k

Tuna melt au where Shane starts freaking out and so to distract him Ilya is like "I got the marble imported from Turkey, custom cut by a local contractor here in Boston" and Shane wants to have a freak out but he's always wondered about the quality of marble from Turkey, he got his counters from Italy and China but he saw options from Turkey and Brazil and wondered. He really should go, but now he's wondering if Ilya will answer his other questions like who was the architect that built this house and where did ilya find that tile that's in his guest bathroom. Basically Ilya using Shane's real estate fetish to keep him from running out during the tuna meltdown.

Apollo having Eva’s guards push her down a well so he can save her, just for Jacks to get there first, is hilarious.

You know when you've been in a reading slump and then you start again and it's the most magical thing ever and you wonder why you ever stopped? Best feeling I ever. Nothing can express my gratitude to Jacks and Evangeline for getting me out of that slump

“It sounded nasty but it feels like you’re flirting with me” is Eva coded and i will not elaborate

i should like to announce this as well

Book 1-2 of ouabh - Evangeline: i hate jacks he's a lying, cheating bastard who ruined my life Also Evangeline's internal monologue: jacks held me with his cool, arms. His hands held me with surprising tenderness. He smelled of apples, which im totally paying attention to for no reason. His cruel, sharp face was uncrueled for some reason. That happens a lot when he looks at me lol idk why