•••

I’m…wow

from here on out, I’m gonna add a tier to my patreon called “Purchase My Silence.” if at any point the profits from that tier surpass all of the others combined, I will stop.

it’ll have all the benefits of the other tiers, but with the huge bonus that if enough people subscribe to it, I will just fuck right off

He showed up in Norway in April 2019 wearing a camera harness labeled “equipment of St. Petersburg”, has tried pulling ropes on boats, is obviously very familiar with people and prefers to hang with people. While we know Russia has marine mammal government programs (the US does too, but it’s bottlenose dolphins and California sea lions), the extent of their programs is not declassified like the US Navy’s are.

He likes to play fetch and be scratched around the blowhole.

He has taken a diver’s knife out of the scabbard, played with underwater drones, stolen a go pro from a kayaker, and other mischief. Notably, it has been said by the Murmansk Marine Biology Institute, who may have been who trained Hvaldimir, that seals are better equipped to be polar military animals, as they have high professionalism that belugas lack.

did i realise they were talking about the whale

It’s a project offering voluntary employment opportunities with fair trade wages to incarcerated women, allowing them to amass decent savings and avoid recidivism (i.e., having to return to prostitution, drug muling, and the other poverty-related crimes as soon as their sentences are up, because they’re right back in poverty where they started).

cursed emojis that no one asked for but I don’t care

free to use!

I have an addiction.

free to use!

who needs coherent words when you have cursed emojis

free to use!!!

me: i can’t, i’m in 16th century japan

bae: i’m home alone

me:

Yet more of my wizard professor, who has a poodle familiar which follows him everywhere.

harold, they’re lesbians

people are gay, steven 

i’m a lesbian, carl 

don’t be a transphobe, chad 

we support the gays, david