Mom? Come pick me up im scared

And gay

and gay.

Haters will see you put on a condom and say he can’t afford to raise a child

Why would you have sex with your haters randy

I’m not really in any position to be picky

i feel so bad for little babies who can't drink red wine with cheese

This is a worm? Or perhaps some sort of slug?

And it's gonna getcha

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

why take the moral high ground when you can sink back to the depths of hell 

who has the image where it says albert einstein lived in a house made of cheese and failed the driving test 8000 times

Remember when I was going crazy 5 minutes ago [chuckle of fond remembrance] amazing how time changes people

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

Where’s the YA protagonist teen girl and her two boyfriends that are supposed to save us from this mess anyways

The dystopia books lied. The teen throuples aren’t coming to save us.

Save me teen dystopia love triangle

Teen dystopia love triangle save me