Shoutout to Muppet Christmas Carol for a) being the best Christmas Carol adaptation ever made and b) being the most hardcore Christmas Carol adaptation ever made. If you asked me where I could find the line "Your future is a horror story written by your crimes" I wouldn't say a Christmas movie starring the fucking Muppets but here we are, and I am HERE for it.
Alright since so many of you seem to resonate with this and since I just rewatched the movie for Christmas Eve, I have compiled a comprehensive list of my favorite parts of Muppet Christmas Carol.
The fact that Michael Caine is always so serious as Scrooge as if his costars are other people and not a frog and a bunch of rats. Perfect.
Like a lot of you pointed out the costumes are incredibly accurate. I don’t know who sat down and sized these puppets for historically accurate clothing but they’re my hero.
How actual lines from the book are incorporated into the movie. It’s one thing to use actual quotes in the dialogue. It’s another to work them into songs.
“Scrooge”, the best song in the movie. Michael Caine just walking around looking like Judge Doom just sets the level of effort he puts into his entire performance.
“And how does one celebrate Christmas ON THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?!”
So I checked and apparently the whole “Put me down for nothing” “You wish to remain anonymous?” “I wish to be left alone” is also a direct quote. The fact that it sounds like a joke invented for the film is a testament to…something, I’m sure.
When Beaker flips off Scrooge but not really but no he definitely did
“One More Sleep Til Christmas”, the best song in the movie. Especially when it transitions from the song to the bunny freezing in the street. Very powerful.
“Storytellers are omniscient, they know everything”
When the Marleys heckles Scrooge’s “more of gravy than of grave”. It’s like they’re making fun of Dickens himself.
“Marley and Marley”, the best song in the movie. Special mention to the line “Captive, bound, and double ironed” which was ripped directly from the book.
Rizzo gives Gonzo/Dickens a lil kiss. This has nothing to do with anything, he just kisses his nose and moves on. I don’t think it was even scripted.
When Gonzo breaks character to remind Sam they’re in England and Sam briefly wonders who the hell he was talking to.
“LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT, LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT”
In fact just the whole subplot about Gonzo being a bit of a masochist and Rizzo being along for the ride. my favorite being “I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!” “You have all the fun”
You guys I can’t believe Animal invented rock and roll in the 19th century
“When Love is Gone”, the best song in(?) the movie. The sheer power behind responding to “I love you!” with “You did once” should have been enough to leave this song in the movie.
“You’re a little absentminded, spirit.” “No, I’m a LARGE absentminded spirit!”
“It Feels Like Christmas”, the best song in the movie. So warm and fuzzy!
Bob Kermit and Tiny Robin scatting is just. Adorable.
As always, Miss Piggy is a sassy girlboss. Perhaps the only girlboss I respect.
“Bless Us All”, the best song in the movie. “It Feels Like Christmas” is warm and fuzzy, but “Bless Us All” just hits you right in the heart in all the best ways.
When the Ghost of Christmas Present throws Scrooge’s own words back in his face. “If he's going to die he'd better do it, and decrease the surplus population!"
Gonzo and Rizzo just noping out of there when the Ghost of Christmas Future shows up. Can’t blame them considering Christmas Future in this adaptation is an EIGHT FOOT FACELESS GRIM REAPER.
The parallel scenes of the Cratchits in Christmas Present and the Cratchits in Christmas Future. MY HEART.
Listen to Kermit’s speech in Christmas Future knowing this is the first movie where Jim Henson isn’t playing Kermit. Hits a little different.
“Thankful Heart”, the best song in the movie. The perfect way of illustrating how much has changed since "Scrooge".
“And I am abOUT TO RAISE YOU RIGHT OFF THE PAVEMENT AND—pardon?”
tl;dr this movie is a masterpiece in every sense of the word and if it featured Ignorance and Want it would be utterly perfect both as an adaptation and as a Muppet movie.
