professional silly fellow

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it

Babe are you okay I saw you reblogging "here's the life I've always longed for"

my new smart tv came with the 24/7 circus accidents channel

it's crazy when couples & friends & whatnot refer to themselves as "a packaged eel". like wow you two are so close that you are fusing into a long slimy fuck... & theyre putting you in a box......

i deserve to be an eel. in a crevice with a bunch of other eels. opening and closing our mouths over and over

everyone who reblogged this has joined me in the eel crevice. its a pretty big crevice

oooo we eelin

Horror director: What if there was a woman I *didn’t* want to have sex with. Wouldn’t that be the scariest fucking thing

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

Oops, accidentally put on the version that turns into a dramatic reprise of the main heroes theme halfway through. That’s probably fine, right?

you motherfucker…

"How can platonic BDSM be a thing?" Have you watched professional wrestling?

just had an amazing sleep paralysis experience wherein i looked above my bed and there was a green prompt box thing that said “reveal ghost” and of course my dumbass clicked on it and scary eyes slowly faded in as i tried to squirm around in fear and couldnt move like. man thats stupid you deserve whatever happens to you at that point

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.