TADC as Musical Theatre Songs
Right, so this is a thing I’ve been doing in private for a while: assigning the characters of whatever fandom a musical theatre song that reflects their personality. Today, I’m going in depth on TADC in this fashion as a sort of send-off to my latest greatest hyperfixation. Putting it under a cut because this is a long one.
Caine: Razzle Dazzle, Chicago
In TADC’s infancy, I put this here as a placeholder until we got more than “overzealous ringmaster” from Caine. Episode 8 seemed to cement “The Pitiful Children” as a more fitting pick, and I was happy to let it be so, until episode 9 put the kibosh on that. After agonizing way too long on the integrity of my self-appointed project, I found “Razzle Dazzle” was the true answer all along.
Think about it: What are Caine’s two defining characteristics? His showmanship and his lies. “Razzle Dazzle” combines those without the villainous connotations of “Pitiful Children.” Oh, it’s definitely there, but it’s there in a way that feels true to Caine. I hope you see the vision here.
Pomni: Watch What Happens, Newsies
It’s hard work being a protagonist. Everything happens to you and you’re expected to just keep going. At age 25 you’re already struggling to find your footing in the wider world; the last thing you need is to be shanghaied into a Harlan Ellison story. And you definitely don’t need to accidentally become the leader of a ragtag bunch of misfits who have their lives together even less than you do somehow.
Anyway, here’s a song that combines the competency and the restlessness of Pomni’s leadership era. Because sometimes it’s not about overcoming anxiety, it’s about letting it spur you onward.
Jax: No More, Into the Woods
I had “Freeze Your Brain” from Heathers here for the longest time, and I do still stand by that as an accurate representation of Jax and her unhealthy way of coping by freezing everyone out. I’d even written out a whole paragraph explaining it in depth. And then episode 9 happened. And those last moments—that swirl of conflicting emotions, that bitterness and remorse and despair—made me change it to this.
Into the Woods as a whole is a metaphor for life, and “No More” is an argument: why not run away from adversity? Why not hide from what you know will bring pain? It presents these questions and offers no real counterpoint, because there is none. In the end, you make the choice to face life or not. There is no better pick for Jax.
Ragatha: Sugar Cloud, Ride the Cyclone
Oh boy. Knowing this fandom, whatever I say here is going to piss somebody off. It’s a good thing I don’t give a shit.
Ragatha’s defining character trait, in my opinion, is her relationship with positivity. All series she’s been trying to be this beacon of hope for everyone while clearly lacking positivity herself. It’s a lie, until it isn’t.
In the monologue just before “Sugar Cloud,” the singer (who is dead, by the way) describes the moment she realized the beauty of life. It was the last moment before her horrible death. “It took a horrible accident for me to realize how goddamn wonderful everything is,” she says, and that’s Ragatha. Learning how to be positive because of trauma, not in spite of it. Truly, there’s nothing wrong with being the nicest girl in town.
Kinger: Relativity, The Theory of Relativity
Oh god, Kinger. It’s weird to say, but have you ever wished a character weren’t so complex? It’s almost like they weren’t meant to have their entire being shoehorned into a single song. Seriously, if I could put just the legacy monologue from “The World Was Wide Enough” here I would, but thanks to the restrictions placed on this project by myself I cannot pick and choose. It’s the whole song or nothing.
The Theory of Relativity is a lesser-known musical about relationships of various types—how they form, how they feel, and why we need them. Of all the songs I considered, it felt the most true to Kinger’s “The worst thing you can do in this world is make someone think they’re not wanted” philosophy. I really hope you can see my vision here, because I can’t really put it into words.
Gangle: Die, Vampire, Die!, [title of show]
“Why this song, Angel?!” you cry. “What about this song screams ‘Gangle’ to you?” The simple answer is that I want to give this poor girl a happy ending. We know Zoey eventually found the confidence to publish her work online, so why not use that and Gangle’s self-esteem struggles to inform my decision? This one’s veering into headcanon territory, I admit, but look me in the eyes and tell me Gangle doesn’t deserve to murder some inner demons.
Zooble: Who I’d Be, Shrek the Musical
If you’re not a theatre fan, it may surprise you how many songs about dysmorphia I had to pick from. “My Body” from The Life was an early contender, but it conveys a level of self-confidence that Zooble just hasn’t achieved yet. Maybe Riley has, but not Zooble. So with so many queer anthems to pick from, it may surprise you that I ended up going with none of them.
Thing is, a character has dysmorphia; dysmorphia does not define the character. What defines Zooble is their desire to make a mark on the world, and their implication that they don’t think they can. That’s what “Who I’d Be” is about: the hero you wish you were that you don’t realize you already are.
Bubble: You’re Nothing Without Me, City of Angels
Bubble was the hardest of the main cast, because…it’s Bubble. Even with their role in Caine’s Ep 8 crashout and the Blue AI implications, it’s still hard enough to find enough of a personality to make a good match. So I took that one scene from ep 8 and went with that. A song about a creation telling their creator how much they suck seemed appropriate. I’m not entirely happy with my choice, but I tried.
Scratch: The Break, Next to Normal
Because you don’t create a digital escape from your physical body if you haven’t been burned by doctors before. It’s not one-to-one with Scratch’s situation (or what little we know of it), but the frustration of a million different people telling you a million different things are wrong with you still shines through. I think. I hope.
Kaufmo: Edges of the World, Fun Home
“What do we know about Kaufmo that you could funnel into a theme song?” Well, I’d be lying if I said it was easy, but here’s a song where someone looks back on their life, realizes the futility of it all, and abruptly dies. Not bad.
Queenie: Cut You a Piece, 35mm: A Musical Exhibition
I set this one after episode 3 came out and it hasn’t changed since. The story of losing a loved one and having a piece of you die with them turned out to be more and more relevant. I don’t think I need to say much more.
Ribbit: The Tree on the Hill, The Lightning Thief
Ep 9 gave us some great insight into Ribbit…but to be perfectly honest, I already knew what her song would be long before that. Even when all we had to go on was the effect her abstraction had on Jax, I had already matched her with the ultimate song about survivor’s guilt.
What Ep 9 did give us was glimpses of Jax and Ribbit’s deteriorating relationship, and while it didn’t change my mind about her song, it did recontextualize some lines when imagining them put in Jax’s mouth. Specifically the lines “Maybe doesn’t let me go back and save her/ Maybe doesn’t make it alright”
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Honestly, this was fun! Knowing I had to justify my choices to an outside audience made me really think about them. I might do this again for other fandoms if anyone thinks that’s worth reading.
