made the worst brownies ever created just now
Chat where did I go wrong
the reviews are in

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actually i am gonna give you guys a genuine answer to that. not the anon because they obviously don't actually care, but the rest of the new followers i seem to have picked up off that youth lib post.
why do i give a shit about social media restrictions? well, i went to the library three months ago with my two teenage brothers to sign them up for new library cards (they just moved) and i was told that under 18s can't have a library card, even a restricted kids-books-only card, without a parent there in person to give consent.
that's fucked for abused kids for sure but that's also fucked for kids whose single mum works two jobs and can't get to the library while its open. and there is NO good reason for it except to appease parents who want to control what their kids can read.
people coming onto my posts telling me 'kids should just do X' have not actually looked into the possibility of doing what they are suggesting. kids now cannot do what you did when you were a teenager even a decade ago. abused kids, disabled kids or kids from low income families ESPECIALLY cannot do those things. they are running out of places to go.
interviews and studies with teenagers repeatedly prove that they WANT to hang out with their friends in real life, and it is getting harder and harder to do it. the internet is one of the only places they can all spend time together, unsupervised, without spending money or getting hassled or moved on by adults.
social media bans won't fix that. they won't even keep kids off social media. they're just going to make life harder for everyone, increase the amount of tracking and monitoring EVERYONE is subject to, and force kids to lie about what they're doing to any adults that actually DO give a shit about them.
I had a dream last night that the Decemberists guy put out a new song that was him announcing the band was breaking up, but the song was also his like detailing his future career path, and it was an excruciatingly granular 13.5 minutes of him explaining to us in detail that he was going to become a world renowned marionette maker and like the steps he was going to take to complete this (step 1 was learn to spin flax to make his own cord, step 2 was learn whittling to create his own puppets, step 3 to make his own paints, etc etc. He was going for that vertical slice sort of thing) All the while someone was shouting in the background I DON'T WANNA BREAK UP and WHO'S GOING TO GET MY ACCORDION because apparently there was a custody battle happening for that?? But as it turned out the song was too much of a banger and people wouldn't let them quit and also he had like horrible arthritis in his hands that was preventing him from making the shit so they announced within the week that the band was actually back together and The Marionette Maker's Heart's Desire was like their new #1 hit