Like Calls To Like

fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism

adult women aren’t inherently creepy for being in fandom and having hobbies apart from raising babies and doing taxes

the vast majority of people pushing back against the worrying trend of instigating harassment over fictional characters and relationships aren’t incest supporters or pedophiles, actually

liking a m/f ship doesn’t make someone a dirty heterosexual invading your space

preferring gay ships doesn’t make you ‘’woke’’ and good

no one owes you a disclaimer that they are a good person who recognizes that their favorite fictional villain’s actions are evil and that they don’t condone those actions irl

liking a fictional villain is in no way comparable to advocating abuse/murder/genocide/etc and you’re a fucking idiot if you believe that

just because a woman is attracted to a fictional villain doesn’t mean she’s promoting toxic relationships or going to end up in a toxic relationship. assuming women can’t tell fiction and reality apart stinks of internalized misogyny 

some rando’s a/b/o fanfics have none of the level of influence that popular tv shows and movies spreading propaganda have

no one owes you a detailed description of their traumas and mental health problems

abusive relationships are not the same as enemies to lovers ships

y’all need to chill the fuck out over people, relationships, actions and events that don’t actually exist and learn how to enjoy and discuss them like normal people

fandom is a hobby, not a form of activism

Darklina cannot be a depiction of an abusive relationship because Alina and the Darkling have never been in a relationship. They talked five times and kissed twice, Alina had no emotional involvement (as you noted yourself) and literally referred to him as "near strangers". Their interactions after her escape were interactions of two enemies on opposite sides, not ex-lovers.

Meanwhile, a lot of people noted that Mal reminds them of their abusive/toxic ex and listed specific examples. He is jealous and aggressive and insecure about her power; he cheats on her and blames her for that. He leaves her alone when she needs emotional support to nurse his fragile ego. She feels guilty over his every mood swing and is ready to forgive him everything as long as he comes back. But I guess their experiences are invalid because Bardugo chose to depict that toxic swamp as a wholesome relationship?

Correct.

He was right because he was the only one who assessed the situation realistically.

He was right because the world he inhabited was rotten to the core and needed a radical change, not a shallow refurbishment.

He was right because dismantling the Fold would not magically solve centuries of bigotry and oppression.

He was right because you can't appeal to the humanity of those who don't consider you human.

He was right because no matter how hard Grisha would try to accommodate otkazats'ya, it would never be enough because bigots didn't want Grisha nice, they wanted them dead.

He was right because another Lantsov monarch in the country that had been sucked dry by the Lantsovs in centuries is a catastrophe.

He was right because everything that happened after his death proved that there was no other way—everything only got worse.

He was right because he realized that genocide of his people is a more pressing issue than them having cliques in their community or them not wanting to share their tech with people who hate them.

He was right because he was the only one who made an effort to protect grisha and create a safe haven for them while numerous "saints" and other self-proclaimed "good people" were sitting on their ass.

He was right because only his actions helped Grisha in a meaningful, tangible way.

He was right because "the good guys" didn't manage to do a single useful thing while he was dead.

He was right because the story put Grisha in such a stalemate that the author didn't manage to come up with anything better than to solve racism with an absolutely idiotic dragon-shifting trick.

He was right because he was the only one who prioritized the collective survival of his people over his personal feelings and moral comfort.

He was right because he was the only character in the story in a morally defensible position and with a justifiable goal.